George was a pirate, but he wasn’t a very good pirate.
Other pirates had scars and rashes and sunburn.
George’s skin was smooth and flawless.
He never went outside without waterproof sunblock.
And he covered his face with a bandanna to protect it against the sun and wind and sea spray.
“Are you going to cut holes in it so you can see?” asked the captain.
“Only when I can find a pair of sunglasses with full ultraviolet protection,” said George, feeling around.
“Oh, they’re over here,” said the captain, leading him to the railing.
And he pushed George overboard.