The 100 Word Stories Podcast

Welcome to the 100 Word Stories podcast at oneadayuntilthedayidie.com.

This is Weekly Challenge, where I post a topic and then challenge you to come up with a 100 word story based on that topic.

We’ve got stories by:

• John Musico
• Jeffrey
• Richard
• Lizzie
• Jerry
• Serendipity
• Tura Brezoianu
• Tom
• Norval Joe
• Munsi
• Jennifer
• Zackmann
• Planet Z

JOHN MUSICO

John
Hopeless

Dr. Analitico’s patient; Mildred, worried she was depressed. He asked; “If you won the lottery, what would you think, what would you feel?”
Mildred’s eyes took on a far away gaze; “Oh that would be wonderful; I’d get out of debt, help my kids pay for school as I always wanted to,
get a maid…so many things”. The psychiatrist announced confidently; “You are NOT depressed. The difference between depression and simply being bummed out is anhedonia: wanting is absent in true depression”. Mildred sighed her relief audibly and calmly told Dr Analitico she’s bummed she can’t pay for the visit.

JEFFREY

The Curve
by Jeffrey Fischer

Adam licked the back of his pencil. He needed an 85 on this test to pass his calculus course. Too many nights farting around instead of studying, compounding his innate lack of understanding of the subject, had gotten him to this point.

He flipped the exam to page 1. “Integrate 6 x^5 – 18 x^2 + 7 dx,” read the first question. He flipped the page back again. This was hopeless. He stood and walked from the exam room.

When Adam failed the course, his professor pointed out that an 85 still wouldn’t have helped. “Son, you needed around a 130 out of 100 to pass the course. You’re no good at calculus, but your basic math skills aren’t all that great, either.”

Hopeless Romantic
by Jeffrey Fischer

A hopeless romantic, Dalton always imagined he would find his soul mate if he just looked long enough. Unfortunately, Dalton was short, plump, and balding prematurely, with thick spectacles, and his idea of a suitable match was a willowy blonde with a million-watt smile and endless legs.

Dalton’s latest mission involved a one-named model with a half-dozen degrees to her name. When he made his intentions clear, so did she. Dalton slunk away, as he had so many times before.

A hopeless romantic indeed: he was certainly romantic, and he was most certainly hopeless.

RICHARD

#1 – Hero

It’s one of the great movie standbys: The hero, having succeeded against impossible odds, faces the final test of character and heroism – a hopeless situation.

Inevitably, somebody is going to die, and – equally inevitably – it’s going to be the hero. Sacrificing his own life for the greater good, saving the planet and the day.

I have to be honest, no matter how desperate the circumstances, you’ll never find me volunteering to be that hero. I’ll be the one keeping my head down, staying in the background and demonstrating no survival skills whatsoever.

Heroes die.

But I’ll survive!

#2 – Moment of truth

It was a hopeless situation – how had things come to this?

All eyes of the crowd were focussed on him, he could feel their gaze burning in to him, as a bead of sweat trickled slowly down the back of his neck.

So much hinged on his answer, and he had no idea whether this would prove to be the worst decision he would ever make.

The pressure was overwhelming.

The man stood before him, repeated the question, in a stern, imperious tone.

He responded, eyes clenched tightly shut.

“I do”

“Then I now pronounce you, husband and wife!”

LIZZIE

Hopeless Conversation

“Mary and Patrick named their daughter Joan. Joan married Anthony and had a baby girl they named Andrea. Andrea partnered Rosie and adopted baby Mary. Mary married Patrick; they had a daughter they named Joan. Joan got married to Anthony and had a baby girl…”
“Wait a second. There’s something wrong with this. Genealogy doesn’t go in circles. If you tell me their baby was called Andrea…”
“No. She was called Hopeless.”
“What a cruel name to give to a child!”
“Not at all. They were… hoping for… less… of a circular family history. Get it?”
“Jeez. What a dumbass.”

JERRY

A Hopeless situation
———————————
I play a lot of tennis: USTA matches several evenings each week, four-hour drill on Friday, and my Saturday Morning Tennis Group of 30 friends. I have several on-line MMOs that I do in the evening with friends that can’t survive any battle without me. My wife has stuff for me to do and then there is my writing. My blog ‘Lucky and Good’ where I write about economics and risk-taking, and of course the 100 Word Challenge. This is really a hopeless situation and sometimes I have to drop something. Sorry Laurence, you lost the coin toss last week.

FYI- I reminded Jerry that I don’t like to be mentioned in the stories, nor do I like meta-stories about trying to write for the podcast.

SERENDIPITY

“Welcome to the Anxiety Helpline – you will now be presented with a number of options, please select a reason for your call”

“If human contact makes you anxious, please hold to speak to an operator”

“If dealing with machines makes you anxious, please press one”

“You have chosen option one. Are you sure that’s the right choice? Press the appropriate key to respond”

“You have selected an incorrect option”

“Please hold”

“You a currently in a queue. Please hold.”

“Please hold”

“I’m sorry. We cannot take your call at the moment – thank you for calling the Anxiety Helpline”

TURA

A Hopeless Situation
——————
After weakening me with red kryptonite, my enemies had pulverised my body with a nuclear explosion, consumed the residue with molecular acid from a hive of xenomorphs, and divided the fuming remains among several nuclear reactors to be dispersed into deep interstellar space.

But Superman laughs at such material inconveniences! With subtle psionic tendrils I began slowly collecting material for a new body, atom by atom, hidden in a place I shall never disclose, lest my enemies in the past discover my words with machines that see the future.

For Superman, there is no such thing as a hopeless situation!

TOM

What Price Your Soul

Feel overwhelmed? Do you wonder it you can go on again day? Well we at Hopeless Situations understand. We feel your pain. Know that the answer does lie in wealth or fame or power. If it did you would have had lawyers, guns and money to get you out of this. No dear friends you are up to your eyeballs in fire ants covered in honey buried in the Texas panhandle. With one simple call to Hopeless Situations the unsurmountable is dissipated. The unresolvable becomes resolute. Our operators are waiting, should you be? Hopeless Situations a J. Faust International Company.

NORVAL JOE

“Bufford,” the agent said pulling her chair close to him. The scent of her perfume filled his head and he felt his reserve begin to crack. “This doesn’t have to be a hopeless situation. Answer a few of our questions so we can know you’ll be straight with us.”
“Play straight with me, and I’ll play straight with you,” Bufford said, leaning away from her. “You haven’t told me who you are, or who you represent.”
“Okay,” she said, sitting up straight. “My name is Aphasia and I work with the Bureau of National Despair. Now. What’s in the box?”

MUNSI

Hopelessness

By Christopher Munroe

When you’re feeling down and out, as though the world were hopeless, remember:

The world was here before you were born, and will remain long after your death. It survived ice ages, comets, mass-extinction-events, global warming and cooling, and through each crisis Earth abides, through each new crisis presented Earth will abide.

Earth will survive any trouble we will throw at it, of this I have no doubt, and it will barely notice your own private problems.

We simply won’t necessarily necessarily survive with it.

The world, my friend, is full of hope.

It is merely WE who are hopeless…

JENNIFER

Jodie arrived just after recess with her mother and the principal in tow. Standing at the doorway, the principal waved our teacher over. They huddled for a moment before he turned back to the class.

“Boys and girls, today will be Jodie’s last day. Why don’t you tell us a little bit about where you’re going and why?”

“Well, my mother and I are moving to the city. My parents had a big fight last night and now they’re getting a divorce.”

I sat, terrified, knowing that my mother was leaving my father next week for the exact same reason.

ZACKMANN

I can explain an equipment malfunction fire but I have to explain a big hole in the wall next to a door. Which will be easier than explaining the trebuchet. I begged my boss not to do what he did but he wanted to save money on heating and cooling as do I but I insisted the last thing you want to do is put a “Keep Door Closed At All Times” sign up in a room full of engineers because a door that may not be opened is a wall. I think I should propose a revolving door policy.

PLANET Z

There she was, passed out on the bed.
Drank too much. Or maybe it was the pills.
I poked her foot.
No response.
I tickled the sole of her foot.
Still no response.
She was breathing.
I turned her on to her side so if she threw up, she wouldn’t choke on her vomit.
I stayed up all night reading.
Well, most of the night.
I must have fallen asleep.
The campus police woke me up.
Someone had attacked her before I found her.
And thought I did it.
He wore a condom. No DNA.
No good deed, I suppose.

Welcome to the 100 Word Stories podcast at oneadayuntilthedayidie.com.

This is Weekly Challenge, where I post a topic and then challenge you to come up with a 100 word story based on that topic.

We’ve got stories by:

• Jeffrey
• Richard
• Tura Brezoianu
• Lizzie
• Anima
• John Musico
• Serendipity
• Zackmann
• Tom
• Munsi
• Norval Joe
• Planet Z

JEFFREY

The Stoolie
by Jeffrey Fischer

Young Vinnie burst into the capo’s office. “The cops busted Joey,” he said, gasping for breath. The capo thought about this. “Joey’s solid. He won’t sing.”

Tony, the outfit’s lieutenant, said, “I dunno, boss. Joey’s looking at serious time, and he knows a lot about this organization. What if he cuts a deal?”

“Good point,” replied the capo. “I hate to lose Joey, but better not to take a chance. Vinnie, when he’s sprung from the joint on bail, outfit him with cement overshoes.”

Vinnie looked confused. “You got it, boss. But how are cement overshoes gonna keep Joey from singing? His voice ain’t in his feet.”

The capo wondered how much inbreeding had gone on in Vinnie’s family. “Don’t ask questions, just do it.”

Doing Time
by Jeffrey Fischer

When the police caught Big Johnny red-handed, he knew better than to sing. He kept quiet, was convicted, and sent to Sing Sing for five to ten. Big Johnny found himself sharing a cell with pro golfer Vijay Singh, who had run afoul of immigration laws. Vijay heard Big Johnny sing in the shower – Johnny was a natural tenor but an occupational accident made him more of a soprano – and suggested they form a quartet with Fingers LeGrande and an overweight female guard named Lulu. Their performance was a great success with the cons, who applauded what they thought was the last number and started to leave.

“Wait!” Big Johnny implored. “We still have one more number to go. Everyone knows it ain’t over ’til the fat lady sings. Take it away, Lulu.”

RICHARD

Rock ‘n’ Roll

Ringo was always my favourite Beatle – I mean, playing the drums is cool anyway, but the guy had balls too. Let’s face it, he couldn’t really sing, so when you hear his rough and ready tones on Sgt Pepper with the question, “What would you think if I sang out of tune?”, it’s an in-your-face challenge to which there’s really no answer.

It’s an inspirational moment – one that made me, and thousands like me think we could be as famous as The Beatles too.

Unfortunately, I really couldn’t sing in tune.

Or play the drums.

Or the guitar.

Ah well.

TURA

Sing
———
The musical artificer is famous for his mechanical birds. They are made with the preserved syrinxes and throat-parts of captured birds, animated by bellows and exquisite clock-work, to exalt their song above even their voice in life.

The most withdrawn room of his residence presents his greatest creations to his most discreet clients: simulacra of the finest human voices, the opera singers of living memory.

And when the latest star of the opera was found murdered in the street, her throat brutally torn out, those clients wondered only which of them might become the fortunate owner of her preserved voice.

LIZZIE

Singing and dancing in the rain was not his thing. However, he was tempted to do it anyway just to ruin his damn shoes, a birthday gift from his girlfriend. Anticipating something as catastrophic as a pair of bright orange shoes, he had told her not to get him anything. She insisted and the result was… catastrophic. When the weather got worse, all he could think of was singing and dancing in the rain. When he returned home with ruined shoes and a well-rehearsed guilty look, she broke up with him. Hah! She knew him all too well, didn’t she?

ANIMA

Hallelujah!

What was that?

Handel’s beatific chorus rose from Claire’s chest, startling her boyfriend. They were still figuring out each others’ secrets, and there was much left to learn.

That’s my heart, singing for joy when you said you loved me.

Does that happen often?

It is my special superpower – whenever I feel an upwelling of emotion, my heart sings.

Strong emotions get different songs, like “Happy” by Pharell Williams, or a gut wrenching Tori Amos medley. But, if you try to adjust the “tuning knobs” when she thumps out “Brown Chicken, Brown Cow”, I will break all your fingers.

JOHN MUSICO

John
Sing

Professor Tenacio, marine biologist, studying the songs of Grey Humpback whales, couldn’t quite place his finger on a sense of familiarity.
He applied scientific method to the query. Basics. Evolution. The most direct descendants of dinosaurs to this day are birds from which other species, including mammals, are derived. Birds sing, as do mammalian whales.
He manipulated a whale song recording in a myriad of ways. It was that at several fold speed; the singing of humpbacks was identical to the songs of modern days birds. THAT was the haunting subliminal association he made, way back when this project began.

SERENDIPITY

Grandmother used to keep canaries in a small gilded cage. I would tell her it was cruel to imprison them, but she’d hear nothing of it.

“Of course they’re happy”, she’d protest, “just listen to them sing”

Those birds certainly could sing, and though it broke my heart to hear them, grandmother was far too stubborn to give in to my pleas to free them.

“Listen to them sing”, she said.

So I listened.

And this was their song:

“Go into the kitchen,

and find the big sharp knife;

Plunge it deep into her chest,

and end her worthless life!”

ZACKMANN

We paid the manager then entered a portal into a new dimension. We were separated so I started to sing hoping she would hear. Monsters appeared all around me. I journeyed to a castle in the distance. Finally, I reunite with my sister who tells me we are in a world in which magic is based on musical ability. She became an elven princess when I nearly got eaten by orcs. Just my luck that when she sings it sounds like the curly haired Marx brother playing the harp but when I sing it sounds like Jack Benny playing violin.

“Can you pick me up from the BART train station tomorrow? I have an audition for a singing part.” said Dylan.

“Sure, just call me before you leave the city.” replied his father.

“You may have read the story the play is based on.”

“One of Stephen Kings?”

“No, it is a musical play based on Paul Cooley’s story Mimes. I’m singing Mimes Mimes Mimes for my audition. Does a musical based on Mimes seem odd to you?” asked Dylan

“No, I loved the musical audio drama version sponsored by Pondie’s Wieners brand all beef frankfurters and break a leg.”

TOM

With a glory in His bosom that transfigures you and me

He sang the body electric, turned the head and heart of a Dublin lad. In greater devotion to his mentor he created a beautiful monster. Some say Henry Irving was the inspiration for the Vampire, but I give you the following that more correctly points to Whitman both had long white hair, a heavy moustache, great height and strength, and a leonine bearing. Further, Dracula is the only character who speaks with a sense of rhythm, parallelism, and balance that is characteristic of Whitman. Stoker’s siren song of death singing through the ages. The armies of those I love engirth me.

MUNSI

Singing

By Christopher Munroe

Writing out a story

Singing what I’m doing

The prompt this week is sing and

So sing I’m going to do

Writing prompts in song now

This song won’t be long now

Can’t we get along now

I can, how ‘bout you?

I’m moving through the middle

Middle of the song

Yes this is the middle

Middle of the song

Moving toward the finish

Hope you like what I’ve written

But trust me; if you didn’t

I don’t even care

Taking this prompt meta

A little private joke-ey

What can you expect from me

When you make you prompt “Sing?”

NORVAL JOE

Bufford sat at the table, the collection chamber in front of him, his hands folded in his lap.
“What’s in the box, Mr. Picklehacker,” the agent said, leaning one hand on the table and brushing back her long blonde hair with the other. She licked her luscious lips. “We weighed it. It’s heavy–heavier than it should be.”
Bufford shrugged his shoulders and shook his head.
She slammed her hand down on the table. “We have ways to make you sing.”
“I could sing, Sweet Heart,” he said in his best Humphrey Bogart. “But that doesn’t mean you’d recognize the song.”

PLANET Z

Before every major sports event, someone performs the national anthem.
Some do it well. And some don’t.
Oh, sure, some singers try to ham it up, and they look stupid doing it.
Or they forget the lyrics, and refuse to use the words on the scoreboard as a prompter.
The strangest I’ve ever seen was a man on a theremin and a woman using wine glasses.
It sounded really cool, until the woman spilled a wine glass on to the theremin and electrocuted them both.
Always use surge protectors, wear rubber boots, and ponder learning how to play the violin.