Santa’s a bit of a traditionalist.
It took a long time for him to let kids mail him their wish lists.
Heck, he still has a fax machine in his office.
Sure, he keeps running out of that thermal paper.
He’s finally coming around to the Internet, email, and the web.
Problem is, Santa Claus the username is taken everywhere.
And how does Santa Claus prove that he’s real and who he says he is?
He just asks the owners of those usernames and domains nicely.
And if they say no, they’re on his naughty list until they give in.