What do we charge?

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What do we charge for a love potion?
Only ten bucks. They’re pretty cheap and easy to make, when you think about it.
Heck, the bottle costs more than the ingredients, which are just rainwater and a little salt.
This is why we try to have you drink these things in the store, or we ask that you bring the empty bottle when you want the antidote.
Why do we charge a thousand bucks for the antidote when the love potion costs only ten?
Because we can.
And based on how desperate people are, they’ll drink it out of anything.

Hercules

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In Greek mythology, Hercules is often credited with performing twelve labors. However, the original poem laying out these labors was lost to history. All we have are poems and stories inspired by the original poem.
Until now.
Reading these ceremonial urns, painstakingly pieced together by my team, it turns out that Hercules was the name of a town, not a single person.
It wasn’t a single individual performing these labors, but a community coming together to get these seemingly impossible tasks done.
So when you look around you, so many impossible problems, look around.
Perhaps, Hercules is already with you.

Weekly Challenge #232 – Banned

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Welcome to the Weekly Challenge Number Two Hundred and Thirty-Two, where I post a topic and then challenge you to come up with a 100 word story based on that topic.
The topic this week was… was…. um…
It’s Banned!
VOTING

Which were the best stories this week?
Katwood92
Ross
Dave A.
Tom
Zackmann
Justin
Terence
TJ
Norval Joe
Planet Z
  
Free polls from Pollhost.com

Go ahead and listen to them and then vote for your favorites (multiple selections are allowed):


Katwood

It was a happy day when the politicians were banned from Earth. Not just some of them, all of them. Now they live on some moon somewhere. Around Jupiter, I think. No one’s quite sure who started this process, or how. Regardless, they deserve a Nobel Prize. Governments around the world are much more effective now that the people in charge are there because they truly want to help, not for their own gain. In five years, we’ve managed to get things done that politicians only talked about. Now we just have to get something done about those pesky lobbyists.

Ross

First books were banned, then schools, then education in general.
Soon followed prohibitions concerning consumption of green vegetables, bathing, newspapers (and news reporting in general), public displays of affection, and regimented exercise. People were at a loss with what to do with all their free time when employment was banned.
But the final straw, which incited rebellion and the eventual downfall of the empire, was the proclamation banning “girls and their cooties”.
Years later, looking back, the historians all agreed that it had been a monumentally bad idea to allow the child-emperor to dictate law according to his 8-year-old whims.

Dave

“Can we play at Shagnasty’s?”
Taylor, the drummer, explained their situation, “No, Nigel, we’re banned
there too. That was the night your leather pants split and you were
arrested for indecent exposure.”
“Just because a man drops his pants is no reason to stop a concert. Can we
play at Tommy’s?”
“You drove the van through their front window. Banned”
“The Green Olive?”
“You set fire to the pool tables. Banned”
“Can we practice in your parents’ garage?”
“If you come near my mom, my Dad, will kill you, and the band voted, we
think it’s best if you leave.”

Tom

I was 11 years ago when the gulf of Tokin resolution occurred. Seven years later the damn war was still raging. I had gone from child to young adult and the war from remote to perilously close. The year before my lottery call a book began to appear around my high school. It had the dubious pedigree of actually being self-banned by its author and publisher in the interest of nation security. Its hero was a solider who had lost are his limbs eyes ears and mouth. I failed to heed its message, so I’m send this one in Morse code.

Zackmann

Are you coming to the book club meeting tonight? We are choosing a banned book to read.
Would you like to read Twilight?
Do they ban books for being dull.
No it was for religious views or necrophiliac pedophilia.
We were really thinking maybe Fahrenheit 451 or Brave New World.
Maybe a banned book with murder, war, incest, and genocide.
The Bible?
Exactly
Is Dave coming?
No, the meeting is at the Pork House and Dave doesn’t want to come since the owner’s wife
banned bacon stuffed bacon wrapped in bacon cooked in bacon grease from the menu.

Justin

I went Wal-Mart dressed up as a ninja, complete with all black attire and mask.
I walked in and I knew people were staring at me, but I didn’t look at anyone, just kept to my mission; buy a banana.
I went to the produce section, grabbed a banana, and headed, coins in hand, to the registers.
I skipped the nearest one because it was an older lady who looking like she’d faint, so I went to the next one, a guy who saw my banana, said ‘never mind’ into the phone and hung up.
I probably could’ve been banned.

Terrence

The TSA agent looked me in the eye, not even a hint of a smile on his face.
“This is getting a little ridiculous.” I said placing my socks into the bag. The agent nodded for me to continue. I reached for the electric shaver. “Really?”
“Could braid your hair to make strangling cords.”
“I am thinking about that myself right now.”
That apparently was the wrong thing to say. Now, I’m sitting in a small room with a metal table and two chairs bolted to the ground. Looks like I’m going to be the next thing banned from flying.

TJ

Banned?! You want these materials banned from the library?! They are a
classic! I cannot STAND when books are banned. Children have a right to
be exposed to a wide variety of differing views. How silent would be the
forest if only the best birds could sing? You don’t know! A book like
Shirley Jackson’s “The Lottery” could spark a movement against
injustice! It’s an outrage! I protest! Information wants to be free!
Sir, while I don’t disagree with you on any particular point, donating
your old Playboys to a middle-school library is simply asking for
trouble.
Heh heh heh.

Norval Joe

There is a small European nation wedged between Germany and Austria that has been so totally forgotten that no one outside its borders even remember its name, or where exactly it is on the map.
That’s fine for the residents of that country. Their goal as a nation is to remain unchanged from their traditional ways.
The last change there was after World War II when the United States forced them to abandon their royalty for democracy.
Offended by the interference they banned anything to do with the US, except for Walmart, since everything there is made in China.

Planet Z

There’s a party on the base, and my orders are to find it.
I check my weapon and step out of the jeep, walking into the restricted warehouse.
Everything that had ever been banned was in there: books, guns, drugs.
You name it: if it’s banned, it’s in there.
I walked up to the security desk and was waved through the gate.
“Follow the music, you’ll find the party,” said the guard.
“Do I need to I leave my sidearm?” I ask.
“Nah,” said the guard. “There could be dueling.”
Good, I say, and burn my invitation with a lighter.

Neptune

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The psychiatrist arrives just in time.
On the rocks, the Sea God is arguing with himself, shaking his trident, raising waves higher and higher.
“Neptune fighting Poseidon again, Sam?” he asks, climbing into the rowboat.
“Yep,” I say, lighting my pipe and pulling the rope from the mooring post. “Poor god’s mind has cracked. His delusions are getting worse.”
The doctor pats my shoulder. “Go!”
I row out into the swells.
Fifty yards out, he puts a needle into my shoulder.
“Just relax” he says, the storm becoming calm.
And, as my eyelids grow heavier, the massive sea god vanishes.

Octoberville

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Jenny and I leave the turn-of-the-century town for the woods, watching for signs of Octoberville’s return.
It fades into existence at September’s end, and returns to the void after thirty-one days.
The buildings are worn and run-down, but comfortable.
The residents are the same, shabby but content, shambling around the paths from shack to shack.
Merchants bring food from the harvest.
“What happens when you go away?” I ask the mayor.
“Go away?” he says. “Octoberville doesn’t go away. What are you talking about?”
To them, October is all there is.
Just as to us, the century is always turning.

The Kiss

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They were the perfect couple, I swear they were.
They’ll be together until the end of their days, I had thought.
He said “I love you” to another woman, and that earned him a knife in his throat.
She was going to cut out his eyes when the bartender hit her with the bottle.
Now he doesn’t say anything to anyone, just whispers to himself every now and then.
And she just sits by the window, staring at things nobody else can see.
Wrecked and lost, no longer perfect, but they’ll still be together until they end of their days.

Paradise Packed

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All of the scientists agree: our species has passed the tipping point.
The ecosystems could no longer sustain our presence. Either our species went, or all species.
So, we took samples of everything, extracted the DNA, and packed them all into stasis pods.
Some of them we’ll launch into space as permanent memorials to our world.
Others will stay in orbit, ready to return when our planet had recovered from our mistakes.
We released the retrovirals at dawn, watching the horror spread across the planet from our bunker.
Then, we opened the champagne, toasted Eden, and swallowed the black pills.

Scarface

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Al Capone claimed that his facial scars were a war wound, and his bodyguard would chuckle at the comment.
“What are you laughing at?” said Al, and his bodyguard went silent.
The bodyguard was the one who had slashed Al for insulting his sister.
Years later, after Al died in prison, the bodyguard went out in the streets and found a kid in a gang.
“C’mere,” he said, and he slashed the kid’s face three times.
The kid’s mouth hung open, and then a familiar sneer came over his face.
“Nice knifework,” said Al. “Got a cigar and a light?”

I can’t complain

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How are things going?
I can’t complain.
No. Really. I can’t complain.
My doctor got fed up with my constant complaining, so he suggested an experimental treatment.
I now have a microchip in my head that will stop me when I complain.
I absolutely love this thing. I don’t complain about anything anymore.
Life is good when you have no complaints.
Oh, sure, I have problems, mind you. Life’s not perfect, but instead of complaining about them, I try to resolve them.
Usually, I do.
But when I don’t, I get out my chainsaw and fire it up.

Weekly Challenge #231 – Stand

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Welcome to the Weekly Challenge Number Two Hundred and Thirty-One, where I post a topic and then challenge you to come up with a 100 word story based on that topic.
The topic this week was… was…. um…
It’s Stand!
VOTING

Which were the best stories this week?
Tom
Katwood92
Zackmann
Stephen
TJ
Jeffrey
Planet Z
  
Free polls from Pollhost.com


Go ahead and listen to them and then vote for your favorites (multiple selections are allowed):


Tom

The carriage pulled to an abrupt stop at the apex of ford’s passage.
In leather and lace stood Amanda Wainwright two pistols drawn
At the coachmen head.
“Stand and Deliver” she bellowed.
Out of the coach tumbled Percy Lambton followed cautiously by
Bishop Denton Fallow and gracefully Lady Gordon
“Pray what is the meaning of this assault on mother church” churled the bishop
“To lighten your purse and bring you close to our savior.”
Amanda led a shot lose and bishop toppled into Percy’s lap
Quickly Lady Gordon scoped up the bishop’s purse and swung
behind the highway woman. Off they road.

Katwood92

People are greedy, especially for food. If it’s unguarded for even a moment, someone takes it. This happened to me. So I took a stand. Now, I leave food out intentionally. But this food has poison in it. Not enough to make them immediately sick, but enough to kill. If they make it to the emergency room, the doctors can’t trace it. Who admits to stealing? I watch sometimes, follow them for a bit, mentally laughing as they sicken. If I keep up for long enough, there will be no more greedy people left, here anyway. Wouldn’t that be great?

Zackmann

Is this the end of the line? Do you have Internet? And you are still here? Do you like
standing in line? No, I have been banking on line for several years myself. I pay everything
online even charities and my children’s allowances. I even do most of my shopping online.
You may go ahead of me. I actually do not really have any banking to do. I am here because the
lines are really long on a Friday that falls near the first or fifteenth and now that the children are
back in school, I am really lonely.

Steven

His fist thwacks into me, a sharp crack echoing off the restroom’s
metal walls. A sharp sunburst of pain as bones snap, a wet thud from
tile meeting my flesh.
His boot slams into my ribs. I am airborne in a spinning sprawling
shallow arc back to the ground. My blood spatters an abstract
painting on the porcelain.
This would be cool in a movie.
I lay there for a moment. He turns to leave.
My hand grabs his ankle, draws him crashing to the ground. I rise
over his half-conscious body.
“Brains,” I say.
And then I feast.

TJ

The sentry post is staffed, not manned,
Grimly there three sentries stand
Exchaging glances, no one moves
Distantly a horse’s hooves
And night bird’s shrieking breaks the night
A steady dripping adding fright
A fourth sentry clutches his neck and yelps
Wild eyes entreat his friends for help
They dare not move, lest raptor’s claws
Close suddenly beneath their jaws
The darkened lab, the crummy pay,
Their wish their lives not end that way
It seemed to object to light and sound
It’s somewhere on the ceiling now
They dare not move, their post unmanned
Where three remaining sentries stand.

Norval Joe

The rest of the kids on the block had typical stands. Jamahl sold lemonade. Shaniqua sold koolade. Baldacero thought he was outside the box selling necklaces made from soda can pull tabs.
Marty was different, he sold monkeys.
All the other kids lost interest and closed up.
Marty saved and waited. When the economy went bad he bought out the kid around the corner that sold chimpanzees. Eventually, he took over the lemurs and the great apes on 42nd street.
“I deal in primates,” he’d say if asked what he did.
He thought being in the monkey business sounded silly.

Planet Z

Every Sunday, I stop by a fruit stand on the way to church and pick up some oranges.
Last week, there was no fruit stand along the road.
So, I went to the grocery store.
They weren’t as good, and they cost twice as much.
This week, still no sign of the fruit stand.
Maybe he got driven off by the food inspectors, or maybe immigration?
After church, when I got home, I threw the oranges in the pool and watched them float around.
“Much better,” I said. “But not as good as the ones from the fruit stand.”