Cracked Statue

Word came to Prague that Emperor Rudolf was about to order a massacre.
So Rabbi Loew dredged clay from the river and constructed a golem.
Placing the shem in its mouth, “Protect us, Yosef,” ordered the holy man.
And the monster did, smiting and repelling hundreds of soldiers.
Word came to Prague that Emperor Rudolf had made a wife for the golem.
Even if it was just a beautiful statue, that didn’t matter to the monster.
It went mad with desire, smiting hundreds more.
Rabbi Loew somehow managed to remove the shem.
And he waited for the soldiers to come.

Electoral College

In the 2000 election, Bush won the presidency, despite losing the popular vote.
Protestors demonstrated, rioted, and whined that he was “Selected Not Elected.”
They threatened and begged the Electoral College to change the results.
Academics and journalists kept up that slogan for years.
Then, in 2016, Trump won the presidency, despite losing the popular vote.
More protests, more riots, and more whining.
More threats and begging, too.
If the country wants to change to a direct popular vote, let it ratify a Constitutional Amendment to abolish the Electoral College.
Or will we suffer another sixteen years of your bullshit?

Weekly Challenge #685 – SURROUNDED

Sleepy

NORVAL JOE

Sitting in his sixth period biology class, surrounded by strangers, Billbert felt the depths of exactly how alone he was.

New to the school, new to the town, and new to the idea of having a superpower, how could he feel anything but isolation? From his desk at the side of the classroom, he looked at the students around him. He couldn’t identify a single person by name.

And the kids he had gotten to know? Roderick, Wanda, and Linoliumanda; who among them could he trust?
Well, Linoliumanda. Maybe he could trust her. But her parents were completely wacked out.

SERENDIPIDY

There comes a time when you become acutely aware that you’re facing impossible odds. The moment realisation dawns that there’s nothing you can do and that anything you try is doomed to failure.

Like now.

Surrounded, on all sides, by the zombie horde, closing in with their moaning, shuffling, inexorable dance, in which I will be an unwilling partner.

Did I say ‘impossible’ odds?

Well, maybe not quite, as my baseball bat connected, with a satisfying thud, with the nearest zombie’s head.

I scooped out a handful of brain and tasted it.

Well, if you can’t beat ’em… Join’ em!

TOM

Not Like the Movies

“Your surrounded Billy,” echoed the bullhorn. “You ain’t taken me alive coppers.” Return Billy also with a hail of bullets. From high top a gigantic, globe-shaped gas storage tank Billy took his last stand. He was tempted to yell out,” Made it Ma, top of the world”, but he never much care for his mother. So instead he yelled, “Fuck You.” Caught a bullet in the neck and fell 200 feet to the ground. The police dropped a tarp to surround the body parts. In the end a less then cinematic ending. That’s the trouble with real life. Pretty prosaic.

LIZZIE

He looked up and smiled. He was surrounded by trees. As always, he had returned to his comfort place, the forest, the dark gloomy forest, the threatening little grim pathless forest. When he looked up, he didn’t see the dark. He saw beautiful trees in gorgeous tones of yellows, oranges and reds, and browns with a pinch of green here and there. He especially loved his spot, right in the middle of all those wonderful trees. He didn’t know if it was the middle, but he liked to think it was. He looked up again and smiled a dark smile.

RICHARD

All words, no substance

I’m surrounded by idiots, incompetents and fools!
My advisers spout nonsense and plot to bring me down, the press tells lies, distorts the truth and makes up fake stories to undermine me; and I’m constantly criticised for having good old fashioned values like misogyny and arrogance.

Surrounded, by nasty people, with nasty agendas, and nasty accusations.

Well, I’m in charge, and if you don’t like it, I have plenty of friends with rifles to persuade you to see my point of view!

I’ve said enough – 100 words is too much.

When a 280 character tweet is more than enough!

PLANET Z

Billy had been fitted with a tracking device, so they always knew where he was.
“Stay where you’re supposed to stay,” said the technician. “Otherwise, you’ll die.”
So, Billy stayed in his room.
Food, books, and basic essentials were brought to him.
Back in the day, they executed people for what he’d done.
But these days, not any more.
Which angered a few people.
They broke into Billy’s room and dragged him out.
The tracking device released the poison.
Billy died painfully.
Those people who dragged him out, were fitted with their own tracking devices.
And sent to their rooms.

Elephants’ End

After the elephants went extinct, people started seeing the ghosts of elephants everywhere.
In the empty enclosures at the zoo…
In the middle of traffic…
In elevators…
In restaurants…
They weren’t mass delusions, because everybody saw them.
When an elephant ghost appeared on television, everybody saw it.
The elephants just stood there, minding their own business.
They’d fan their ears, dip their trunks, turn their heads to one side or the other.
And then slowly vanish again.
Scientists have frozen elephant sperm, eggs, and embryos.
But they’re not sure how to gestate them into elephants.
Until then, the ghosts appear.

Safety pin

After Trump won the election, a lot of people didn’t feel safe.
Gays. Blacks. Illegal immigrants. Muslims.
So, someone suggested that people wear safety pins to show that they’re safe.
Never mind that they’re kinda hard to see from a distance.
And anyone can put on a safety pin, even if they’re not safe.
What if you see a safety pin on a Klan robe?
Or on the beret of a New Black Panther?
Me, I’ll look for a policeman’s badge.
And if I’m doing something that makes me fear the police, I deserve whatever I have coming to me.

Summer at the beach

Every summer at the beach, Dad and I would assemble a box kite, and fly it over the dunes.
Just as his dad did with him.
And I do with my kids.
And my kids will do with theirs.
When the kite is too worn or damaged to fly, a new one is assembled.
When the father is too worn or damaged, the staff try to repair him, blowing sand from his gears.
And if they can’t, a new one is assembled.
Same with the kids.
The tourists take photos with their smartphones.
And buy box kites, and fly them.

Good morning, Maria

Maria turned off the water in the shower, slipped, fell, and broke her neck.
“Good morning,” said the mirror. “I’ve selected an outfit for you today.”
Robots pulled the proper bins from the basement up to her bedroom closet.
“I’ve determined the best hairstyle to go with it.”
The groomer system dried and styled her hair into place.
Finally, the mirror suggested a makeup look that would complement that outfit.
An applicator came out of the wall, and covered her face.
“Close your eyes,” said the mirror.
The mirror repeated its request for hours before it called Maintenance for assistance.

Pieces

We bring slaves and prisoners to the Gorgon’s island.
They chew the petals of the bliss flower, and fall into a dreamy stupor.
So many pretty colors and sounds and spells.
Follow them! Chase them!
They wander the island, laughing and smiling and then…
The Gorgon awakens, and crawls out of her cave.
One by one, she finds the intruders, gazing into their eyes, and turning them to stone.
Gorgon pulls some weeds from the ground, chews them, and crawls back to her cave.
We drag the statues back to the boat and set sail.
The king will pay handsomely.

Mandala

The monks bend over the floor and rub styluses against their sticks of colored chalk.
Scratch, scratch, scratch.
Slowly, the wheel forms, and together they create intricate symmetrical whorls and loops and bends and curves.
The monks hum and chant as they build the patterns.
Not once do they speak. Only through their prayers do they keep the flow.
They change direction all at once, like a flock of birds shifting in the wind.
Coming closer at the center, scratching circles of shifting color.
And then, they finish.
The master nods, takes out a broom, and sweeps the chalk away.

Serendipidy – Pick Two

Thanks to complications at my birth, I suffered from stunted growth.

The youngest of four siblings, it was clear that I was the runt of the litter, and my small stature was, no doubt, mirrored by my intelligence.

Mine was an unpleasant childhood: Brought up in an atmosphere of loathing and bitterness, yet – as they say – what doesn’t kill you, only makes you stronger.

I grew very strong.

And the killing… took place at my hands. First my brothers and sister, followed by my parents.

I got away with it, of course, thanks to my ‘stunted mental growth’.