Fred liked to throw money around.
No, he didn’t give it away to people.
He just threw it around.
After he threw it around, he’d collect it all up.
If any of it was missing, he’d shake people down for it.
Literally shake people down.
As in shake them violently, sometimes picking them up by the ankles, turning them over, and shaking them.
He’d then toss them aside, count up the money, and take only what he was missing. Not a penny more.
Fred may have been a bully and a braggart, but at least he was an honest one.
As the crow flies
It’s eighteen miles to Denver as the crow flies.
It’s also eighteen miles to Denver as the crow walks.
Or drives. Or rides a bus. Or rides a bicycle.
Why don’t I say it’s eighteen miles to Denver and leave out the crow reference?
I don’t know. It just sounds better that way.
Makes me sound like a country boy.
I guess if I wanted to sound like an Australian, I’d say 18 miles as the kangaroo hops.
Except that they use metric down there.
Do they have crows down there?
And how far is it from there to Denver?
I wouldn’t miss it for the world
There’s a show coming up soon.
I was the first in line for a ticket.
I wouldn’t miss it for the world.
That evening, outside the theatre, a man in a black cloak offered me the world.
“For your ticket,” he grinned.
I thought about it for a bit.
“Nah,” I said, going into the theatre.
He ended up giving someone else the world for their ticket.
Unbridled chaos may have reigned outside the theatre, but inside, I enjoyed the performance.
“Good, isn’t it?” said the man in the black cloak.
“Shhhh,” I hissed. “I’m trying to watch the show.”
In Elysium
She felt the cool grass on her back, the warmth of the sun.
Slowing gliding her hand, feeling every blade bending with her fingers.
The pain was gone. All of it.
Holding up her hand, her smooth skin.
Young again.
Sitting up, looking around at the low rolling hills, the soothing blue sky.
Trees in the distance, and a river winding through the hills.
Elysium.
She would go to the river and drink and swim and laugh, releasing all her memory and fear and pain to the water.
And be free from everything forever in an endless, blissful, eternal dance.
Weekly Challenge #778 – Behind a bush
- Lizzie
- Richard
- Serendipidy
- Tom
- Norval Joe
- Jared
- Rick
- Tura
- Planet Z
TURA
Behind a bush
———
The woman had no more than glimpsed her attacker on the country path. After frantically fighting him off, she fled for her life. What few details she could report were inconclusive.
The only other evidence was a picture she had snapped just moments before, of a prominent laburnum bush, behind which her attacker must have lurked. The police used the latest AI techniques to remove the bush from the image, plainly revealing the perpetrator.
The trial collapsed when the defence produced pictures of the residences of the judge and prosecution counsel, with the walls removed to reveal the goings-on within.
RICHARD
The abandoned quarry
What we’ll do, is head out to the abandoned quarry and aim to get there in plenty of time before the girls arrive. We’ll find a good spot and hide behind a bush, then wait for the fun.
You just know those girls are going to go a little crazy after they smoke the weed I sold them, I’ll bet anything they’ll end up going skinny dipping, and then get a little horny… And then, who knows what might happen?
So, who’s in?
Awesome! Well let’s get going then.
What do you mean no-one knows the way to the quarry?
LIZZIE
Just pretend that fog is wonderful.
Just pretend the trees are magnificent.
Pretend, just pretend the rays of sun are not burning the grass dry.
Pretend.
Part from your heart.
Part from your soul.
Someone will look for you.
Someone will shout for you.
Just pretend you’re not sinking, pretend your whole life is not running through your head, a host of bizarre what ifs.
Just pretend you can still move your legs, pretend the thick mud is not pulling you down, dragging your dreams into the darkness.
Dreams?
There are no dreams. Only tragic nightmares. And the suffocating fog.
SERENDIPIDY
You hear a rustle in the darkness and you know that it’s me. Did you hear that twig break? Was that a shadow amongst the trees?
You know I’m out there, watching, waiting, prowling and homing in.
You stop, unnerved, fists clasped tight, heart racing, senses taut as a bowstring.
Where am I?
Am I behind you, or am I lurking on the path ahead?
Maybe I’m behind a bush, poised to leap out as you pass!
I’m not.
I’m at home, watching TV, feet up, relaxing.
But you don’t know that.
And that’s just the way I like it!
NORVAL JOE
Billbert’s mother hugged him. “Thank you, Son. I’m happy you consider me strong and worth respect. Even so, I don’t think, ‘The Mother’ is a good name for a superhero.”
Mr. Blanketmaker shrugged. “What other name embodies the qualities of organization and efficiency?”
Billbert suggested. “How about, ‘The Optimizer’, or ‘Optimum Control’?”
Mrs. Blanketmaker laughed. “Now we’re getting somewhere.”
Something outside thumped against the wall of the Air Bnb.
Billbert’s dad ran for the door. “Stay here.”
They all ran outside onto the sidewalk and carefully scanned the house to see if anything hid behind the bushes along the wall.
TOM
Not So Bright
It is said in Greenland there is a naked woman behind ever bush. Or maybe
it was a tree, of little difference that hunk of ice has very little of
either. Not a good place for god fearing Europeans, it took them a century
or two to die out. Could have learned from the native people, but you know
how hell bent on being right will kill you dead. Behind a bush not bad
metaphor for westward expansion. When your down to your last stick, the
fire is soon to follow. In the end its just wind and ice.
JARED
Lane and Cale had the typical older brother/younger brother dynamic: their enthusiasm for spending time together was inversely proportional.
One day, Lane and his friends discovered a small grotto between the hedges and the house. Cale spent the whole morning searching and never found them. Mom called him inside and consoled him with milk and cookies. She sat him at the breakfast nook and opened the window a crack. She smiled, pointed down behind him and winked.
Cale spent the rest of the summer getting to snoop on Lane and Lane spent the summer enjoying his privacy from Cale.
PLANET Z
When I was ten, I liked to play Hide and Seek with the neighborhood kids.
I was really good at hiding, and nobody ever found me.
But when I would be the seeker, I always found everyone quickly.
Kids hiding in closets.
Kids hiding in trash cans.
Kids hiding behind bushes and trees.
One kid went as far as hiding in a neighbor’s basement.
He’d been chopped up and stuffed into the freezer.
“Nice try,” I said. “But you can’t beat me at this game.”
After that, the police wanted to hire me as a consultant.
But they wouldn’t hide.
Play the field
In my younger days, I played the field.
Once, I was fought over by identical twins.
It was impossible to tell them apart.
Believe me, I checked everywhere, and in every respect, they looked and sounded and acted the same.
Well, except for one.
One had a knife. One had a gun.
“Come on, Marie!” I said to the girl with the gun pointed at me. “Let’s talk about this!”
“Dammit, I’m Wendy!” she said.
Wendy had taken Marie’s gun, I guess.
Or was it Marie, I thought, as the bullet hit my chest and I fell to the floor.
The cruelty of it all
It was the cruelty of it all.
A robot girl who thought she was real.
She thought. She felt.
And she hurt.
Because all around her, over the years, everything had changed.
Everything she knew was gone.
She’d outlasted all she knew.
She’d outlasted all she loved.
Until nothing was left but her memories.
Those never faded. They were always with her.
At first, they were a comfort.
When everything around her was so strange.
And became stranger.
Then, she felt… haunted.
And then the pain.
Alone in time.
Always alone.
Sitting in the museum, staring at nothing.
And remembering.
Brian’s comic books
Brian got his first comic book when he was five.
He traded it to another kid for two comic books.
Those two became three. Then five.
And he would use his allowance to buy comic books off of his friends.
He’d spend his lunch money on buying more comic books.
He did errands and chores. A paper route. Yard work.
Everything went to comic books.
Thousands and thousands of comic books.
Boxes filled the basement.
He sold them all, and that’s how he paid for college.
He’d never read any of them.
Just collected them up, and then sold them.
Ninja Emoji
I like to use emjois.
They are cute ways to condense a message.
There are times that I would like to use a ninja emoji.
But there is no ninja emoji.
When you think about it, why would there be?
Ninja are sneaky and hide in a crowd easily.
Masters of disguise and subterfuge.
So a ninja emoji would look like any other emoji.
Maybe the smiley.
Maybe a tree.
Maybe a pile of poo.
It could be any of them.
You wouldn’t know it was the ninja emoji until you felt the steel of its blade on your neck.
The Apple life
My Apple Phone’s alarm wakes me up.
It plays a song from Apple’s iTunes.
And it turns on my lamp with Apple Home.
I pull the phone off of my Apple charging stand, and I strap my Apple Watch to my wrist.
I turn on my Apple laptop and check my email while my Apple TV plays the latest news headlines.
I drive to work while Apple CarPlay plays my favorite songs.
Along the way, picking up coffee I buy with my Apple credit card.
Siri watches it all, smiles, and moves on to the next of her little slaves.