George was a pirate, but he wasn’t a very good pirate.
Unlike other pirates, who had parrots, George had a pet rat.
He called it Bilgey.
“It’s a bilge rat,” said George. “Purebred and everything, he’s even got papers.”
“That damn thing has the plague,” said the captain. “Throw it overboard.”
George pulled out the papers. “One of these says that he’s an Emotional Support Animal. That means you have to let me keep him.”
The captain killed the rat and fed it to a mangy wharf dog.
“Wait a day,” said the captain. “You can keep what comes out.”