Weekly Challenge #491 – Scoop

Welcome to the 100 Word Stories podcast at oneadayuntilthedayidie.com.

This is Weekly Challenge, where I post a topic and then challenge you to come up with a 100 word story based on that topic.

We’ve got stories by:

Tinny

TURA

Scoop
———
I hit “send” on my report, and relaxed in the glow of a job well done. It had been no easy matter to gain access to the rebel leaders and interview them, while all the other journalists stayed in their cosy hotels and relayed thinly rewritten government communiqués.

Within minutes the reply came back. “Your story an exclusive. Congratulations!”

The rebels’ final assault on the capital was planned for that day, but as the hours went by, there was no sign of any disturbance.

The next morning I received another message from my editor.

“Your story still an exclusive. Why?”

JEFFREY

The Scoop
by Jeffrey Fischer

“Extra!” the paperboy cried, “Mob boss caught in sting!” He waved freshly-inked newspapers above his head. Businessmen on their way home from work slipped him a coin and walked away with a copy. “Read all about it, exclusive to the Register!”

Two beefy men in matching pinstripe suits and fedoras walked up to the boy. One boxed out anyone else from approaching while the other said, “Got a real scoop, do ya, kid?”

“You bet, mister! Only in the Register – find out how the Rotini Family got caught. Those guys are going to jail for years, maybe even… hey, what are you doing?”

“I got a scoop, too. Try this headline: Paperboy Found in Pieces. Sadly, you ain’t going to hawk that particular edition. One of your competitors is gonna get the message out.”

The Most Important Meal
by Jeffrey Fischer

I pulled the box of Raisin Bran from the pantry. I couldn’t remember the last time I had it for breakfast. Giving the box a good shake to distribute the raisins more evenly, I filled a bowl, poured milk, and dug in.

“Mmm, good stuff,” I told my wife as she entered the kitchen. “And unlike most grocery items, Post keeps making it better. Remember how they used to advertise ‘two scoops of raisins’ in the box?” My wife mumbled her assent. “Well, this box seems to have a lot more than that.”

“Seems odd,” she replied, pouring some coffee. “By the way, one of your raisins seems to be escaping.”

I watched a black blob walk across the table and felt sick. “Maybe they now have two scoops of bugs.” My wife, the comedienne.

MUNSI

Lois Lane

By Christopher Munroe

Lois Lane is NOT a good reporter.

There, I said it. Somebody has to. I don’t care how many Pulitzers she’s won off-panel, how many hypothetical stories she broke while nobody reading the comic was paying attention, the scoop of a lifetime sits two desks over, and glasses are NOT a disguise.

I don’t care what steps Clark adds to make discovering he’s Superman harder, noticing things is literally Lois Lane’s entire job, she should be better at it.

That said: Clark Kent, in spite of his powers, is a consistently worse reporter than her, so what does that say?

RICHARD

Gelato

I vividly remember travelling to Rome many years ago on a school trip and the day we stopped at my first genuine gelateria.

They had every variety of ice cream you could possibly imagine, and a few I’d never even considered before. Everything from toffee apple to chocolate and tutti frutti!

Of course, I wanted a scoop of almost every flavour, but in the end I had to settle for six large scoops of my favourite types.

The result was as big as my head, and made me sick as a dog… But to me, it was ice cream heaven!

LIZZIE

Annie hated the smell of the farm and she especially hated John, the handsy foreman. But she liked hay and the color red. What a shame hay wasn’t red.

The farm had a machine that scooped bales of hay and took them for storage. Just for fun, she would go in the barn at night and destroy the bales by forking them and throwing the hay in the air.

When John’s bloodied hand waved faintly from underneath the hay, Annie was stunned. “Ops…” She looked left and right and… forked the pile of hay again. “Well, it’s definitely red now.”

SERENDIPITY

We zombies have received a terribly bad press, you know. So, just for the record, we don’t all shuffle round the streets in torn clothing, slack-jawed and vacant-eyed, groaning and moaning for brains.

Most of us are pretty refined: well-groomed and far prefer to sit at a table, with good quality tableware and pressed linen tablecloths and napkins, when we have our meals, accompanied by good conversation and a decent bottle of Merlot.

Of course, we still eat brains, (remember, we are zombies, after all), but we scoop them out first before serving them up on best quality china plates!

ZACKMANN

I have really been enjoying Murdoch Mysteries and Miss Fisher’s Murder Mysteries on Netflix. I let My wife watch her shows first and she likes Criminal Minds but if frustrates me that after so many years they still seem to be looking for some supervillain called The UnSub. That UnSub guy must be smarter than Professor Moriarty. Dharma’s husband is talking about The UnSub for the third consecutive episode tonight.

I think I will just give up on television for the night and just listen to an audio drama maybe an episode of The Scoop Sisters from Icebox Radio Theater.

TOM

The Name in the Game
His name was not scoop, but that’s what everyone at the paper call him. He
had been a major player in his day. Worked on the Sun, the Trib, the Cron,
and the Times. Lost his edge after Iraq. Now he was doing green sheets for
the Lower Lake Record. Sometimes the fates just dump you into heart of
the beast. So it was for scoop when the Valley Fire rip through Lake Co.
His coverage of the fire went national, then global. Won the Pultzer and
wrote the New York Times bestseller: River of Fire. Teaches down at UCLA
these days.

NORVAL JOE

Henry worked for the Crappy Cat Litter company for thirty years. He started as just a boy and worked his way up from floor sweeper to duty assignment manager.
When the economy took a dump they said he wasn’t carrying his load and had to go. He didn’t see it coming until the stuff hit the fan.
Furious, he stormed across the production floor. He was so pissed off that he wasn’t watching where he was going and fell into a bin of clumpable cat litter. They had to get a tractor with a front loader to scoop him out.

PLANET Z

The spaceship’s design was brilliant.
Scoop charged ions from interstellar space into the front, process them into fuel, and fire boosters out the back.
They made a few scale models, and they ran brilliantly, racing from planet to planet within expected parameters.
So, we built a full-sized working prototype out in orbit.
And it just sat there.
Because we’d managed to scoop up all the free charged ions from around orbit.
Every attempt to add booster rockets ended up bending the chassis.
We turned the prototype into a space hotel.
From where you can watch them build the next spaceship.

Music: http://www.bensound.com/royalty-free-music

Aloe

We drove up to College Station to watch the Aggies play Rice.
The Aggies won, but I got to yell WE SCORED FIRST!
It was a hot day, like every season opener at Kyle Field, and the sunblock was just a way to feel slimy while my skin burned.
When I got home, I stripped everything off and sat in a tub full of sudsy water and aloe gel.
Ohhhhhhh how wonderful it feels.
Better than Jack Daniels, kittens, and porn.
I will soak in this tub for a week.
Until the next game, of course.
(I need more aloe.)

Grass

I have to go to a funeral today.
Most people get all dressed in black for funerals.
I’m no exception, but I do like to go barefoot.
The grass at the cemetery is amazingly soft. So much softer than the grass at the golf course or the city park.
Almost as soft as the grass at the dog park, but there’s dog turds all over the grass there. And dogs.
So, I go to funerals when I can. Barefoot.
The feel of the grass and dirt between my toes.
It feels so good when I dance on the bastard’s grave.

Distance

Growing up, I was close to my parents, but as I got older, I grew distant from them.
At first, it was a few yards… then a few miles.
Pretty soon, they were in the next county over.
By the time I was eighteen, there were several states in between us.
Over the years, it cost a fortune in long distance and postage to keep in touch when we did.
These days, it takes several hours for signals to pass back and forth.
Staring out at the stars, I hurtle through the void, and blink the frost from my eyes.

Games Of Thrones

Somebody tried to get me to read Game Of Thrones, but I’m not all that interested in games. Or thrones.
So games with thrones? Doubly-uninteresting.
Do they play Musical Thrones, where the nobles circle the thrones and all try to sit down when the minstrels stop playing? Last person sitting is the new king?
Or do they play checkers with them?
I don’t think they do. Those thrones on the posters look awfully heavy. And some of them have really sharp edges.
Although the nobles could have their servants pick them up and move them around the room.
How boring.

History Of Art

The East end of Main Street starts with a few yellow hand prints in the middle of the road.
The hand prints give way to hunting scenes, and then simple geometric designs.
As you travel West, the lines in the road progress through the history of painting… Babylonian… Persian… Greek… Roman… at Fulton Street, you get some Byzantine frescoes and mosaics.
A bit of the Dutch Masters and French Impressionists as you pass the Library, then Dadaist and Surrealist before the splattered mess reminiscent of Jackson Pollock.
(That’s not intentional. That’s where the road painter got hit by a bus.)

Bad Baseball

Eight years ago, the Houston Astros were swept by the Chicago White Sox in the World Series.
The once-mighty teams are currently two of the worst teams in baseball, and I am watching them stink up the field with their cheap rookie rosters, with the occasional discount washed-up veteran.
Even the on-air announcers are worse. They’re so bored with the game, they’re watching other games and doing play-by-play on them.
They’re doing a great job with that other game, too.
Maybe they’re doing it to get out of this market and call real games.
I don’t blame them one bit.

Weekly Challenge #490 – Adventure

Welcome to the 100 Word Stories podcast at oneadayuntilthedayidie.com.

This is Weekly Challenge, where I post a topic and then challenge you to come up with a 100 word story based on that topic.

We’ve got stories by:

Myst in lap

JEFFREY

Camp Counselor
by Jeffrey Fischer

Many teens complained about the camp counselor job, but Randy thought it was great. Sure, six-year-olds exhibited separation anxiety, fussed at everything, and were constantly in a vicious circle of drinking juice and peeing. Randy had a secret weapon, however.

Around ten a.m. he would ask his charges, “Who wants to have an adventure?” Amid squeals of delight, he would set half the group to hide near the barn and the other half to hide around the boatyard. (No one ever thought it was odd that everyone hid and no one sought.) Shortly before parents arrived to pick up their precious cargo, Randy would find and wake each of the kids. It never failed to give him a full day to himself.

The Job
by Jeffrey Fischer

The former Ranger scared the crap out of us his first day on the job when he rappelled up the building and swung into the office, spraying glass everywhere. “Hi, I’m Ted.”

The next week, Ted caught Gladys stealing food from the refrigerator. He had her spread-eagled on her stomach and secured her arms with plastic ties until the department supervisor arrived.

When I next saw Ted, he was securing his commando knife in its sheath before his raid on the IT department. I took Ted aside. “Look, man, every employer has its own culture. You’ve got to try to fit in.”

Ted looked perplexed. “What are you saying?”

“Around here, we take the elevator, we don’t hog-tie fat grandmothers, and we don’t slit the throats of IT guys just to get a printer. This isn’t the Army. It’s not an adventure, it’s just a job.”

TURA

Adventure
———
“Mother isn’t coming, is she?” said my son suddenly.

I’d been putting this off, but it couldn’t be avoided any more.

“No. No, she isn’t,” I said at last. “There are some bad men after me. They found your mother…”

He would cry later, but not yet.

“So this is an adventure,” he said. “But…” I waited for him to complete the thought. “Not a story adventure. We don’t know how it turns out.”

“Yes. We just have to make it turn out as best we can.”

We slipped out to the car, and drove off into the silent night.
———

CHARLIE

An adventure gone undone, or sloppily executed is an adventure gone to waste. My adventures are planned with care and deliberation. I consult with experts to plan the simplest adventure. A trip to the other end of the county calls for a check of the running gear on my vehicle, a packed lunch, and water and snacks for the pooch. It also calls for quick message to my personal assistant to remind her to look in on the dogs, check for open windows and doors, and to trigger interior lighting after sundown, including the bank of halogens on the garage.

Second

The reason for my performance-related panic is due to the fact that I suffer from severe, late onset, anxiety disorder, which makes simple adventures or interactions like strolling down the street a disproportionately tensile experience. One of the signifiers of social anxiety is a heightened sense of alertness. The sound of skateboard wheels whirring around the street corner creates a sliver of unease. A bike bell ringing behind me causes me to grit my teeth and raise my iron-tipped cane in order to ready myself for a strike across the rider’s brow, or a quick jab at the bikes spokes.

Third

Her mother named her Adventure. Adventura, formally, but shortened when she started middle school. She was a tomboy. Wearing low-top sneakers, a scraggly ponytail, and a baggy T-shirt—one of the many outfits in her tomboy oeuvre. She avoided tattoos and any piercings because of her ancestry, and her grandmother, who thought they were disfiguring, disgusting, dumb and dull. Adventure didn’t need anything to decorate her body but her shiny, spellbinding eyes, and her mysterious smile. To say the least, she was a tall, thin, knockout. All the boys loved her. The girls loved her, and the gods loved her.

RICHARD

#1 – Out of the Frying Pan

Laggins was not a happy hobbit!

His ruse to replace the Chalice of Eternal Power with his favourite mug had completely failed to fool the wizard, or any other members of their little group.

“I told you I wasn’t cut out for adventure!” He protested; “You tricked me into joining your stupid quest and now you’re complaining because I’m not up to the job! Well… If you’re that interested in dragons and gold, you can damn well go yourself!”

“Fair enough”, said the wizard, “We’ll go – you guard the camp alone… watch out for the goblins and trolls though!”

#2 – Antihero

Why is it that in the movies being in the wrong place at the wrong time always leads to a great adventure?

In my experience, it tends to lead to a whole load of grief, plenty of shouting, and – all too frequently – real physical pain.

I’m just not made from the ‘Right Stuff’ – I’m not at all heroic, tend to avoid trouble at all costs, and if I do happen to find myself in the wrong place at the wrong time, I’ll do whatever it takes to get the hell out of there as fast as possible.

#3 – Infomercial

Life is full of disappointments.

As a child, I felt badly let down by the local ‘Adventure Playground’ – there were no bloodthirsty sharks, pirates, magical mazes or lost cities to explore – just a couple of rope swings, some monkey bars and a crappy slide.

To my young mind, it was overrated hype – a triumph of advertising over reality.

Today, I realise I was being taught a valuable life lesson. Few things measure up to the expectation and the world is full of con artists out to sell you a lie.

The trouble is, we still believe it.

TOM

Max is your Man

The advertisement in the London Times read as follows: ADVENTURE in 20 point Garamond. No follow up address, nor an establishing phone to ring up. Max checked the ad section over the next three weeks and found the same single word reaching out and grabbing his attention. On a whim Max head down to the Times Advertisement Department. A rather crumbed clerk at the desk met his eye. Max replied: ADVENTURE. The Clerk drew a revolver and point it at his head. “Are you quite sure of that young master?” said the clerk. Totally unflustered Max said, “Quite So.”

LIZZIE

The tracking adventure ended abruptly when Lana tripped and fell off a cliff. Instead of the expected anguished agitation, her tracking companions looked down in silence.

“She was never good at this.”

The others shook their heads.

“Should we try to fetch her?”

The others shook their heads.

“Look for help?”

The others shook their heads. And they stood there for a while.

A cell-phone rang.

“It’s Lana’s. Should I answer?”

The others shook their heads. And they continued their tracking adventure.

“Good thing we paused a bit up there. I was getting out of breath.”

The others nodded enthusiastically.

SERENDIPITY

Love’s great adventure turned out to be something of a disappointment – a bit of a misadventure, if you ask me.

Over the last twenty years, I’m sure we’d both considered divorce; maybe even quietly despatching each other with a dose of rat poison, when things became a little heated.

But you don’t… you knuckle down, accept that this is how things are, and count your blessings.

Twenty years – even twenty sad, uninspiring years – merit some sort of celebration.

So, here we are: food, wine, candles, flowers, soppy cards and tired smiles.

(Did I mention the rat poison?)

MUNSI

Adventure!

By Chris Munroe

Life’s an adventure.

Insomuch as you’re stranded on a rock hurtling through space faster than you can possibly comprehend around an atomic furnace that’s constantly exploding.

Life, however, is NOT an adventure insomuch as you, probably, spend much of it doing the same things over and over, both at work and in your “free” time, out of habit rather than genuine desire to partake in said activities, whatever they might be in your particular case.

So, yeah, mixed bag.

If the first thing’s good enough for you, hooray! If not, responsibility to create additional adventure is yours, and yours alone…

NORVAL JOE

My daughter didn’t want to do anything this summer besides talk to her friends on skype and play minecraft.
Ignoring her heated protests, I signed her up for the Isosceles Logic Adventure Camp.
Had I known they would spend eight hours a day for five days doing nothing more than playing sudoku, I probably wouldn’t have signed her up.
It turned out okay and all the kids really got into this Japanese puzzle that actually was developed in America.
They had an intense tournament on the last day of camp and my daughter ended up a second degree black belt.

DANNY

I’ve been listening to the videos of “The Cars” on YouTube allot lately, and I’ve come to two conclusions. One, If I were as good looking as Benjamin Orr, Branka Petrovic would be attracted to me, and two, if Benjamin Orr never saw a doctor, he would have never died of Pancreatic Cancer in 2000. I get it, you feel severe pains in your stomach, time to see a doctor. But where is the sense of adventure? What the hell, I’m going to die anyway. I remain convinced, if I to refuse to see a doctor, I’ll live longer than expected.

PLANET Z

Long ago, I owned an Atari game console.
The graphics were basic and crude. Just colored blocks, really.
One of my favorite games was Adventure.
You were a simple block that sought a rudimentary chalice.
Navigating the maze, you had to avoid dragons.
I remember my heart racing as I dodged their attacks.
The sword was just a simple crude arrow, but it sure killed those dragons.
These days, with the complicated controls and intense 3D 4K graphics, you’d think I’d be lost in these worlds.
It’s too overwhelming for me.
I slide in the Adventure cartridge, and power on.

Summer Heat

In the winter, you need a bed warmer to warm your bed against the deep chill.
This can be an electric blanket, or an old-fashioned pile of sled dogs, or even a young woman from the village.
But how do you do chill a bed for those hot summer nights?
Some people strip down to the sheets, crank up the air conditioning, and drink plenty of ice water before going to sleep.
Or, if the young lass from the village is a cold-skinned vampire, well, that will work too. It’s like hugging an iceberg.
Mind the fangs and claws, though.

Prawns

For her two hundredth birthday, Syrine threw herself a mermaid party.
The surgical alteration tanks grafted on the fish tails and gills with precision, nanobots coursing through their bloodstreams.
For hours, she and her friends swam in the orbital colony’s water basin, circling and playing.
They returned to her home and had themselves changed back in time for the dinner celebration.
Mermaids. Centaurs. Winged angels.
Although the angel configurations couldn’t actually fly, even with low gravity zone assistance.
Swimming was flying through water, wasn’t it?
She flexed a prawn’s tail in her fingers, twisted it, and took a bite.
Delicious.