There were celebrations in Teheran, Riyadh, Cairo, Beirut, Damascus, and mosques throughout the world.
The “Zionist occupier”, as they called it, had fallen.
In public, Western countries condemned the action, but privately, they sighed relief.
They didn’t want any incidents in their own countries.
Synagogues were burned, community centers attacked, and Jewish blood spilled.
Millions of miles away, out in the asteroid belt, The Samson Project woke up.
It sent out signals, received no responses, and activated its rockets.
Twenty massive rocks dropped out of orbit and steered for earth.
There would be no last laugh.
Just dust and death.
Weekly Challenge #615 – Why Not?
Welcome to the 100 Word Stories podcast at oneadayuntilthedayidie.com.
This is the Weekly Challenge, where I post a topic and then challenge you to come up with a 100 word story based on that topic.
We’ve got stories by:
THE KEEME
GOODBYE (Please Tiger)
Goodbyes are difficult. From getting dumped by text message, to just being ghosted. Excuses are all bullshit that become blurry after one realizes the truth of it all.
YOU HAVE NO MESSAGES
“Hello Mom, Pick up its me.”
“Hey Dude, its me again, Please pickup.”
“I’m sorry to bother you, but I need to talk to someone, anyone… even you.”
“Hi, Call me back bro, if you want.”
YOU HAVE ONE MESSAGE
“Whoever listens to this, I don’t blame anyone, it’s what I needed to do. Please tell mom I love her and I’ll always be her little tiger cub.”
RICHARD
I was rubbish in the scouts. I hated camping, orienteering, gang shows and all that other nonsense.
As for earning badges: I was the least decorated boy in the troop.
How ironic, that it was thanks to me one of the most challenging badge tasks ever was created.
I was attempting my knotwork badge, and when I handed my efforts – a terminally tangled mess of rope, never to be untangled again, to the troop leader, he told me… “That’s not how you tie a knot?”
“Why?” I responded.
And that’s how the ultimate knotwork challenge – The Why Knot – was created.
LIZZIE
“Why not the head first?” asked Paulie.
“That’s not the way we do it,” replied the boss.
“Why not?”
“Because. Go grab the leg for me and shut up.”
Paulie crossed the yard, grabbed the leg from a bucket, and dragged it back.
“Here.” And he dumped the leg on the kitchen table.
“Hey. Remember the arm.”
The acid would do wonders, but last time he had to deal with an arm, it flipped in such an odd way he didn’t sleep for a whole damn week.
“Why not the head…?”
“Paulie…”
TOM
In To The Words
I’m not inclined to take my clothing off in public, but when camping in the woods with a 100 or so pagans the line between public and semipublic sort of blurs out. And it wasn’t like I got buck naked. I was sort of half-naked. This allow me to keep a close watch on the fire circle without scorching Mr. Happy. Those around me were layering themselves with commercial grade clay. A particular earnest young woman approached with two fist full of clay. Why not, I thought. So I became a member of the Clay Tribe. Damn cold though.
DR. ALEX
A 100 word story – “Why not?”
By Dr. Alex
Around the bend came the first set of headlights I’d seen since starting this late night hours journey.
The unknown Packard slowed beside me. Yelling out, he called: “Hey, Buddy, need a lift?”
My socks – no dryer than a used kitchen sponge and the blisters about to pop before completing my walk ahead. “Sure,” I said, “why not?”
Then did I notice poking my right hip a bulge in the map holder. “What’s this?” I asked.
“Oh, that pistol it’s just in case I run into trouble.”
I wonder what sort of trouble we were now looking to find.
SERENDIPITY
You know how you sometimes get those feelings? You know… The ones where you toy with the idea of doing away with your partner, bumping off your boss, or wiping out the idiot who just cut you up in the street.
Everyone has them – those flights of fancy when we plan the perfect murder: Rat poison in the pudding; the severed brake pipe; the anonymous stabbing in a dark alleyway.
Don’t pretend that you haven’t.
We all have.
The only real difference between you and me, is that when you say “Why would I?”
I say, “Why not?”
JEFFREY
Tell them they’re all special. Make sure there are quotas for those who would otherwise not make the grade. Ensure they can take humanities classes – never mind exposing them to science – and the eliminate the traditional Western history and literature courses because they foster the “patriarchy.” Add Black Studies, Feminist Studies, Queer Studies, insisting that life is nothing but identity politics. Emphasize fantasty concepts such as “queer math,” or 72 genders. Provide safe spaces so students never have to come into contact with a countervailing idea. Tell them that they can change the world, then let them loose into it. Watch society go up in flames.
Why not? What could possibly go wrong?
NORVAL JOE
Sir Edmund Hillary, the first man to climb Mount Everest, was asked why he climbed mountains.
His not so famous initial response was, “Why not?”
Vocal environmentalists and human rights activists responded on social media citing many reasons why people should not climb mountains. Such as: The irreversible damage caused to fragile alpine ecosystems, the accumulating detritus of climbing equipment, materials, and human waist, and the exploitation of local indigenous peoples.
Tenzing Norgay, Hillary’s Nepalese Sherpa guide was asked the same question.
His philosophical response, “Because it’s there”, was so much more succinct that Hillary claimed credit for the quote.
LAEIANNA
Unlike other children at the age of wonder, Dinah’s questions revolved
around why not each time I declined her demands, and what a range of
demands. If my reasoning was not satisfactory to her developing mind,
I felt her wrath. Not some standard child’s tantrum, but fire. Real
fire blazed from Dinah and I would receive the burn. After a year of
dealing with this demonic power, I realized I was ill equipped. I
took little Dinah to the fire station for a no questions asked
abandonment of my child. I mean, they have better tools for dealing
with her.
PLANET Z
We selectively bred plants and animals to improve them.
Make them useful. Better.
We gathered bacteria and viruses, tested them, to make medicines.
Why not humans?
The law? Really?
You expect me to believe that?
Once, alterations cost a fortune.
And those who could afford them were above the law.
Now, anyone can afford them.
Which makes it impossible to police them all.
Pure is so rare.
You and me, unaltered.
But we’re not pure.
After all, I’m a copy of you.
Or are you a copy of me?
It doesn’t matter.
After I eliminate you, I’ll be perfect again.
In the pink
Baseball started with pink ribbons for breast cancer awareness.
Then pink bats, And pink gloves.
Pretty soon everything was pink.
Their uniforms, the bases, the balls, and eventually the grass and dirt.
Even the hot dogs and beer were pink.
“A portion of proceeds will go to cancer awareness,” said a spokeman.
After two seasons of the pink, scientists noticed an upsurge in cancer rates.
The pink dye was a carcinogen.
Thousands more died, and millions suffered.
Except for the spokeman, who had taken the money and retired to Bermuda.
Keenly aware of skin cancer, he used plenty of sunblock.
Sophisticate
In order to appear sophisticated and savvy, whenever there’s a company dinner at a restaurant, I go to the restaurant’s menu online and decide what I want to have before I get there.
Then, I memorize the items.
Instead of accepting a menu from the waiter, I say “I already know what I want.”
And I order from memory.
“Have you been here before?” people ask.
Yeah, I come off looking so damn sophisticated. Except when I get food poisoning.
Then, I go online to the hospital’s website, and decide which doctor I want to have before I get there.
Names are names are forever
Piper was my baby.
Edloe was my Grumpus.
Frisky was my fluffball.
Bruwyn was my Boo.
Myst is my Missy.
Tinny is my squeaky.
And Nardo was my buddy.
Every cat gets their name, and their own special name.
When I give them their special name, it’s for them to keep.
Okay, so I wanted to name Myst “Baby” when we got her.
And both Bruwyn and Myst were the baby panthers.
But nobody ever again will ever be my buddy.
As much as Tinny asks for hugs, and Myst lays in my lap and purrs.
Some things are forever.
Up in the garden
For the first few years, things were pretty rough for the orbital colony.
We worked out the pumps and hydroponics working, and achieved near-sustainable levels of efficiency.
There were still some issues with trace elements, nutrient loss, and other problems inherent in a closed entropic environment.
So, we started a marketing plan for the elderly. Invited them to spend their golden years in orbit with reduced gravity.
And they came.
Most didn’t survive the boost to orbit. We fed them to the composter.
The crops come in great now.
But just in case, let’s order up another shipload of geezers.
Jackie Fucking Collins
Jackie Collins the writer died recently.
She made a fortune off of writing tell-all novels about her friends and the gossip they spread about their friends.
If any of her friends pissed her off, their shit appeared in her novels.
Especially if they dished shit on her. Including her skank of a sister.
I know that it’s wrong to speak ill of the dead, but in her case, what’s wrong with dishing shit on her now? What a bitch!
Now her shit is appearing in the tell-all gossip rags.
Because nobody had the guts to say it at her funeral.
Whiskers
Jack. He was my grandmother’s second husband. He had a little dog from his first marriage named Whiskers. It was a Schnauzer, or was it a Terrier? The dog was really old and slow, and it wasn’t aware of us or anything.
The first night we were there, the dog let out a huge groan and laid down, and it released a puddle of shit. No, a lake of shit. Jack walked through that lake of shit, got down on his knees, and hugged his dead dog. “Good Whiskers,” he said.
If that isn’t love, I don’t know what is.
Weekly Challenge #614 – Pick Two January
Welcome to the 100 Word Stories podcast at oneadayuntilthedayidie.com.
This is the Weekly Challenge, where I post a topic and then challenge you to come up with a 100 word story based on that topic.
We’ve got stories by:
LIZZIE
Look Away, Please
A crowd gathered near the collapsed bridge. The front part of the truck was stuck on one side of the bridge, the back on the other.
“Icy pavement?”
Heads shook.
“Where’s the driver?”
They checked security cams, interviewed witnesses, searched the truck. Nothing.
“So, no one was driving the truck?”
Elsewhere, monitors showed live images from the accident.
A man adjusted the noose around the woman’s neck.
“Let’s get this tighter.”
She didn’t last long.
The man smiled. Improving his obsolete technological skills opened up a whole new world of possibilities. They would never catch him.
RICHARD
#1 – The Tiger on the Corner
The tiger on the corner
I encountered yesterday
Told me to wear a tie
if I wished to pass that way
Ties are not my thing:
An obsolete, old fashioned style,
But a detour would require me
to walk another mile.
I asked if he’d reconsider his demand,
But his stare – cold as winter – underlined his command.
He smiled a webcam smile,
showing all his teeth
And a shiver passed right through me,
and led to my belief
That I’d be tiger food
if I pushed my luck that night.
So instead of turning left,
I turned that corner right!
#2 – Spank Me!
“Please tie me up”, she whispered, “and spank me with a fresh haddock”.
It wasn’t the most bizarre request she’s made of me, but it was up there with the best of them. What really made it something out of the ordinary was the setting.
Most previous escapades had taken place in the privacy of our own home, apart from one memorable experience at the local swingers’ club, but this was a first for both of us.
The middle of McDonald’s on a Wednesday afternoon!
And where the hell was I going to find a fresh haddock in these surroundings?
TOM
Let the Leaf Fall Slowly
Cornered Tiger lifted his hand towards most honorable Obsolete Winter. “Please,” said Tiger. Winter floated to the center of the mat. They locked arms and pressed in fits and starts. The match went back and forth over the hour. Tiger ahead, then Winter ahead both encountered the raging chi of the other’s particular form of deep power. The whole affair was produced on a shoe string budget. No high def cams. Just two webcams that streamed it to a public server in Seoul. In the end the match was a tie, but 50,000,000 viewers rated the match a monumental success.
SERENDIPITY
From the moment you encountered me, your fate was sealed. You knew it as well as I – your death was inevitable, the only question: How you would eventually meet your end.
I thought you deserved special treatment… Not for you the quick, clean end, brought about by piano wire, rope or poison. Neither would you experience the sudden, sharpness of cold steel, or a bullet to the head.
I had something different in store for you – call it poetic justice.
Surrounded by your hunting trophies, shackled and bound… Now the hunter had become the hunted:
Time to release the tiger!
JEFFREY
Fetish
by Jeffrey Fischer
Aviv’s webcam was discretely located in a corner of his bedroom, hidden by stuffed animals. Those who spotted the camera assumed Aviv enjoyed recording his amorous encounters. Aviv was a minor celebrity, known mainly from advertisements. He would have no trouble inviting women to his place.
Susan, a former conquest, who had noticed the webcam too late, hired a burglar to steal the footage. She didn’t want her sighs and moans made public, and thought the opportunity for blackmail too good to pass up. When the thief turned over a thumb drive, Susan was surprised. Aviv did indeed have a fetish. Again and again the camera showed Aviv dressing in a suit and tie, arranging several stuffed animals around a child-sized table, enjoying tea with the animals. All except for the tiger, who didn’t care for tea and sat contemplating a glass of milk while Aviv chattered away.
TURA
The Dudelsack
———
The dudelsack is native to the Jura mountains. It is a protected species nowadays, but in times past it was hunted for its skin. Even then they were rarely encountered, for they are secretive creatures, quick to flee from any disturbance. In winter they hibernate in burrows they dig for the purpose. This was the season when dudelsack hunters would search the hills for their secret dens, and take advantage of their drowsiness to trap the prey without damaging its hide. It was chiefly prized for making Alpine bagpipes, and this is why the German word for bagpipe is Dudelsack.
NORVAL JOE
Barry was a proctologist but not a very good proctologist.
He paid bottom dollar for a failing practice in a low income part of town.
He refused to pay for any newer technology. In fact he would typically use worn out or obsolete tools unless he was cornered and threatened with a law suit.
At one point the ancient proctoscope that came with the practice finally gave up the ghost.
Did Dr. Barry Pokenbottom shell out good money for a new one?
Nope.
Finding materials in a storage room, he tied a webcam to a broomstick and used that instead.
DR. ALEX
Jeremy spent the last week preparing himself for battle – tweaking his blank stare after heading advice from his webcam chat room buddies.
He knew he was ready. Then he heard it: “Let’s play Family Feud!”
First to the podium and ready to face off against an exquisite brunette named Sally, little did Jeremy know that she had also prepared. Her with her leopard print slip under her pencil skirt.
Jeremy, however, was not to be undone, for he had chosen well: his tiger striped bow tie that showed proudly.
With a flick of his wrist. Buzzer! “Answer?”
“Banana split!” Ding!
DUANE
Obsolete and Please
The new GF25 comes out tomorrow. Now nobody likes hearing that their girlfriend is obsolete, but you have to keep up with technology. The “25” is smarter, faster and has a pleasure rating of 89. I can’t even imagine what that’s like.
I’ll probably just take the trade in even though I could get more on Craigslist. I don’t like answering all the questions about scratches and dents and performance problems.
Teaching a new girlfriend is the only drawback. I wish you could download your likes and dislikes from the old one, but the GF25 isn’t compatible with old girlfriends.
PLANET Z
Diana liked to point her webcam out the window and stream the scene in her backyard.
The snow, falling through the old willow tree, blanketing the ground in white.
Every now and then, a bright red cardinal at the bird feeder.
It was beautiful. People from around the world watched her webcam’s feed.
So, when the feed vanished, the discussion boards exploded in worry.
What happened to Diana?
And then, eventually, a final screen capture appeared: a girl in a night shirt, hanging from a rope by her neck from the willow tree.
And a knocked-over chair, half-covered with snow.
Adult in a candy store
It used to be that there were only plain and peanut M&Ms.
Now, they’ve got pretzel, almonds, mint, and all kinds of specialty flavors for the holidays.
And you can get different colors and special messages.
Hershey’s kisses did the same.
They used to be plain chocolate, but they added almonds and swirls and caramel and all kinds of crazy flavors.
There’s so many varieties of KitKat and Snickers and other candy bars, it’s scary.
Which helps me to run past the candy aisle and pick up healthy fruits and vegetables.
(Don’t get me started about the varieties of apples!)