Thank you to all you followers.
I follow some of y’all back. The things I find interesting. Or inspiring.
Some of y’all are recent. Some of y’all are longtimers.
Some of y’all left the platform long ago. And maybe even this life.
I hope you have found peace, whatever your y’all is.
Some people follow-spam and like-spam to get their name out there.
It’s okay. How they play it.
It’s like everyone in a public park.
You can use the grass for jogging, yoga, touch football, a picnic.
As long as the person walking their dog picks up after, right?
Trial period
I made the mistake of buying the free month trial of LinkedIn Premium, and now instead of getting a sprinkling of anonymous people viewing my profile, I get a torrent of anonymized people viewing my profile.
Me, I don’t hide my profile. If I look around, I look around.
And I will message them more often than not, just to tip the hat or a good morning or just something to brighten their day (or darken their doorstep).
And I do hope they’re doing well.
If they’re not, I hope they do what they need to make it well again.
No mayo
A burger is a burger, right?
If I want no mayo on a burger and the chef slops mayo all over it, should I scrape it off? Throw it out? Throw it in the chef’s face and yell WHAT THE FUCK DOES NO MAYO MEAN, FUCKER?
Some places make you pay first because they want to make it a hassle to get a refund or a redo when they screw up.
And some take pride in their work and only ask you to pay when you’re done.
I think that’s worth paying someone something extra to bring it to you.
Tommy
Thomas Edison didn’t invent the light bulb.
Instead, he and his staff performed thousands of experiments with different filaments to determine the most efficient, cost-effective, and longest-lasting filament he could use.
He went through all those thousands of experiments, looking for something simple, cheap, and effective.
I wonder about those thousands of failures.
Did he just grab anything and try it?
A piece of bacon from breakfast? Hair from his head?
His wife’s dildos?
As some point, he must have been tearing out his hair, ripping up his shirt.
And that’s where the carbonized cotton filament came from, right?
Melvin is lost for words
I’m sure you’ve heard Melvin Tune’s songs. The man is a wizard with words.
The songs, they’re played all over the world.
Those familiar instrumental ditties that accompany your stroll through grocery stores, elevator rides, and journey around other places that play ambient background music.
For some reason, composers ask Melvin for lyrics to their compositions, he scribbles up a few pages, and hands them over.
The composer tweaks their song, turning it from good to great.
And then, they record it… and when they remove the lyric tracks, it’s just… well…
It’s just perfection.
And Melvin cashes the checks.
An Unlocked Door by Lisa
An Unlocked Door by Lisa
He’s not locked the door.
Maybe he never has, we all stare at it wearing the same expression- an odd, hopeful scared face. None of us want to make the first move because what if it’s a trick. It has to be. He didn’t answer when I‘d asked if we could leave the basement.
Why has he got us here anyway?
Where are we?
I notice a movement behind the crack in the door panel. He’s there watching, waiting. I mouth this to the others and we sit wide eyed and rigid.
Things were better when the door was locked.
Weekly Challenge #926: Crack
The next topic is PICK TWO Bookcase, Verdict, Sprint, Crisp, Vulgar, Pregnant
RICHARD
Thin Ice
They told me I was skating on thin ice: that, one day, it would crack and I’d sink into the depths as a result of my foolishness.
I never listened to them. I was young and free-spirited; nobody was going to tell me how to live my life, and nobody had the right to tell me what to do.
I knew better than them.
Turns out, I didn’t. They were right, and I was wrong.
After the accident, they fenced off the pond, and put up notices saying ‘Danger: Thin ice’.
Nobody skates there now.
My cold, watery grave.
TOM
Too Smart by half
Billy was a precocious little prick. Most believed he was most likely to come to a bad end. He was the sort who told younger children Santa and the Easter bunny were made up by adult to con them into being good. Further he flaunted any nursey rhymes. he would proudly land his foot on every crack in the sidewalk. One day the universe was feed-up with the little M-F. When he stepped on Crack but it didn’t back his mother’s The sidewalk when medieval on his ass, broke him in half. Universe noted: that’s mother fucker’s back, putz.
843
Somewhere
I was born in the city but my parents thought moving to suburbs would be a wholesome environment for young children. Bad idea. The Suburbs sucked. At the tender age of six I was dropped in a place with no sidewalks. Rustic it was, countryfied. Problem you ask? Fear of God had been driven into me never leave the sidewalk into a street. cognitive dissonance, Hal 9000 landscape. Later in life it became the define element to my dwelling choices. Anywhere with sidewalk was fine by me. Yup lived in some pretty rough neighborhoods. Funny the stuff that defines us.
SERENDIPIDY
I wonder what will make you crack?
Will it be the electrodes to the genitals, pulling out your nails with pliers, or maybe the water torture will do the trick?
Or, perhaps you think those methods lack subtlety?
Maybe I should kidnap your family instead and send you their fingers through the post?
Or are you made of sterner stuff, well-schooled in the art of keeping silent, even under great adversity?
To be honest, it really doesn’t matter much to me… I already have the information I need.
I just want to torture you, for the fun of it!
NORVAL JOE
Something whistled past Billbert’s ear, followed a split-second later by the crack of a high-powered rifle.
Wide eyed, Buhmilda clutched her stomach and dropped to her knees. Another crack and Sabrina spun around, blood spurting from a wound in her thigh.
Mr. Trump (Buhmilda’s dog) ran and hid. The other guild members around the meadow fled.
Rapid fire followed Billbert as he grabbed Linoliumanda and shot straight up into the sun.
He angled back down to the forest and set her among the ferns.
“Are you okay, Mandi?” Billbert asked.
She nodded her head as shots continued in the meadow.
LIZZIE
It was an ancient building. The crack on the wall grew bigger. But he wasn’t going to let it crumble down on his watch. So, he filled the crack with cement. When the wall collapsed, he was in Aruba, sunbathing. Everyone was horrified. Cement? Apparently, bad cement, who would’ve thought. The horror! Who had done that? However, they did find a secret room with a long-lost treasure. So, he went back and bragged. Not a good idea. “But, what about the treasure? And a crumbling wall adds character!” He shouted while being dragged off to jail. To brag or not to brag.
PLANET Z
Every time I flex the finger in my left hand, I can feel a joint in the middle finger pop.
It’s not just an intermittent thing.
It happens every time I do it.
I open and close my hand a few times, pop pop pop.
It’s not a knuckle crack. It’s not loud.
It’s just something I feel.
I don’t know how long it’s been doing this, or what it means.
I never remember to tell the doctor about it.
I’m too busy with my weight, my diet, and everything else.
I just open and close my hand, and feel.
The C stood for Cheap
I worked for a company that built its own vacation calendar and ticket system.
They said it was cheaper to build their own compared to contracting with an off-the-shelf system.
And they were right. It was cheap to build.
To maintain it, though, was a nightmare.
The workplace rules and regulations, all the connections with the payroll system (which they built themselves, too)…
It took an entire development staff to maintain and update.
So full of bugs. I spent so many hours getting them to fix incorrect information.
My current job uses an off-the-shelf system.
And everything works.
Including me.
Unfree Willy
The irony of the movie Free Willy is that the whale who played Willy, Keiko, wasn’t free at all.
Born and bred in captivity.
Sick a lot of the time, but still forced to perform tricks and act in television and movies.
People were outraged, and a campaign started to free Willy.
Eventually, after a few years, Keiko was freed.
And lonely.
The whale came back, playing with kids in the water.
Which scared the crap out of them.
Keiko eventually got sick again, was recaptured by veterinarians, and died.
Thankfully, Hollywood isn’t rebooting Free Willy movies anytime soon.
Teddy can’t be found
You won’t find Teddy in Housewares.
He’s usually sneaking a spray paint can or two back by the dumpster.
And when he comes back, yeah, he’s got that smile on his face, total blissing out.
It’s been happening for weeks, and when customers finally complained about broken seals on the cans, the manager fired Teddy.
Then he went in back and saw the wall… the mural… it was… gorgeous.
Teddy was an instant celebrity, invited to spray his masterpieces everywhere.
Then one morning, he was found dead in an alley.
That smile on his face? He’d also been shooting heroin.