Weekly Challenge #447 – Bank

Welcome to the 100 Word Stories podcast at oneadayuntilthedayidie.com.

This is Weekly Challenge, where I post a topic and then challenge you to come up with a 100 word story based on that topic: BANK

We’ve got stories by:

The next 100 word stories weekly challenge is on the topic of COMMUNITY. Scroll up and click on Weekly Challenge to learn how to join us!

Tinny and Java

JOHN MUSICO

I Rest On The Banks of Lullaby River
by John Musico

On the soft mossy banks of Lullaby River is where I yearned to be,
golden sunshine glows always on those warm banks, as the reeds sway ever so slow, and peacefully
On the soft mossy banks of Lullaby River is where I yearned to be,
time stands still, all one need do is breathe the sweet scent from nearby gardenias, which bloom eternally.
On the soft mossy banks of Lullaby River is where I yearned to be,
the babbling of the brook is as children laughing gleefully.
On the soft mossy banks of Lullaby River is where they buried me….

The Birth of Chase Bank

Young Chase marveled at his financial genius.
He shared his idea with his father.
I ask everyone to give me all their money. And, I charge them a fee for doing so. I invest it. If I profit, the money is mine. What do you think, not bad eh?
The father scoffed; “That’s absurd young man, why would anyone agree to such a foolish thing?”
The son continued. I will construct a huge vault patrolled by armed guards. I can’t be robbed so neither could they”. The father reflected; “Hmm, maybe you got something there son.” Chase bank was born.

MUNSI

On the Process of Memory

By Christopher Munroe

Every moment of my life, everything that matters, every face and name, good time and bad, everything I do still need to know.

The moments that, as a whole, have made me “Me”, and all I’ve learned and lived and loved and done, each thing I’ve wanted, every failure and success, every thing I’ve tried to do…

…I keep them near me at all times, close to me, dear to me, easily at hand should the time come when I need them, at my fingertips.

They’re spray-painted across the very walls of this fine city.

For I… Am Memory Banksey!!!

ANIMA

-Pennies from Heaven_

Mama! Mama! It’s raining pennies from heaven!
I swear girl, what an imagination you have!
It’s true, on my honour! – Can’t you hear it hitting the roof?
That’s just the rain. Make sure you put on your boots and raincoat if you go out to play. The last thing I need is you catching cold.
Jilly dutifully pulled on her boots – and grabbed the biggest bag she could find.
Outside, she not only picked up the pennies, but the dimes and quarters too. Moist change sparkled everywhere.
She laughed, splashing happily in puddles as made her way to the bank.

JEFFREY

Undertow
by Jeffrey Fischer

The river was swollen with recent rain and the current was strong. The path along the riverbank was peaceful, however, and she walked alone in quiet contemplation. One step was all it would take. One step into the raging river, to be caught in the undertow and from there carried to oblivion. The darkness could have her.

Yet she kept walking, one step and then another. She didn’t know where this path would end, and some small spark in her mind needed to know. The darkness would always be there. The undertow could wait for another day.

The Heist
by Jeffrey Fischer

Frank said, “Okay, guys, just one more explosive charge and we’re all set.” The robbers had tunneled into the basement of the bank and worked most of the night. They blew the vault open and the gang moved in.

But the C4 did more than destroy the steel vault. Mortar fell from the ceiling and support pillars began crumbling. Soon the entire bank had collapsed. Frank’s last thought was that it was often easier to get into a bank than out of one.

RICHARD

#1 – George’s Story – Part 79: Security booth

George didn’t make it to intensive care – he was sidetracked en route by a flickering glow from a small anteroom: a security booth, with a bank of still-functioning monitors covering one wall.

He became pretty excited at this find – if nothing else, he could keep safe here tonight and keep an eye on his surroundings without leaving the safety of the room.

Then he noticed the labels beneath each screen, describing the camera locations. One set in particular caught his attention: four views neatly labelled ‘Beta 1’ to ‘Beta 4’.

His heart raced – he was finally on to something!

#2 – Sperm Bank

My first visit to the sperm bank wasn’t a resounding success – firstly, they insisted on an appointment… “Can’t I just give my deposit to one of your girls?”, I asked? Apparently not.

I enquired what sort of interest I could expect, only to receive a hard stare and be told they had no interest in my deposit – it’s strictly business they said.

But I really upset them when I asked about withdrawing at short notice… perhaps to splash out on the girlfriend, for her birthday?

They escorted me from the premises.

So I’m saving it in a biscuit tin instead.

CHELSEA

Bank

We put all kinds of things in banks. Money no surprise there, but other things too. They are the best place to hid things you don’t want others to find. Your deepest darkest secrets locked away forever or your most precious items safeguarded for the next generation for a nominal fee.

We also store other more unusual things in banks and interestingly enough, not usually for ourselves. Blood banks and organ banks are used to store things for others that we have donated either willingly or posthumously.

Makes me wonder when banks acquired so many levels and so much power.

TOM

Fire Boss

Rudy released the payload into the canyon. He had to bank hard left to put the plane on the fire line. To get out of the canyon he had to bank hard right to top the edge of the fire. Then a final bank to compensate the effect of the lake directly below. On pass 13 over the wild fire one banking brushed the tree line, set the wing a blaze, the only safe place to dig the plane was the lake. The AT-802 disappear into the water as the fire creased the ridge and burnt to the short line.

First we kill all the bankers
Once a upon a time I wrote a check for $20. Unfortunately a balance of $19 caused an overdraft charge of $20. Shame on me. There was no longer any money in the account so I went to the merchant and gave him a $20 bill, then went to the bank paid for a stop payment on the check, $20 for the overdraft and another $20 to have some padding in the account. The teller promised me the new balance and cancelation would be posted before reconciliation. Three days later I got yet another $20 overdraft because of a rounding error and the second submit on the check they failed to do a stop payment. The fucking postage stamp on the letter was more that the difference in the balance. I called the main branch to seek satisfaction, they told me I could file a claim that would cost, you guessed it, $20 to process. That evening I glued a 20 cent stamp on to a brick and sent it through a $1000 of plate glass at the main branch of the bank. Was it wrong, yes. Was it transcendently satisfying, yes. Would I do it again, in a heartbeat.

LIZZIE

The remodeling of the offices was finished after two long months. The employees coughed their way through heavy dust; many continued to suffer for months. When one of them, Charles, fell ill, no one was surprised. As soon as Charles returned to work, they noticed that he could breathe much better. They asked him if he could help them. Charles never told them directly what he did, but he muttered “I’ll help you,” whipping off a bit of saliva from the corner of his mouth. In the end, remodeling didn’t stop at the offices; the staff got remodeled as well.

SERENDIPITY

I planned the bank raid meticulously – months of careful planning, intensive observation and in-depth research were about to come together.

Everything was going perfectly to plan: alarm safely disabled and security locks defeated, I was about to achieve my goal.

A cold draught escaped the vault, as the door slowly swung open and there, inside was the treasure I’d come to find.

No gold, silver or banknotes to be found in this vault – for this was a different sort of bank…

All the fresh, healthy, human blood I could ever wish for… gallons of the lovely liquid!

SPATE

First Seraphim Savings Bank

Are you tired of trying to live the chaste life of a saint in hopes of a
happy hereafter?

Do you find yourself uncomfortable leaving your personal salvation in the
hands of some remote third party?

Well, here at First Seraphim Savings Bank you can deposit your soul in one
of our hermetically sealed, climate controlled, Satan proof vaults and go
party like the devil with full confidence that when it’s time to move
towards that big bright white light, your record will be clean as a whistle.

First Seraphim Savings Bank: we keep souls sinless with interest.

Member FDIC.

ZACKMANN

Guido and Nunzi sat on the bank in front of the credit union just watching the river flow and listening to JG Banks and Jen discuss the latest bank heist movie on Talk Nerdy 2 Me waiting for the food bank to open. A gross of Spam cans had fallen of a truck and Guido wished to make a deposit as long as they didn’t ask too many questions. People mysteriously disappeared if asking too many questions around Guido or if considering answering the wrong questions in court. Nobody know why. Just ask anyone. You can bank on their silence.

DIONYSIUS

Stay Hungry

They skirted the range of trees bounding the mountain of waste. The usual bank of clouds in the west. No one knew what it meant. A movement made them stop.

He remembered standing beside a mound of iced crab legs. He’d convinced Lisa that afternoon with the line that it might be their last chance. Ever. She couldn’t focus, though. A refugee to the midwest.

He could see them now. The yell — that was their sign to eat.

He often remembered the almost empty room with the crab legs, and the line they’d always used: All this is for you. Stay hungry.

LADY BLUE

(Last week’s)

Physical Attraction
by Blue berry

I love your eyes. Large, glistening white orbs with the most brilliant cerulean blue irises that stare at me from out of their glass container. Aren’t you glad we switched from formaldehyde to vodka my sweet? They preserve that blue so well.

I love your heart. Strong, shapely, and not a single blockage anywhere that I could see. You took very good care of it, didn’t you, love?

Most of all, I love your brain – your raised, perfectly formed gyri, separated by the delicate indentations of sulci. Took me forever to take it out of you. Until you stopped moving.

(This week’s)

Bank Heist Gone Wrong
by the true Blue

I took out the driver with the sack of pennies that I had stolen from the bank. Who knew that the force of the impact would shatter his skull and render him rather incapacitated.

So incapacitated, that he keeled over onto the steering wheel, which, from his weight, spun to the left. It sent our bus careening into the path of an oncoming truck that had been carrying a load of fat, chubby….aliens? Wait. ZOMBIE killer aliens!

Okay, how about this…

…careening into the path of a..

-looking out my window- Dodge caravan?

Well, balls! I hate writer’s block.

NORVAL JOE

Dergle and the Crazy Old Cat Lady were escorted from the small waiting room down a long passage to another room. It was dark and light from the doorway shown upon a few wooden chairs in the center of the room.
“Sit,” Garbage Man told them and closed the door, leaving them in total darkness.
On the wall in front of them a bank of monitors lit up showing video and still images captured by closed circuit TV’s.
Half of the monitors had images of Dergle. However, what was truly frightening, was many of the images were from months before.

TURA

Bank
——–
At first, people traded favours on credit, remembering who owed what. Then they used pieces of gold to keep track. Then they stored the gold in banks, and traded pieces of paper saying what gold they had. Then they got rid of the gold and just traded the paper. Then computers were invented and they got rid of the paper. Then the internet was invented and now a bank isn’t even something you can see.

So how about we go back to trading favours? You hand over that Rolex, and I won’t shoot you. You can’t say fairer than that!

PLANET Z

There used to be these organizations called blood banks that processed and stored human blood for emergencies. But now that universal blood substitute can be manufactured as needed, the blood banks went away.

Same with organ transplant lists. Bioprinters took care of that desperate and difficult need.

Everything is digital credit these days, so financial banks are all on the net, staffed by artificial intelligence and managed by just a few humans here and there as per government regulations.

The only banks I know are growing are solar array banks. To power the AI masters.

Until we smash them all.

Fighting

I heard a scream through the wall.
My apartment neighbors are fighting again.
I put on my headphones.
As loud as the music is, I still hear the screams.
Should I go over there to see what they’re doing?
Nah.
Instead, I call the pizzeria down the street and order a pizza for them.
Yeah, this won’t help the situation at all.
Good.
The sooner they kill each other, the quicker I can get my friend to move in next door.
It’s a thousand bucks for a referral.
Maybe I shouldn’t do this…
I call again.
Ten pizzas.
That’ll work!

Chili

Jenny thought that God would save her from Jimmy, but the harder she prayed for a miracle, the worse Jimmy beat her.
So, one day, she put rat poison in the chili she cooked for dinner.
Jimmy came home from work, and without saying hello or anything, began to eat.
Jenny watched him, waiting for Jimmy to clutch his throat and die.
“Quit starin at me,” said Jimmy, and he took a knife and stabbed her with it.
Up in Heaven, Jenny asked God what the fuck happened.
“I did send a miracle,” said God. “I neutralized the rat poison.”

Bill Murray

Groundhog’s Day is a movie where Bill Murray plays a jackass weatherman who gets stuck covering the Punxsutawney Phil shadow ceremony.
He goes through the day over and over until he gets his shit straight and he wins the heart of his producer.
There was talk of a sequel: Valentine’s Day, where he and the producer-chick hook up for the first time, but something goes horribly wrong, so he has to live that day over and over again until he gets it right.
To me, that sounds like a plot for a perfectly good porno movie.

The asshole in the past

If I had a time machine, I’d go back in time to when I was 20 years old and slap myself silly for being such an asshole.
Of course, back then I was such an asshole, I’d shoot anybody that threatened me. So I’d have shot anyone slapping me around.
Right. Wear a bulletproof vest?
No. I’d shoot the dude in the face. A bulletproof vest doesn’t cover the face.
Wait… shooting the dude in the face?
The dude is me.
Well, future me.
Maybe I shouldn’t do the time machine thing.
And just leave that asshole in the past.

Shut the fuck up, you’re rocking the boat

I dreamt last night I was on the boat to Heaven.
Some dude stood up and shook dice at me.
“What are you, some kind of D&D freak?” I said “Sit down.”
The guy then pulled a bottle of whiskey out of his jacket and offered it to me.
“Dude, this boat’s already got me seasick. Put that away and sit down.”
He frowned, and that’s when a great big wave hit.
I shoved him overboard, took the bottle, and drank it.
Someone told me to sit down.
I told them to shut the fuck up.
Sanctimonious little prick.

Pike’s Peak

For the life of me, I don’t remember where Pike’s Peak is.
I could Google it, but that takes effort. I’d have to close this window, open another, and then type it in.
Thank goodness for my iPhone. I can just hold the button down, ask Siri where Pike’s Peak is, and I’ll know the answer.
Siri shows me Pike’s Peak of Texas, a floral shop that’s up the Inner Loop, near the Northwest Freeway.
Shit.
Where is the mountain Pike’s Peak?
Siri responds with a vague map with a red dot in… Colorado? Nevada?
I’ll just fucking Google it.

Brain (by John Musico)

What Does a Brain Feel Like?
By John Musico

In formaldehyde, a brain is rubbery, but its normal consistency is more like Jello. Why then, when you smack your head; “I coulda had a V8”- don’t you get immediate significant brain damage? The answer lays in an ingenious design…
Your brain is floating in fluid inside your skull. Your brain is hollow which is also filled with fluid.
Much like a raft in a pool on a cruise ship; when the ship (analogous to your head) leans one way in the ocean; the water in the swimming pool tilts the other, such that the raft (your brain) remains motionless.

Weekly Challenge #446 – Brain

Welcome to the 100 Word Stories podcast at oneadayuntilthedayidie.com.

This is Weekly Challenge, where I post a topic and then challenge you to come up with a 100 word story based on that topic: BRAIN

We’ve got stories by:

The next 100 word stories weekly challenge is on the topic of BANK. Scroll up and click on Weekly Challenge to learn how to join us!

Tinny got pizza

MUNSI

The Perfect Team

By Christopher Munroe

We’re the perfect team, if you think about it.

Me, the brains, you, the one doing what I say without question.

In fact, maybe you shouldn’t bother thinking about it.

Take my word for it.

We’re the perfect team.

And, once this day is over, thanks to you, I’ll be rich.

You’ll be either dead or imprisoned and, upon questioning, you’ll realize I never even gave you my name.

But that’s not important right now.

What’s important is that you trust me, and do what I say without question.

That’s the way this team works.

Got it?

Good.

Let’s roll…

JEFFREY

Smart Alec
by Jeffrey Fischer

Alec was the smartest kid in his sixth-grade class, the biggest brain. Everyone knew that, even the new kids. In fact, if new kids didn’t hear it from some other source, Alec told them himself. After all, what was the point of being the smartest kid if no one else knew?

Despite his brains – and did Alec mention how bright he was? Oh, he did. Good – one thing baffled him: why did so many of his classmates seem so unappreciative of his genius and keep being the snot out of him?

Ice Breaker
by Jeffrey Fischer

He kept the brain in a formaldehyde-filled jar on his desk, a real conversation piece. Guests would invariably comment on the unusual decoration and ask how he came by it. His stock reply: “Oh, I killed the last visitor to ask that question and dissected him.” Both he and the visitor would have a good laugh, breaking the ice.

Reducing tension in the room also made it easier to catch the visitor off guard. He preferred slipping poison into a drink, as it left the brain intact. He would take the body to the basement, remove the brain, and burn the rest. Then the new brain would occupy the place of honor, and the old would join the others on a basement shelf.

RICHARD

#1 – George’s Story – Part 78: Brainstorm

Concerned the daylight hours were passing, and with night drawing on, the knowledge that he’d be spending the night alone in the hospital weighed heavy on his mind.

“Use your brain George… think!”, he commanded himself.

Sluggishly the word ‘brain’ wandered around his mind until it collided with the word ‘coma’, followed by, ‘concussion’.

Of course! He’d sustained a head injury… what if he’d been elsewhere in the hospital, before he was admitted to the ward?

What if there was information he’d not yet found?

Once again he found himself trawling the corridors, now with a new goal – Intensive Care.

#2 – Dangerous

If I had a brain, I’d be dangerous! At least, that’s what my teachers used to tell me.

I was pretty sure I did have a brain, but I certainly wasn’t dangerous – couldn’t be further from the truth. I was one of the nice guys, completely inoffensive and affable.

Until the accident.

After cutting me from the wreckage, what was left of my body was useless, so the doctors took the decision to transplant my brain.

Now it forms the neural core of the global tactical weapons network.

I am very dangerous.

I guess my teachers were right, after all.

#3 – Decisions, decisions

Pity the poor octopus… with a brain in each tentacle even simple decisions have eight possible outcomes! It’s not uncommon for the poor mollusc to get into huge arguments with itself over the most straightforward decisions: things like what channel to watch on television, or where to go for coffee.

Occasionally, it can result in an eight-sided punch-up – never a pretty sight!

Poor octopus… but it could be much worse.

Pity the poor sea slug, for example: with a mouth that’s also its arse!

(Coming to think of it, I know a few people with that problem too!)

CHELSEA

Brain

The human brain as we understand it can be identified at 9 weeks into gestation.

From that point on it is responsible for every single thing that happens within your body up until the moment of death. Everything.

Really think about that for a second….

Every breath you take, every blink of your eyes, every word you speak, every sensation and emotion you feel and action you take both anises and unconscious is controlled by your brain. There is not a single thing you will ever do that is not controlled by your brain.

It is the ultimate big brother!

ANIMA

The president had not done a good job controlling the epidemic; there were only pockets in remote areas that appeared to be getting on. Rural Idaho was surviving: preppers there had been on high alert forever.
He took in as many governmental refugees as possible, but the reality was DC had been easy prey. He doubted they would survive much longer.
Absentlymindedly, he scratch a tick bite. The White House was infested with rats and other vermin, since basic services halted more than 4 months ago.
2 thoughts crossed his mind: “Damn, I am thirsty” and, “Let them eat Brains.”

LIZZIE

Cal unscrewed the cables and unplugged them. Then he pressed “detach”. He had been taught well. He was never to touch the “reset” area, that small circle the size of a coin.

Many failed to obey and didn’t resist temptation. They touched it. Now, they were beyond repair, doomed to perform menial tasks.

Cal was proud of himself. He always did everything right. He removed his brain and placed it inside the upgrade box. He didn’t like the looks of the new technician though …

After Cal got his brain back, he was placed in the Sanitation Department. Damn smug….bzzzzzt…

SERENDIPITY

“I ate his liver with some fava beans, and a nice chianti…”

Such a fantastic line! And, being a gastronomic daredevil, I had to try it!

Sadly, it didn’t work out all that well – I overcooked the beans, and the liver was just a little tough for my liking. Perhaps it was my cooking, but things never quite turn out like in the movies.

Next time I’m thinking of trying that scene from ‘Hannibal’ – the one where Lecter cooks pieces of Krendler’s brain and feeds them to him.

How about lunch, next Sunday?

And, of course, you’ll be my guest.

TOM

Unlikely to Succeed

He was a brain. Wasn’t always. Didn’t get good at math till his 30’s. Overcame both Dyslexia and ADD through the focused maturity only age can produce. Tutored a generation of nursing students in the finer points of Algebra. He was able to memorize a 1000 digits of Pi. Could do the derivation of the Quadratic Formula in Klingon. Wrote a paper on a new algorithm for multiplication and discover a class of regular concave polyhedron base on odd sided polygons. If you asked him how he got so competent, he’d tell you it was through sure brute force.

TURA

Brain
——–
It is a rule that the more fiendishly clever the plans of an evil genius, the more surely a five-year-old could spot their fatal flaws. Brainiac therefore recruited Dummiac, a human with the superpower of being five years old. Thereafter, Brainiac would not attempt any fiendish plan that failed the Dummiac test.

Brainiac and Dummiac together were unstoppable, and would have taken over the entire Multiverse, had not Dummiac tripped over his shoelaces and prematurely detonated Brainiac’s superweapon. The Justice League soon captured Brainiac, and imprisoned him on a planet where no five-year-old was allowed to approach within a light-year.

DIO

BrainPlugs

I remember I think I remember brains before BrainPlugs. Not as orderly as circumspect as but then we have learned to remember the effort to remember. Many were sceptical qv I was about this is science. Infinite insight infinite information your brain on science Plug In! today. Priced for everyone models priced for upgrade we came out of solus ipse qv for upgrade for upgrade for upgrade os error brain restart brain restarted I remember brains before BrainPulpPlugs Plugs memory error not remembering I remember science your brain on science I remember not remembering information words I remember epiphany qv.

The Brains Behind Pa

Ma always reminded us that she was the brains behind Pa whenever Pa did something stupid. She took credit for the smart things as well, so we concluded that Pa was her puppet.

But that only made us start to doubt Ma. If she was the brains behind Pa, why didn’t she do a better job? We came to suspect some kind of mental defect, probably inherited, in ourselves.

The inevitable question was, had we inherited this defect solely from Ma, partly from Pa, or from both? And, if the last, were we somehow even more defective than either Pa or Ma? Mentally deficient puppets, if that made sense.

Brain in a Vat

At first, Angel couldn’t believe he was her match. She admitted it was nice not to worry about him always trying to touch her. Touching was simply annoying.

She even came to understand why the brain is the largest erogenous zone. Darryl was all brain. But he mostly preferred staying home in his vat. He could travel anywhere there.

Secretly, Angel began to fantasize tumbling down a hill, bicycle crashes, bodies pressing down on her uncomfortably. Darryl remained content, even in the back of a closet under a bag of sweaters. Angel grew skeptical of life and eventually sold everything, including Darryl, in an apartment sale.

NORVAL JOE

The door to the room where Dergle sat swung open and an elderly woman hobbled in. Stoop shouldered, grey haired and chunky, she smiled, but her eyes seemed wildly evil.
Dergle stood and offered her the one chair while Long John’s hackles rose and he growled.
“Sorry, Ma’am,” Dirgle said. “I don’t know what’s gotten into him.”
“It’s okay,” she cackled. “He probably just smells my cats on me.”
“Oh,” Dergle said. “Are you the Cat Woman?”
“You’re obviously not the brains of this organization. I have more than fifty cats in my apartment.” I’m the Crazy Old Cat Lady.”

PLANET Z

I know a few jokers who have asked people to show up at their funeral dressed in a black robe and skeleton mask while carrying a scythe.
However, I’m worried that more than one person would show up as The Grim Reaper.
You know, because it would make kids wonder if The Grim Reaper is real.
Just like seeing more than one Santa Claus messing up the magic of Christmas for them.
I’d rather show up dressed as Igor, with a shovel and an organ transport cooler.
“Brains? Nah, Master has enough of those. I’m here for the open bar.”