George was a pirate, but he wasn’t a very good pirate.
He was a lily-livered, chicken-hearted coward of a pirate.
The ship’s doctor confirmed this.
“Based on my vast medical and surgical experience with you, George, I can confirm that your liver is almost completely made from lilies, and your heart is identical to that of a chicken.”
“What can you do for me, Doctor?” said George.
“I recommend that you cringe, cower, and flee at the first sign of a fight.”
“But I already do that,” said George.
“Good,” said the doctor. “Here, have a lollipop.”
It was butterscotch.