George the Pirate Helps

George was a pirate, but he wasn’t a very good pirate.
“George,” the other pirates would say. “Help us test the plank.”
George walked along the plank and fell into the water.
The other pirates laughed.
“George,” the other pirates would say. “Help us test the keel haul rope.”
George held the rope as the other pirates tied him up and ran him along the keel.
The other pirates laughed.
“George,” the other pirates would say. “Help us test this hangman’s noose.”
George stabbed the other pirates as they slept in their bunks.
He could only take so much shit.