George was a pirate, but he wasn’t a very good pirate.
He held his cutlass wrong, and tended to strike people with the dull side of the blade.
“NO!” shouted the cutlass coach. “Use the sharp end!”
“Oh,” said George, adjusting his grip. “How’s this?”
“That’s even worse!” growled the coach. “If you strike with the flat of the blade, you’ll shatter it.”
He took the cutlass out of George’s hand, slapped him with it, and put it in George’s hand properly.
“Try that,” said the coach.
George stabbed the coach.
“Much better,” said George. “Thank you.”
He didn’t respond.