George was a pirate, but he wasn’t a very good pirate.
He has so many brushes with death, he could paint a highway from New York to Los Angeles with them.
“We’re not the kind of men who die in our beds,” said the captain.
George took this advice to heart, staying in his bed as much as possible.
“At least I’m safe in my bed,” said George.
The deck went unscrubbed, the sails went untrimmed, and countless other important chores went undone while George cowered under his covers.
The rest of the crew tossed him and his bed overboard.