George was a pirate, but he wasn’t a very good pirate.
This wasn’t just the captain’s opinion.
This was based on a detailed expert measurements, analyzed by the finest statisticians.
George’s metrics were truly abysmal.
This surprised the statisticians, because they had no idea that someone could score that low without getting eaten by a kraken, strangling on a sail’s tie-down, or accidentally blowing their own head off with a cannon.
“You’re not doing this just to screw up our report, are you?” asked the statisticians.
George tried to answer, but he accidentally blew their heads off with a cannon.