- Richard
- Lizzie
- Tom
- Serendipidy
- Norval Joe
- Planet Z
RICHARD
Ice-Breaker
It was one of those awful management development courses. You know the sort: A day stuck with a bunch of strangers, none of whom want to be there, spending the time in meaningless discussion and sticking Post-it notes to flipcharts.
We started with the inevitable, predictable, ice-breaker. ‘Tell the person next to you something surprising about yourself’.
Well, challenge accepted!
Nobody said it had to be true, right?
I told the stunning blonde at my side I was a porn star.
Her response was equally surprising…
‘I’m starting a new job next week. At your company. As your boss!’
LIZZIE
He was a porn star. Was. You can’t do anything else, someone said. Challenge accepted. He looked around for acting roles. Failed. He worked as a delivery man. Why aren’t you in acting? Failed. More acting roles. Failed. Performing had never been an issue before, he thought. The local hotel had a job. Yes. During the break, sitting in front of the hotel’s fireplace one day, he overheard someone say uh, it’s that guy. At least someone remembered him. It’s that guy who dropped my dinner, and apologized in a very unusual way. Where’s a camera when we need one?
TOM
Neo-Classic
Borderline Stairwell is the most misunderstood novel of the early 2000s. It’s florid shifting of time-frame. The binary language of the people of the grass. A hero will no redeeming qualities. The laughable use of flip-book art at the bottom of each page. And its length, 2017 pages. The only novel to get -5 stars from the village voice. So why it so popular nearly 25 years after publication. Why are whole passage quoted by Alpha units. My best guess is: it pisses off all four generation before them. Such embraced derision is a badge of honor. Point, Game, Match.
SERENDIPIDY
Borderline psychopathic: That was the diagnosis at age twelve, when I threw my sister down a stairwell at school.
I thought they were over-reacting. I simply wanted to see if she bounced. I was just having fun and exploring my boundaries.
Isn’t that what kids do?
Isn’t that what school is for?
Judging by the reaction, I guess not.
I’m all better now.
I’ve been taking my tablets and following the rules, and now I’m a perfectly well-adjusted, fully-functioning, productive member of society.
I can tell you don’t believe me.
Which is probably a good thing, right?
NORVAL JOE
Driving back to Billbert’s house, Sabrina said, “All my stuff is still at Patrick’s. How are we going to get it?”
Mrs. Weinerheimer considered for a moment. “We can check if they left a door open. If not, we’ll have to find another way.”
“Challenge accepted,” Billbert said, rubbing his hands together. “They probably left an upstairs window unlocked.”
Billbert’s mother, Sabrina, and Mandi waited on the front porch while Billbert flew up to a back bedroom window, then flew down the stairwell to unlock the door.
It felt evil inside the dark and empty house.
Sabrina began to cry.
PLANET Z
Gary didn’t have a basement or a storm cellar. When he heard the tornado siren, he calmly walked to the central bath, got in the tub, and waited. He set his phone to play the local weather alerts, sitting in the tub and waiting for the big storm to pass. The rain pounded on the roof, and the winds shook the trees in the yard. Sometimes, the neighbors’ patio furniture slammed hard against the wall. When the storm died down, the all clear was given, Gary turned off the weather alert station and got out of the tub, and yawned