George was a pirate, but he wasn’t a very good pirate.
Out of habit, he bought a Powerball ticket, and he went out to sea.
That night, his number was drawn.
The store owner reviewed his security camera, and it revealed George as the winner.
Oblivious to this miracle, George went about his usual routine.
Whenever a ship with reporters approached, George’s shipmates subdued and gagged them.
And they’d steal their equipment and make ransom demands.
After a year at sea, George returned to port, but the winnings were forfeit.
He shrugged, released the hostages, and bought another Powerball ticket.