Vikings

Andrew Ian Dodge puts on his Viking helmet and sings…

Æsa was right, of course, he easily defeated the monster and drove him away from their shores. He taught the village how to make sure they were never bothered again. Helping them inscribe his “rune” on their ships and on their weapons. No other people but those of Birger dared to wear the sign however, merely preferring to have it on things not on their own flesh. Very quickly the Vikings began to venture farther a-field to explore, raid and trade…”
“Is that the real reason they were able to reach the Americas so long before Columbus?” asked Claire glibly.

Weekly Challenge #8 – Graduation

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Welcome to the eighth Weekly Challenge, where I post a topic and then challenge you to come up with a 100 word story based on that topic.
The topic this week was a graduation.
Seven stories (one rookie) were submitted this week, plus the usual madness from the planet of insane bards, Planet Z. Go ahead and listen to them by clicking on the grammophone thingy there in the left column and then vote for your favorite:

Who had the best story this week?
Gavriel of Abbagav
Robert Nagle of Imaginary Planet
Chase of Political Forecast
Andrew of Dodgeblogium
Rahel of Elms In The Yard
Elisson of blog d’Elisson
B
The Mystery Writer From Planet Z
  
Free polls from Pollhost.com


Thanks to everyone for sending in their stories, and I look forward to what you’ve got to write (and say) next week.
The theme will be posted shortly.

Elevator To Heaven

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People ask me the secret of the Elevator To Heaven.
The secret is that it is no secret. Actually, you’ve probably been in it.
How? Well, nearly every elevator is an Elevator To Heaven.
Look, just step in the elevator and wait for the doors to close.
Then, touch the 8 button.
Push it in hard and rotate it a quarter-turn.
Then release the button.
See? You’ve got an infinity symbol now.
Just wait a minute, and the doors will open to Heaven’s Lobby.
Just be sure to stub out your cigarette. God hates smoke.
That’s why He made Hell.

White

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Andrew Ian Dodge is back with another tale of Rupert…

“So what happened to these poor souls? They look like they have seen the devil himself.”
“With God’s loving grace we should be able to bring them round.”
“I hope so for their sake and yours. I would keep that present of mine handy in case one of them is farther gone than he looks…” Replied Rupert.
“You mean?”
“Yes, we lost one as we left the Monastery, that is what turned the rest of them white-haired.” He said. “Look Father it has been a long night, and you’ll be needed inside. We must be off.”
Rupert didn’t say more.

I need to link Andrew’s new podcast to the sidebar. I’ll hit that tomorrow when I settle down with my first cup of mocha coffee with spice.

Par Of Dice

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“God does not play dice with the universe,” said the old professor, “He plays dice with the Franelli Brothers in the alley.”
Joe, Luigi, God, and Tony were huddled around a pile of money, some beer bottles, a pizza box, and a pair of dice.
God picked them up. “Baby needs a new crown of thorns,” he muttered, and threw.
“Why do you let bad things happen to good people?” I asked.
“Because they don’t pay up,” said Joe.
Luigi laughed and looked at God. “Is we forgiven?”
“Yeah, yeah,” said God. “Pass the bones, Jack. I’m feeling lucky tonight!”

Struck Noon

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Every day at twelve, the clock struck Noon and the town went mad.
Fights and burnings – you name it. If there’s something wrong that a soul can do, when that clock strikes Noon it happens.
They tried to burn the clock tower down, but stone doesn’t burn. No door at its base, either, nor could they climb up it.
They tried ladders. As they reached the top, it was Noon, and they smashed the ladders to toothpicks.
Pits dug to undermine it or blast it up never got deep enough. Sledgehammers broke on the stone.
It’s almost Noon.
Listen closely.

Chew Bubblegum

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“I came here to kick ass and chew bubblegum,” said the hero. “And I’m all out of bubblegum.”
The villain checked his pockets.
“I think I have some bubblegum,” he said.
“What?” asked the hero.
“I have some gum,” said the villain, holding out a pack. “Strawberry flavor?”
“I like strawberry,” said the hero.
The villain handed the hero a piece.
“Thank you,” said the hero, sticking it in his mouth. “That’s nice of you.”
He chewed it, blew a bubble, and fell over dead.
The villain laughed his best laugh, then stopped when he realized nobody could hear him.

Shouting

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Jerry tried to think of worse things to shout in a movie theater than “Fire!” He ran down the list in his notebook, shouting each one.
The theater owner didn’t appreciate his field research and banned him from the theater.
Never one to give up easily, he tried other theaters, but his face was on a printout at the box office.
So he went from town to town, but the theater chains caught on to his act.
Jerry became a master of disguise, using false noses and wigs and sunglasses to alter his appearance.
Eventually, the worst word became “JERRY!”

Weekly Challenge #7 – Cell Phone

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Welcome to the seventh Weekly Challenge, where I post a topic and then challenge you to come up with a 100 word story based on that topic.
The topic this week was a cell phone.
Only five stories were submitted this week, plus the usual madness from the planet of insane bards, Planet Z. Go ahead and listen to them by clicking on the grammophone thingy there in the left column and then vote for your favorite:

Which was the best story this week?
Elisson of blog d’Elisson
B
Gavriel of Abbagav
Sharon from Ohbladioblahblog
Andrew of Dodgeblogium
The Mystery Writer From Planet Z
  
Free polls from Pollhost.com


Thanks to everyone for sending in their stories, and I look forward to what you’ve got to write (and say) next week.
The theme will be posted shortly.

Reality Show

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The producer called the show “Back From Hell.”
The rules? Die, go to Hell, and then make it back.
First one wins a million bucks.
We’d take cameras with us and send video back through a new technology someone had invented.
They weeded us down to twelve, handed out pills, and said “You have to do this willingly. Suicide is a mortal sin.”
A dozen deaths later, we arrive in the Woods – the middle ring of the Seventh Circle. Our corpses hang from our branches.
“Now what?” we say.
I knew I should have tried that Ballroom Dancing show instead.