We use a large wide clear glass bowl as a water bowl for the cats.
If I lay on the floor next to it, I can watch them drink, their tongues curling and flicking water into their mouths. Stopping, glancing at me over the side, recognition, ear twitching, wary.
And starting again, drinking, not looking at me at all.
Then, finished, a drip of water still on their chin, licked away, a head shake, turn to me, staring, an ear tilted back, then both, confused, ears forward, tail up, and walking away down the hall away away away and gone.
Tag: cats
Kolaches For Cats
While heading to work, I stop by the park and give treats to the feral cats who live in a maintenance shed under a bridge.
Other people give them food, too, but they really like the treats. They’ll stop eating from their plates and come out to grab treats.
I feel bad when I forget the treats, so I stop by the donut shop and pick up a kolache, tear out the rolled-up strip of turkey from it, and toss pieces to the cats.
They chase down the bits of meat and eat happily.
And then I head into work.
Black Cats
Most black cats I’ve known get named Midnight or Blackie. Or Shadow.
We named ours Bruwyn and Myst.
Bruwyn is short for Bruce Wayne, because his ears are pointy and tall like Batman’s cowl.
Myst was called Michelle, but we don’t like Obama much in our house, so she got renamed Myst because she likes to hide and she’s easily missed.
Well, when I say we named our cats, I really mean my wife.
She got naming rights on both of these cats.
I call them Boo Boo and Baby.
Or “Get in here, you little shits!” when it’s dinnertime.
Barf
Cats throw up now and then.
As they get older, they throw up more often.
And they sometimes miss the litterbox.
But if they’re pooping, at least it means they’re keeping some food down, right?
Either way, I’m the one who gets to pick up the mess, scrub the carpet, and then spray a cloud of deodorizer.
Kittens should come with a warning label:
WARNING
One day, this kitten will become a cat.
And that cat will become an old cat.
And old cats make a lot of nasty, smelly messes.
But, in spite of that, you’ll still love it.
Tails
Some people eat crawdads from the bucket and toss the shells on their tray.
Other people dump out the crawdads on to their tray and put the empty shells back into the bucket.
“It’s cleaner that way,” they say. “You’re putting the trash back into the bucket.”
Except that all the juices pour out on to the tray when you dump out the bucket.
Which is right?
To me, It doesn’t matter how I shuck the crawdads and where I toss the shells, as long as I save a few tails to bring home.
(Nardo loves the smelly little things.)
Target Cat
Nardo is a classic ginger tabby cat.
His coat is two different shades of orange in a swirling pattern.
On either side, it looks like he’s got some kind of target.
Well, it looked like.
He’s sixteen years old, and what he hasn’t licked out from his coat, he’s worn out.
Still, when he’s curled up on the bed with his “good” side facing up, I can still see the target on his side.
I reach down to pet him on the target.
His eyes open slowly…
And he bites my hand.
Yeah, the little furry bastard still has it.
Form
The neighborhood no-kill animal shelter has a form to fill out that they give out to people looking to adopt a cat.
The clerk hands me a clipboard and a pen, and I sit down in the lobby.
Two hours later, I hand the clipboard back.
The clerk’s eyes go wide as she looks over the form.
Sure, I’ve filled out my name and the details, but every checkbox has meticulously-drawn kittens peeking out from them, and the lines have been turned into unraveling balls of yarn being played with by more kittens.
“You’ll do fine,” says the clerk, smiling.
Ornaments
I’m Jewish, my wife’s a witch, and we put up a tree for the holidays.
I do it because it’s fun, pretty, and the cats like it.
Some cats sleep under the tree.
Others like to burrow into piles of gifts like mountain lions in caves.
And then there’s ones who bite off the plastic needles and barf them up.
Our littlest cat, Myst, likes to pick off the ornaments one by one.
My wife yells at her, but she keeps doing it anyway.
“Why does she keep doing that?”
(Don’t tell her I spray the ornaments in catnip, okay?)
The vet told me he’s dying
My cat is old.
And sick.
And sleeps all day.
I took him to the vet.
The vet told me he’s dying.
I asked the vet what I should do.
Is there any medicine?
Is there any special food?
Is there anything I can do at all? Anything? Please, anything?
The vet told me he’s dying.
What about magnets?
Or crystals? Or pyramids?
Those psychic healers in the Philippines that I’ve seen in documentaries, they sure look interesting, do they work on cats, and how much do they charge?
The vet told me he’s dying.
Clutched his chest.
And died.
When I put your heart in a cage like a bird
When I put your heart in a cage like a bird, I am keeping it from flying away… away…
When I put your heart in a cage like a bird, I am protecting it from the cat’s claws.
When I put your heart in a cage like a bird, I can hear it sing to the breaking dawn.
When I put your heart in a cage like a bird, I can take it to the doctor when it is sick.
When I put your heart in a cage like a bird, I am keeping it from shitting on my furniture.