The Great Deal

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Five billion Zimbabwean dollars sounds like a great deal of money, but it’s worthless.
Due to hyperinflation and three devaluations, what was once on parity with the American dollar became worth just one trillion trillionth of a cent.
Since printing and reprinting that money was impossible, the Zimbabweans went electronic with all payments.
Never mind that many Zimbabweans don’t have access to electricity. And by the time everybody’s pile of paper moved over to the e-banking system, the digit limit was reached and all accounts rolled over.
Now, they use American dollars.
(Which will one day do the same thing.)

Constructive

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We try to focus on constructive criticism in these sessions, Robert.
What’s constructive criticism?
Well, making spelling corrections in somebody’s stories, for one. Or suggesting better words that fit the context.
Dropping your pants and taking a dump on their manuscripts is not constructive criticism.
Nor is throwing your chair and screaming “Shut the fuck up, asshole!” when you don’t like someone’s piece.
What? You actually liked their work?
Then why did you do those horrible things?
Just because?
There’s such a thing as positive criticism, too. And crapping on something or beating someone with a chair still isn’t constructive.

Forget about the dragons

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It is illegal to slay a dragon. Even in self-defense.
Sure, there are no dragons in England anymore, but the law is the law, and it’s still illegal to slay dragons.
So when HM Revenue saw “Dragonslayer” on my return, I was picked up for questioning.
“Don’t you know that it’s illegal to slay dragons?” said the agent.
“There aren’t any dragons anymore,” I said. “There’s none left to slay.”
At that point, they handcuffed me and read me my rights.
“Why are you arresting me?” I said.
“You just couldn’t stop, could you?” they said. “You killed them all!”

Round, sort of

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It looks round, but in reality its a little squashed at the top and bottom.
Okay, so there’s no top or bottom on a round object, but we’re defining them based on its rotational axis.
Even though it’s round to your eyestalks and mine, sensors are what the Chief Ambassador relies on, and that’s saying it’s not round.
“The rule is for ignoring asteroids and rocky moons,” I protested. “This is the first planet we’ve found that’s inhabited in our survey sweep.”
“A rule’s a rule,” said the Chief Ambassador. “Let’s move on.”
We set course, and leave Earth behind.

Teaspoon

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The aliens don’t like water.
And for good reason. All it takes is just a little water to kill them. A teaspoon.
Walking around outside without an environment suit is like torture.
This is why it’s so important to keep them under guard around the clock.
People can be such jerks.
Tearing off a suit, knocking an alien into the water.
The worst was when some joker hacked the fire suppression system in the alien embassy.
The United Nations buildings ignored fire codes, but not the embassy.
That’s how the war started… and the oceans, rivers and lakes slowly vanished.

Weekly Challenge #213 – Flying Island and World Builders

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Welcome to the Weekly Challenge Number Two Hundred and Thirteen, where I post a topic and then challenge you to come up with a 100 word story based on that topic.
The topic this week was… was…. um…
It’s Flying Island and World Builders!
VOTING

Which were the best stories this week?
Steven
Brand
Jeffrey
Terrence
Zackmann
Norval Joe
TJ
Anima
Justin
Planet Z
  
Free polls from Pollhost.com


Go ahead and listen to them and then vote for your favorites (multiple selections are allowed):


Steven

As a child I read illustrated books about asteroid starships. I
dreamed of living in generation ships – islands of humanity in the
void. And now I do.
A cylinder is our artificial sun. Fields of grains feed us and
replenish our oxygen. The asteroid’s spin provides gravity. Imagine
a multiracial Rockwell painting in space. We’ll make a new world like
in the books.
The books left out the undead horde writhing over the planet we left
behind. The other ships have already succumbed, signals vanishing
after a few transmitted screams.
Our ship is uninfected.
But oh God, am I hungry.

Brand

Justin crouched on the edge of the cliff, hugging his knees and
wishing for wind. The warm, quiet nothing made his skin tingle with
unfulfilled expectation. He kicked a rock off the cliff, watching it
spin and fall into the dark nothing.
A passing light caught the rock as it fell. It spun around the light,
thick moss growing on the rock. Justin stood quickly, “No. Wait! I
didn’t want that!” But it was too late. The rock was soon covered in
moss, then people, buildings, doubt, rage, then it blew up with a pop.
Justin sat back down and sighed.

Jeffrey

There’s something to be said for being completely merciless, I’m usually the one to say it, it’s part of my job. I takes old worlds and crushes ’em up so they can go to the world builders to be made new again. I don’t look at who is living in them, ’cause I might start wondering if I’m doing the right thing. Had a young bloke here once that did, he saw one world with flying islands and all. When I smashed ’em, it drove him bonkers. Me I just smash ’em up, and let someone sort it all out.

Terrence

“On screen,” the Captain commanded, “now!” The screen flicked and the image of a large lumpy disk appeared on the screen on a back drop of stars.
“It looks like a flying island.” The helms man said shock in his voice.
“Yes, it does.” The Captain ran his fingers through his short beard. “After all these years of searching I have found it.” He stood and turned to his small three person crew. “This flying island as you call it, is the most important thing in the universe. Some call it the hand of god, it is the world builder.”

Zackmann

Welcome to the show. Please tell the audience your name?
Slartibartfast
Could you tell us about any of your accomplishments?
Fjords, I designed your Norway as you may Know.
Your current project is?
Another planet, my task is a flying island with fjords.
What made you decide to became a world builder?
I hesitate to call myself a world builder because I work for a big company that builds worlds. I would if I built them all by myself.
Sometimes I have to take time off to save the universe but I really rather be making fjords.
Thank You, Slartibartfast

Norval Joe

The audio chimed on sales representative 486’s termianl. She accepted the call and a small holograph of a man appeared above the data processor in front of her. “Thank you for calling World Builders, how may I help you?”
“I need a place to get away. Something that’s out of the way and not very noticable, but not to hard to get to, and not cold?”
“Then, you’d need something in the virtual worlds.”
He laughed, “Would I be building castles in the air if I said, ‘real world?'”
“Forget castles,” she said dryly, “you’d need a whole flying island.”

TJ

Jack and John face off in the cave with all the names. Desmond is bound
and gagged, as per John’s demand. “Is that really necessary?” Jack asked
as John gagged him, but John only shrugged “Your rules.”
Jack placed a white stone on the tray and both he and John waited for
the Golden Balance to level off. John began his transformation into a
Smoke Monster. Jack waved his hand, said “Mustn’t,” and John was
trapped. Jack whipped off Desmond’s gag. “New rule,” Jack said. Desmond
said “Fly!” The island rose into the sky and vanished, along with its
weirdness.

Anima

Napoleon looked peeved; dinner had been lacking. The fish had been cold, the salad warm, and dessert was some globby custard thing. His dabbling in empire and world building was getting the best of him.
“Napoleon, can we talk for once?”
“Josephine, really? I have a lot on my mind. Italy and Austria have shaped up nicely, but Lord Nelson is really nagging me, and I have half a mid to teach those Prussians a lesson.”
“I’ve been trying to tell you, but you only have time for war. I’ve met someone…”
And that’s when the floating island began to fly.

Justin

Captain Joshua activated the inversity fields on the lead tanks. His flying island, Lodestone, ascended above the two leaders. Igniting the magnesium boosters pushed Lodestone forwards over the islands. He hoped the inversity field generator held, otherwise he’d fall too soon and have to break, or risk collision. Lodestone rocked. The leftmost islands had fired weapons, breaching the rules! The generator stuttered. Lodestone descended. Steering left, Joshua released half the iron tanks, smashing the offending island. It sank. Lodestone came into place beside the remaining island. The other captain gave Joshua an OK sign, then the duel to win began.

Planet Z

At first, I thought the business card said “Word Builder Training.”
“It’s World Builder,” said the man in the grey suit. “We build worlds.”
“Seriously?” I asked. “How does one build worlds?”
“Close your eyes,” he said. “And imagine.”
So, I closed my eyes and tried to imagine. Flying islands, majestic rainbows, soft golden clouds.
“Are you imagining a world?” asked the stranger.
“Yes,” I said.
“Now open your eyes.”
I opened my eyes and saw… the café again.
“You’re not a world builder, so you came back.”
“Then make me one.” I signed the check and handed it over.

Mother In Lawless

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The old woman with the gun is my mother-in-law.
But she’s more like a mother-in-lawless.
She breaks into banks with ease, breaking out of jail and nursing homes even easier.
We’re not a close family, but we’re kept under a close watch as hostages. Instead of knitting us sweaters, she keeps us tied up and gagged.
And I don’t drive the getaway car because I’m a part of her gang. I drive it because she’s a horrible driver and her license was revoked by the state.
I’m only doing it to save lives.
Now put the money in the sack.

Cobblestones

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Every night I mark the cobblestones with chalk.
When I wake up, the markings are scattered around the street.
Does someone wipe off the markings and add them in new places or shuffles around the stones?
I tried to set up a video camera, but it’s far too dark. No streetlamp.
I’ve also tried to sit on the steps and watch the street, but I can’t stay up as late as I used to. I fall asleep on the steps.
I wake up, and the chalk marks are gone.
And then, I see myself in the mirror… they’re on me.

Brick Fight

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Why are we throwing bricks at each other?
Because we were having a snowball fight, silly.
One guy decided to play dirty and packed a snowball around mud and threw it.
Mudballs suck.
Then, another guy packed snow around a brick.
Pretty soon, we were tossing bricks at each other.
Now that it’s May, you’d think the fight would be over because all the snow is gone.
But because we’re using bricks, the fight doesn’t have to end.
Maybe we’ll take a break and build some brickmen. Or build up our brickforts.
But that’s boring. Let’s bring on the bricks!

Grow Them Bigger

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“Close your eyes,” said the General. “And cover your ears.”
Seconds later, chunks of bloody, flaming Godzilla rained down on Tokyo.
The General uncovered his ears and opened his eyes.
And smiled.
People all over the city were cheering.
Getting the monster to eat the bomb without damaging it was a challenge.
Sticking pieces of the bomb in dead cow carcasses was the solution.
“They’re smart-assembly components,” said the General. “When they were all inside, they integrated and armed.”
After the cheering, bulldozers pushed Godzilla’s remains into the bay.
Where, slowly and painfully, they started to slide back together again…