Author: R.

Welcome to the 100 Word Stories podcast at podcasting.isfullofcrap.com. I’m your host, Laurence Simon.

This is Weekly Challenge Number Two Hundred and Eighty-Eght, where I post a topic and then challenge you to come up with a 100 word story based on that topic.

The topic this week was Halloween

And we’ve got stories by:

Sevda
Huangfu Ran
Carole
Sachy
Chris Munroe
Tom
Paladin
Jeff Hite
Miketh Fretwork
Steven the Nuclear Man
Zackmann
Norval JoeTJ
Planet Z

And if you want to spam your social networks with this episode, use the Share buttons at the end of the post.

---

Sevda

Halloween

This child transforms into a vampire
Running past the blazing campfire
Instantly upon the porch he yells
“Can I have a trick or treat”
Kindly, he’s given blood to eat
OR
This child transforms into a smurf
Running around the familiar turf
Every stop continues the flood
As she yells out, “Happy Halloween”
Till her face by all is seen

Huangfu Ran

The piping of orioles and twitter of swallows
announce a new year.
To Ma Yi and Long Dui
a thousand mile road.
My home is in a towered city close to the Han park;
My heart follows the bright moon into Tartar skies.
On my loom I have woven my endless sorrow
into brocade;
In the upper chamber, sprays of bl ossom
mock my solitary sleep.
I ask General Dou, Commander of Cavalry,
When will he turn the banners
and carve his exploits on Swallow Rock.

Carole

I was in the shower working up a rich, soapy lather with my body scrub, when the doorbell started to persistently ring.

“Darn,” I thought, “What could be so important?”

I hastily stepped out of my warm cocoon, into my pink fluffy robe and flew down the stairs to answer the door.

A coven of six year old ghouls proffering pumpkin buckets and cauldrons yelled
“Trick or Treat!” at me , giggling with anticipation. I noted their “Gatekeeper”, a tall, gorgeous, handsome man, appraising my dripping wet body, so I responded with a seductive wink

“Well, that depends….”

Later on…

Sachy

From the hell fire in which Halloween was created, the most demonic and horrifying creature was born. In lore he would come to be known as…Brucie.

“Oh em gee, that’s me!”

Greedy tendrils work their way into your unsuspecting pillow cases, bags and buckets in search for his favorite candies.

“Is that Snickers? I just know these are going to go straight to my hips.”

If you see the bright sequenced vest and gleam of leather chaps in the moonlight, grab your candy and run for he is the one creature that will ruin your Halloween.

“You’re so silly.”

Chris Munsi Monroe

And welcome back to Zombie chat! We’ve got some amazing guests joining us on the show tonight and we can’t wait to get started.

First up we’ve got Nobel prizewinning economist Paul Krugman joining us, and we’re going to eat his brain. Our musical guest is Canadian ‘90s power poppers The Odds, playing one of their classic hits. Finally, the head chef of a popular downtown restaurant will be dropping by to cook us a meal involving a surprising secret ingredient!

But first, what’s left of David Mitchellson is outside with the action weather report. Take it away, David!

“Raaaaaaaaain…”

Tom

After very little thought I have decided what I want to be for Halloween this year. Angry Bird Red. I built a 20 foot sling shot. Got an 8 foot ball of nerf covered in red Kevlar. For the destructive material braking kinetic aspect of the costume I’m lighting up ¼ sticks of dynamite and throwing them against people’s screen doors. Really brings that trick or treat meme into the 21st century. Tried to talk my wife into dressing up as Yellow Angry Bird. She pointed out someone needs to me around to throw bail. Ok honey release the ….. eeeeee.

Paladin

Watch, I’ll show you how it’s done. Ya gotta jump when you go into the fog, if you jump when you get in then you’re flying and the ghosts can’t get you. Watch out, the grass is lava. Hop on the rocks. Quick up the stairs, use your flashlight so the goblins can’t get you through the holes. Knock knock. Open bag, smile. TRICK OR TREAT!! Thank you, you’re welcome. Don’t worry, he’s a friendly werewolf. On to the next house. You’re doing pretty good for your first Halloween.

Jeff Hite

Bill came onto the bridge wearing half of an environment suit.
“Why are you wearing an environment suit?” the Computer asked.
“What? oh this, yeah I am putting my Halloween costume together.”
“Halloween?”
“Yes, I want to be ready for the big party at the end of the month.”
“It is only September, and there will be no one to have a party with. Everyone will be in stasis for another 40 years.”
“Well party pooper, I am going to have a great costume, you’ll see. And there will be lights and music, you have got the monster mash right?”

Miketh

Candles are lit, the table is set and the wine is sitting chilled in a bucket of ice. Darla peeks out the window not once but twice. Her husband was late again which wouldn’t suffice. When he walked in the door she would not cause a scene, for it was October 31st also known as Halloween. Charles did love to be fashionably late. He had even done so on their very first date. He took her and kissed her under that old oak tree. If only he hadn’t been dead since 2003. He’d want more than brains unlike other zombies.

Steven The Nuclear Man

My benefactor chortles from the shadows. “Your Trunk-and-Treat was
very…sanitary, Pastor.” His belly moves when he speaks.

I nod and mumble my thanks. “Thanks to you, it was a very Christian–”

He laughs and his belly jiggles. “I don’t care what you call it.
Just so they forget what this holiday is really about. Forget the
sacrifices. Forget what they were scared of.”

Two short men – elves – grab my wrist, and I glimpse red cloth and
white beard as my benefactor rises.

“And then they’ll forget my holiday, and milk and cookies will never,
ever be enough.”

Zackmann

Wow, Captain Cheyenne if you are normally a pirate should you dress as a pirate for Halloween? Great sexy goblin nurse costume,Nyro.
Oh, it is a regular nurse costume I put the sexy in it. Said Nyro.
Also the real tail. Here have some candy, I wouldnt do this to the children on Halloween but would you like some fresh fruit? To bring back to the ark? Unlike pirates most children don’t worry much about scurvy.
How did you know about the story ark? asked captain Cheyenne.
Nyro posted a picture on Twitter when you landed at the river.
zackmann

Drew convinced his mother to take him and this brother shopping for Halloween costume stuff. He asked his mother for a good deal of costume stuff. Her response was telling him that he was crazy if he thought she was spending that much for something that he will use only once. He responded by asking why she would think he would only use it once.
Later asks to go back for some red and blue cloth also some black electrical tape.
On Halloween night, Drew’s dad was not sure which superhero Drew was but had to admit Drew looked great

Norval Joe

Detective Branson woke to the sound of his dog scratching at his bedroom door. He peered at his bedside clock.
“3 AM,” he moaned.
The phone rang. Typically, he wouldn’t answer it, but he was already awake.
“Branson. This is Captain Harris,” the familiar voice said. “You were right about the zombie invasion starting at mid-night on Halloween. Only problem is, mid-night on Halloween was this morning and not tonight. You’d better get right in.”
Getting out of bed, Branson kicked his dog where it lay on the floor, sleeping.
When the scratching came again, he reached for his shotgun.

TJ

Hi! Oh, sorry. Hey there, I’m… someone else entirely, my bad. Hey,
nice costume! Oh… sorry. No, it’s still a great costume, just you’re a
dude. Hello? Hello? Anyone? Miss? *”Enjoys a sense of whimsy and
lighthearted fun.” Yeah, thanks eMusicalChairs, that’s, um, all well
and good until, say, someone like Sharon sets up your first meeting at a
Halloween Corn Maze in the middle of a Three Musketeers theme. And has
you both dress like… you guess it… musketeers. Sharon? Sharon? Oh…
hi… costume came with its own mustache as well, hmm. Or, wow, I…
sure hope it did.

Planet Z

Some people pass out candy for Halloween.
But this year, all I seem to do is pass out.
Every time I open the door to step out there, the world goes all swimmy.
What are you, ghost? Zombie? Pirate? Regis Philbin? The One Percent?
Things get dark, and I’m falling.
When I come to, the candy’s gone, maybe I’ve got a bump on my head or a bruise on my arm.
Damn kids. Damn Halloween.
Then I realize I’ve been stepping on the hose to my oxygen mask.
Pulling the tank a little closer to the door should solve it.

Welcome to the 100 Word Stories podcast at podcasting.isfullofcrap.com. I’m your host, Laurence Simon.

This is Weekly Challenge Number Two Hundred and Eighty-Seven, where I post a topic and then challenge you to come up with a 100 word story based on that topic.

The topic this week was Zoo

And we’ve got stories by:

Thomas
Sevda
Peter W.
Laina Ash
Chris Munroe
Zackmann
Tom
Abernathy
Paladin
TJ
Norval Joe
Sachy Rexen
Planet Z

And if you want to spam your social networks with this episode, use the Share buttons at the end of the post.

---

Thomas

It was a zoo in there. Every farewell party they had at the office turned out this way. Mr. Wood, the boss, a small person, took off his clothes and danced on the counter that held the doughnuts and coffee machine. Today, his secretary, Greta, was in the corner by the water cooler. She sobbed and blubbered about leaving for her job in Austin. She would miss Mr. Wood and their impromptu couplings in the copy room, and she would miss Mr. Wood’s attention, and the smell of his cologne. Most of all, she would miss the farewell parties.

##

It was a teasing zoo. Someone had the bright idea, and had the monetary backing of rich, Hollywood, self-indulgent, debauchees. Those invited, and attending the zoo could throw things at the monkeys and squirt water in the faces of the older animals. The zoo was very popular for a while, but when word got out, PETA, the SPCA and several other animal rights groups stormed the zoo and took the operators hostage, only to turn the tides by opening a teasing zoo of their own. This time, the animals had their chance for revenge, and it was horrendous, but funny.

Sevda

The monkey slips his hand into the pocket, gently withdrawing the master key as the attendant slumbers against the enclosure. He scampers over to the door, hands fumbling with the turning of the lock. Nearby animals watch the events unfold. “FREEDOM!” he yells, the enclosure suddenly evacuated. He pauses noticing the longing look from the animals. He sets out on his self appointed quest freeing everyone. Some run, fly, or slither off with glistening eyes of mischief. “RUN!” he chants, scurrying up a tree, swinging branch to branch alongside the zoo’s parade discovering their new life.

Peter Wood

The last rays of sunlight glint over the high perimeter wall as I walk past the food stands, closed for the night, and through the litter left by the other animals – The ones the zoo cannot keep, but let in every day, with their opposable thumbs… and wallets.

The animals they let in make way for the ones they cannot keep out. The lions roar, preparing to sleep but rats are the main residents, as big as cats are ignored by the keeper who approaches.

“Excuse me sir, we’re closed now, can you make your way to the exit.”

Laina Ash

There’s a hippopotamus in my line who can not make up her mind.
A goldfish that can’t stay focus enough to finish the sentence that almost out of his mind.
A group of kittens to interest in what’s happening next to them to tell me what they need.
A dodo that’s living up to his name when I tell him his choices are on his feed.
A bunny that’s to quite to tell me what she wants to eat, that with me speaking up for her to hear me, she thumps and try to flee.
I know I’m the zookeeper today, but I feel like I’m the one in the cage. I guess its just one of those days. *Sighs*

Munsi

“You will not turn this courtroom into a zoo!”

The judge seethed, and I suppose I saw his point. Calling a lion tamer in as a character witness was one thing, but a cage of monkeys as “evidence” in a murder trial was beyond the pale.

Perhaps I should have apologized.

Instead I threw open the cage.

Monkeys exploded out of it, and everything was chaos. Lawyers, bailiffs and jurors scrambled, dodging flying poo as best they could. Hilarious.

I was sad to make my exit amidst that grand chaos.

But I had to. They’d have inevitably found me guilty…

Zackmann

This all started because I am an animal keeper and there was a new program director who did not understand the concept of a morning zoo radio show. Although the noises the animals made voiced more sense than some of the other radio shows especially the extreme left or right wing talk shows. If someone tells you a trained monkey could do a job, they never tried to train a monkey. It was like taking candy from a baby, nearly impossible. Now I am the morning guy. The animals are gone but it the studio still smells of monkey pooh.
zackmann

Hello, have some candy. Since I am at work most of the time I am awake, Halloween is one of the few times I see any of my neighbors.
The teenager asked “Was it your house that had apelike creatures running around it last week? My mother thought that something had escaped form the zoo.”
“Sorta” he replied “I didnt have time to decorate so I called Rent-a-Morlock” “How old is your little brother.”
“He is not really my brother. I thought myself too old to go trick or treating so I called Rent-a-Child so I would have an excuse.”

Tom

The Baltimore Asylum for the Criminally Insane is located in a 250 year old brick star fortress. In its subterranean level is ward 5e, a section surround by walls 14 feet thick. The guards on Ward 5e are rotated every 12 hours. In the American Penal system this facility is where the worst of the worst are warehoused. It is called the Zoo. The reigning King of the Zoo is inmate 471066j Lenard C. Parker. Mr. Parker dispatched a guard to his creator with no more than two sheet of note paper. He did it in less than five minutes.

Abernathy

They met at the same time everyday. The sun was just setting and the zoo was winding down. Nora walked over to Larry. They waited patiently for the last of the visitors to leave. Larry turned to Nora. “Not sure I can do this anymore.” Nora felt his sad gaze and asked. “What choice do you have?” Larry grumbled. Smiling Nora said. “Besides look at the perks and the cool hat you get to wear.” In a deep announcer voice she said. “Lar Lar the Dancing Bear!” Larry forgot he still had the hat on and knocked it off quickly.

Paladin

They said it couldn’t be done. If I hadn’t seen it myself I wouldn’t have believed it either. I’ve seen electric guitars, electric pianos, electric drums, even an electric trumpet once. But she brought something to the music scene nobody’s ever seen before. All it took was one show to make her a household name. No drums, no guitars, not even a vocalist. Just one artist backed by lasers and pryotechnics and fifty foot amps hooked up to a little plastic tube. That was the day the world got to know The ‘Zoo.

TJ

eMusicalChairs.com finally started matching me to people in my area — like Dana, a city assessment worker. She appraised my dress-casual sweater, assessed my manners and bearing. She filed interrogatives regarding my hopes and dreams weighted against her own. She was able to compile a dossier and prospectus on our future together by the time we were ready to leave, but what impressed me most was the PowerPoint presentation she whipped together in support of her arguments. Cold and dispassionate as this was, I actually wanted to meet again. For her, however, the numbers just didn’t add up. Quelle damage.

###

Don’t do this. Just don’t. Don’t meet your blind date at the zoo. This is a surefire recipe for disaster. Especially if you’re FUNNY?! Like me? Thinking I’m just really funny? I mean yeah, there were fake warnings I’d planted in her newsfeed about gorillas loose, and sure my antics in a gorilla costume have brought the house down at parties. But to come up behind her in suit and tie, flowers in hand and say to a nearby small child, “Look son, they were right! One of them’s escaped!” well… that just did not go over well at all.

Norval Joe

Milford Sackhacker went to the zoo everyday at lunchtime and watched the monkeys on thier island. Surrounded by a moat, they were protected from malicious visitors, and at the same time, trapped.
They lived comfortably, yet Milford felt this was wrong. These creatures were denied the rights guaranteed to other primates.
Early one morning Milford dressed as a zookeeper and slipped into the zoo. He rowwed a small boat to their island.
“I’ve come to set you free,” he told them.
Unfortunately, they recognized him from his daily visits and thought he must be a pervert. They ran away, screaming.

Sachy

The Zoo, really?! Ugh. Why is it when I hear the word I just can’t stop all the bad memories. Normally when people hear they are going to the Zoo they think about all of the wonderful things that they can see and experience. Not I. The Zoo just reminds me of the time the orangutan vomited over the glass. Or the time the elephant, Sumba, peed and it got all over my leg. Pandas! PANDAS! Oh, the thought of a panda scares the living crap out of me. Just a friendly PSA, don’t get too close. Ugh, the Zoo.

Planet Z

I remember seeing a zoo where the animals were in cages and there being brass signs saying LION and GORILLA and other names.

Then came open enclosures and plastic signs saying what they ate, where they came from… occasionally they said ENDANGERED or THREATENED.

Audio tours showed up. Clunky infrared headsets and timed tapes in Walkmen. MP3 players followed those.

Now, we punch up videos on smartphones, getting a quick lesson, and a bit of high-handed environmentalism in between the ads.

I watch an oryx standing by the path flicker. Then the zebra behind it.

Holograms.

Food’s was expensive, anyway.