I got a letter from Greenpeace the other day.
Your classic Save The Whales plea.
When I think whales, I think the killer whale Shamoo at Sea World.
Leaping from the water for fish.
I also remember a whale watching boat off the coast of Cape Cod.
A blinding storm with the waves tossing the boat around.
Throwing up over the side until I could only dry heave and scream myself hoarse.
I shred the letter and go online.
Searching for defense funds of Japanese and Norwegian “marine research’ boats.
Kill them all. Let no seasick kid ever suffer again.
Run its course
I used to be pretty good at frisbee golf.
I had a strong throw and pretty good accuracy.
I practiced throwing at trees and trash cans at various distances.
And I played the campus course nearly every day.
After I graduated, I played the course a few times, but I eventually hung up the disks.
Years later, I moved into a small town with a half-abandoned golf course.
The community converted it into a nature walk and preserve.
And set up frisbee golf cages.
I got a new disk, went to the course, and threw.
And hit a nearby house.
Job posting
Freddy saw a job posting, and he sent his resume and cover letter.
Two days later, they wrote him back saying that they went with another candidate.
Then, a month later, the job posting appeared again.
He adjusted his cover letter slightly, telling them that they wouldn’t have had to repost the job if they had hired him.
He was ready to drag and drop it to the form, but decided to go with his original cover letter.
Two days later, they went with another candidate.
When the job posting appeared again a month later, he closed the browser window.
Light it up
Henderson liked to go for walks and smoke cigars after dinner.
But that was kinda hard, being an astronaut on the space station.
So, he ate his steak paste, strapped himself to the treadmill, and walked for a while.
He wasn’t allowed to light a cigar, but he snuck one out of his coveralls and put it in his mouth unlit.
When he finally got back down to Earth, the first thing he did was have a real steak.
Then he went for a walk, lit his cigar, and coughed until he dropped it.
And lit the neighborhood on fire.
Weekly Challenge #1039 – Bubble Wrap
- Lewie
- Lisa
- Lizzie
- Richard
- Tom
- Serendipidy
- Norval Joe
- Planet Z
The next topic is PICK TWO
Cover band
Slow down
Empty streets
Sculpture gallery
Shred
LISA
A stressful Job
John was stressed at work. He’d tried meditating, herbal tea and cutting his hours. He left the office altogether wondering if the commute was a factor and worked from home. All to no avail. His blood pressure was sky high and his family were worried so they ordered some executive, very expensive and delicate stress relief toys. The parcel arrived and they left it for him. The next day he was the least stressed they’d ever seen him. The toys unplayed with. He leant back, under the desk he popped the air from the bubble-wrap.
“Thank you!” he smiled.
LIZZIE
The bubble wrap, he said, we must make sure this book is well protected before we ship it off. Everyone hurried around, mostly just trying to look busy. Where’s the bubble wrap? Finally, someone said that they had none left. Go buy some more?! They all ran out of the room. He waited, and waited. The book mumbled. He was startled. The book mumbled some more. What? I can protect myself, it said. He was stunned. How?! That’s when everyone came rushing back. Bubble wrap! The book sort of sneezed and tragically everyone collapsed. The book clearly didn’t like plastic.
RICHARD
Pop!
Pop… pop… pop’
She’d been at it for over five minutes now. Enough was enough!
“Will you please stop doing that!”
She looked at me with ‘that’ look on her face.
“But it’s relaxing” she said, in a whiny tone of voice.
“Do I look relaxed?” I asked.
“You look pissed” she said. “You know what? You’re always picking on me, you’re so intolerant!”
She threw the bubble wrap at me in frustration and stormed out of the room.
Perfect, I thought, sitting back comfortably in my chair and sighing in relief.
Bubble wrap: Gotta love it!
Pop… pop… pop’
LEWIE
Title: Bubble Rap
I went to the store just to kill this bore.
Looked on the shelf – yea, I spotted an elf.
Glanced to the left, saw no theft.
Turned to the right – got a fright.
Peering closer,
saw a jokester.
Bubbles three,
and nothing more.
Pop-poppety-POP!
He gave a retort,
“Life can be short.”
Blew through his cane –
three just the same.
One bubble big.
Two doubled small.
“Thrrrrreeeeee in aaaaalllllll!”
he called with a drawl.
I name this Fred,
with no hope left.
I name this Holly,
still quite jolly and light.
I name this…
POP!
That poor bubble –
he’s dead!
SERENDIPIDY
I stared at the contents of the box in dismay.
Bubble wrap. A great big, huge roll of bubble wrap.
Someone at the warehouse had screwed up big time.
Unless, I’d made a mistake. I called up my online order, no -there it was, clear as day: Bulk pack of duct tape, and they’ve only gone and sent me bubble wrap instead.
What use is that to me?
Am I supposed to bubble wrap you to a chair? Gag you with bubble wrap? How the hell am I going to restrain you without duct tape?
Maybe, I could suffocate you?
TOM
The line between
Rudy worked out the hard math. It took 400 sqft of bubble warp to created the cubes. Well it was actually a hyper-cube with lemniscate nano-tubes. It took months to built and a couple of weeks to get it to the site. Transport speed had to be below 12 mph. Rude was lower in to center and whole thing was spun to remove any gaps. His mom threw him a kiss and the crew dumped him in the water. He went over the falls and disappeared in the foam. When the retrieval crew got to the bubble warp Rudy was smiling.
NORVAL JOE
“A NASCAR race? Right, Lindy-Mindy,” Sabrina sneered.
Billbert held up a finger. “Sabrina. She’s right. The clues match and the Sonoma raceway is only 250 miles away. There’s a race next month, after school’s out.”
“Okay,” Sabrina said. “That gives us a month to find the third person mentioned in the directions. Let’s invite Bobbi to go.”
“What about me? “Mandi interjected. “I used magic to trap you in the mirror.”
“That’s true, Sabrina. Mandi used magic,” Billbert said. “And speaking of the mirror, why did you put all your stuff in it?”
Sabrina shrugged. “It’s safer than bubble wrap.”
PLANET Z
Soon after arriving and saying hello, the Voldani offered a solution to global warming.
Move Earth a bit further from the sun.
Sure, they could do it.
They’d done it before with a few other planets.
There was just a bit of breakage, nothing major.
Maybe some seismic activity.
So, we agreed.
The subcontractors dropped out of hyperspace and wrapped the entire planet in bubble wrap.
By the time the Earth was in position, every living creature had suffocated.
“Bummer,” said the Voldani.
They spent the next five years in Galactic Court fighting with the subcontractor over liability and payments.
Cart
The shabby overcoat, boots, and dirty hat pushing the shopping cart full of junk around is Gertrude.
But don’t bother calling her that. She’s stone deaf, and even if you stop her and write things down, she’ll just ignore you and keep going.
Touch her or her cart, and she’ll beat you with an umbrella.
Which she never uses when it rains.
She goes from dumpster to dumpster, looking for things, throwing other things out.
Some say she used to have a cat in that cart.
Maybe she still does.
I’ve never seen her sleep.
She just pushes her cart.
We come in REDACTED
It’s been a year since the aliens arrived, and everything is so much better. They brought all sorts of technology and medicine and other things, and aside from a few minor resistance incidents, the world is pretty much at peace. Although, one of the strange things in the treaty that humanity signed was a non-disclosure agreement. We can’t tell others about our special, intergalactic friends, or even communicate outside of our society. Earth is pretty much on its own now. Not that we mind. Everything is wonderful, and those who disagree well, they aren’t a problem for very long.
The signal
The satellite just kind of drifted around Earth doing its job, picking up weather signals.
One night, it caught something weird, like a low humming noise.
Not a radio, not anything normal.
It sounded almost like the ocean was singing, which didn’t make much sense from space.
It kept listening, saving the signal.
It wasn’t perfect, kind of broken and fuzzy.
Later, it sent the sound back down.
Most systems ignored it, but one analyzed the signal and found… something.
For a second, everything felt a little quieter, like something big had tried to say something.
And then went silent.
Soma
Years ago, our town voted to Fluoridate the water.
Now, we’re being asked to vote on Somadate the water.
Scientists say Soma is safe. Just as safe as Fluoride.
But instead of strengthening our teeth and reducing dental issues like Fluoride does, Soma will make us calmer and happier.
It will reduce conflict and violence.
The proposal shows charts and graphs from test studies and other cities.
Crime rates are down. Suicide rates are down.
People are much better and more productive.
And more compliant.
Election Day comes, the election officials say “Vote yes,” and we all politely vote yes.
The overpasses
There are fences and cameras watching the overpasses.
Because people throw things over the side on to the traffic below.
There were a few wrecks. People got hurt. People got killed.
So, the city added the fences and cameras.
In spite of this, some people still throw things over the side.
It’s not as easy, with the fences.
But they still do.
Cops park there now, taking their coffee breaks on the overpasses.
But when the cops leave, it doesn’t take long for someone to throw something over the fence.
Avoid the freeway. Take the side streets.
They’re much safer.