Author: R.

Welcome to the 100 Word Stories podcast at podcasting.isfullofcrap.com. I’m your host, Laurence Simon.

This is Weekly Challenge Number Three Hundred and Thirty-Eight, where I post a topic and then challenge you to come up with a 100 word story based on that topic.

The topic this week was Chip.

And we’ve got stories by a lot of people:

• David
• Thomas
• Jeffrey
• Tom
• Serendipidy Haven
• Tura
• Pau
• Munsi
• Zackmann
• Lizzie
• Cliff – Uncle Monster
• Bonchance and Sevi
• Norval Joe
• RedGoddess
• Planet Z

The next weekly challenge is on the topic of circle.

And if you want to spam your social networks with this episode, use the Share buttons at the end of the post… this obligatory cat photo should help make the Internet go faster:

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DAVID

“Hey, Chip, are you about ready to leave?” I asked.
“Well, have you picked up the chips and dip yet?” he challenged back.
Soon, we’d head to the 32nd annual poker championship to be held at the Community Center. They’d be serving chipped beef again, but I was signed to bring snacks for the affair.
“Let’s stop at Quik-Ez on the way.” I did not want to be late again this year. This charity event was somewhat competitive. Whomever has the biggest stack of chips at the end of the night was declared Poker King until next year’s contest.

THOMAS

The computer chip they implanted deep into Tiddbitt’s brain managed and controlled everything, except his impulsivity. His excoriating editorials, ranging from lengthy diatribes about organized sports to excessive city spending, sent to the local weekly news, were carefully crafted, but highly disturbing to the majority of the newspaper’s readers. The senior editor stopped publishing them and he implored Tiddbitt not to write any more, and if he Tweeted them, or blogged them, to please tone it down. Readers were burning municipal vehicles, smashing bank windows, attacking city council members, throwing bricks at public workers, and flipping the bird at clergymen.

##

She chipped her tooth during a particularly energetic bout of lovemaking. Dating the Master At Arms of the Hell’s Angels had some benefits, but the downside was the rough handling, and group sex, along with frequent dealings with CHIPs on the California highways. When Shelli saw Sister Elizabeth-Rose double-dipping chips at the buffet table, she shouted at her. Shelli was not shy about embarrassing folks that scorned basic etiquette and sanitation rules at parties or weddings. Her boyfriend, Hardi Bigcup, had her back. Today, reaching her nader, she works as an oil changer and lubes chassis part time at Walmart.

JEFFREY

Second Chances
by Jeffrey Fischer

Marvin popped a chip in his mouth and reached for the remote control. *Flick.* Division I-AA football. Nah. *Flick.* Home shopping. *Flick.* Talking heads, yelling at each other about politics. *Flick.* An action movie – Stallone? Willis? He couldn’t tell, and it really didn’t matter. Something was exploding on the screen, and that was enough for Marvin.

He ate another chip, a large, irregularly-shaped one. It caught in his throat and Marvin began choking. He saw his life flash before his eyes, all the bad decisions in a lifetime full of them. He sputtered twice and dislodged the stuck piece. As he gulped air, he realized he had been given a second chance. He would make the most of it.

Marvin flicked the remote, settling on a rerun of Happy Days. He popped a chip in his mouth and munched.

TOM

When I was a child television was littered with function fathers. Robert Young, Carl Betz, Fred McMurray. Oddly these actors made their chops playing pretty heavy weight characters. From the coldblooded killer in Double Indemnity to the bachelor engineer in My Three Sons. Fred McMurray traveled the greatest distance from cad to kind. The central theme of that show was no girls, a house of men, total testosterogen. I grew-up in a household with five sisters, a mom and her mom. That’s seven women, one more than Louisa May shoved into her novel. Tuning into the boy’s club was comforting

#

The youngest son in that house was named Chip. In my vast collection of people’s named not a single one was addressed formally or in, as Chip. I came from a blue-collar world where everyone had biblical names: John, James, Ben, Isaac. Chip, in my world, parents didn’t use verbs as names. I knew something was happening; I was clueless that the writes had blown a cultural dog whistle. Chip wasn’t blue-collar. Chip was Ivy League. He was meant to go to school with guys named Hunter. Ironically Chip ended up in a teen marriage, totally cautionary, totally 70s.

SARAH

Our obsession with miniaturisation is something I’ve never understood – ever since the microchip was invented we’ve gone to extraordinary lengths to squeeze ever more complexity into ever-smaller spaces.

Why do we do it?

Surely, bigger is better?

Take my new idea – the maxi-chip – all of three inches square… imagine much processing power you can fit on that!

We’d have computers a hundred times faster and so much more powerful, with only a tiny increase in overall size!

Why stop there?

How about the mega-chip – a full six-inch monster!

Look out Silicon Valley – here I come!

TURA

We’re taking Timmy for his regular exocortex upgrade. They’ll pull out the chip, garbage-collect the memory, and update the software with age-appropriate skills.

It’s a bit disorienting, but they get over it. We’ll keep him off school a few days, while he learns to be himself again. You can’t have the other children suddenly wondering who their friend is. They get afraid of being upgraded themselves.

Some parents get all sorts of black market stuff put in, like intelligence boosts, or religion. Who wants a child smarter than they are, or doesn’t think this is the best country on Earth?

PAU

Congratulations – repeated the boss to the employee looking into his eyes.
He could not believe it. His boss had entered the office this morning saying “Good morning“ with a wide smile and then he had addressed to Tony to admire his report that was successfully submitted to the Board.
But immediately Tony suspected, after seeing that the screw on the boss’ left ear was loose, and then a drop of oil fell to the ground.
Tony had no doubt and quickly called the Head of Maintenance: the boss’ chip had broken again.

MUNSI

Chipper

By Christopher Munroe

I was being extraordinarily reasonable.

I didn’t raise my voice, I wasn’t rude, I simply explained that the first time I put a guy into the wood-chipper I’d bought, it jammed, and asked for a refund.

Jerry, behind the counter, explained that the wood-chipper was meant to chip wood, and since I’d misused the hardware no refund would be forthcoming.

Chip wood?

What part of my life as a hired murderer would lead me to need chipped wood?

Still, nothing I could do, so I bought another, sturdier wood-chipper at a rival store.

This weekend, I’ll demonstrate it to Jerry…

ZACKMANN

Chip chips away at the stone as he finishes a sculpture with a chip on
his shoulder.
“Stand still or I will chip your tooth.” says Chip.
The model replies “As a Chip and Dale dancer, I can’t have that even
in my facsimile.”
Chip says “Don’t be too chipper since I would have to charge double
for chipping on a Sunday.”
The dancer replies “After being hit in the mouth in a Paris bar fight,
I found overseas chipping to be the worst.”
“Have a look, so much like you that it is a chip of the old block”

LIZZIE

“Integrated circuit developed to feed the population of the world” that is how it was advertised. It would chip away until the problem of hunger was solved. Companies of the whole world chipped in eager to make immeasurable profits. But when the chips were down and colossal amounts of money were needed, there was no agreement. The usual chip on the shoulder attitude took over and major investors tried to steal the blueprint of this promising product from the creator. Adding to famine, a world war broke out. Apparently the new human race was a chip off the old block.

CLIFF

My guide explained that many things in Merry Old had different names. When he picked me up at the airport, he put my luggage in the boot. He gave me a ride to my rented flat, taking the lift up to the third floor. At the pub, we ordered a pint of stout and chips. I saw bags of chips behind the counter, but they were crisps. Cookies were biscuits, women were birds, the bathroom was the alley, and a friendly greeting in a pub was “Hello, you big sissy.” I think my guide is a bit of a joker.

#####

When Lucy looked down at the baby, she wasn’t surprised. Somehow, she had known the child would not be beautiful. Hopefully, the boy would grow out of it and take after his mother but Lucy wasn’t about to start taking bets on that. The infant had tiny eyes and a big round head. His hair was dark, but, for his sake, Lucy hoped his mother’s red hair and good looks would kick in eventually. She looked up at the proud father.
“Well, Chuck, I don’t know what to say. It looks like he’s a chip of the old block head.”

SEVI AND BONCHANCE

Chip

Mirella started her new “Chip n Chow” diet.
She was to trade poker chips for food.

Staring at the bag of ketchup chips, she salivated.
She contemplated digging in. Imagining a sweet n salty chip melt in a crumble upon her tongue.
“I only had a salad and cup of tea so far today.”

She rationalized and calculated. The remaining chips would cover eating the entire bag of sin. It seemed like a fair trade off to her, although the salty treat was not on the list of approved foods.

She decided to “let the chips fall where they may!”

chip chip chip

Taylor was impatient for answers about life. He started his journey of discovery.

Chip…chip…chip…”Excuse me old man is this the path to the ancient monk’s temple?
The old man continued patiently chipping away at the stone.

Fine!

He found the head monk in the great temple in the mountains. His other questions forgotten, the only query at the top of his mind was to ask about the rude old monk, chipping away at the mountain pass.

Smiling he replied, “do not know of this gentleman you speak of. Only know young impatient monk left at mountain wall many years ago.”

chip off the ole block

Pepe moved back in with his parents and vowed to clean up his act.
He now accepted the fact that he was a chip off the Pablo block.
Why fight it?

Speaking of fighting, Pepe wondered what his dad was going to do when
he finds out that the cute woodle (part wheaton, part poodle), bubbles was preggers.

He realized that issue would have to wait, word spread throughout the neighborhood
Poor Pablo has gone missing. A distraught Espy called an emergency meeting after
a very mean looking Colonel Meow informed her that Pablo was being “entertained” by the Chairman.

NORVAL JOE

Hours passed and the company waited in a silent circle some distance from the elf prince.
Elbonor sat on the ground, cross-legged, before the crumbled pile of stone. His eyes were closed and he hummed quietly to himself.
“Why is he just sitting there? He needs to get the way-stone back together?”
Owen asked.
“He’s learning how it was destroyed,” Shareeka said. “If it is not put back, chip by chip, as it was disassembled, the stone will not work.”
“What happens if the village goblins return before it gets rebuilt?” Owen asked.
“That would be a problem,” Shareeka said.

REDGODDESS

Lola barely moved since being released from the hospital. Her injuries from the assault are slowly healing, physically. She decides to take a weekend shift at the hotel to distract her from this new lazy life of television. Besides, she really wants to check on one of her year round guests. Her week as a shut-in triggered just how sad things must be for Mr. Chip; especially with his widow’s birthday coming, he just hasn’t been himself. Lola’s instincts are seldom wrong, but when she sees the coroner in front of the hotel her heart sinks. Mr. Chip had enough.

PLANET Z

My favorite flavor of ice cream used to be mint chocolate chip ice cream. But I don’t eat it anymore.

One night, I left the lid on the table, and while I was eating the ice cream, my cat Piper jumped up on the table, and she licked the lid clean.

For years, I bought mint chocolate chip ice cream, left the lid on the table, and we’d share it together.

Then she died.

The next time I bought ice cream, I left the lid on the table, and just sat there, staring at it.

I buy frozen yogurt now.