George the drunk

George was a pirate, but he wasn’t a very good pirate.
He drank a lot, and the Coast Guard constantly cited him for BUI.
“But I’m not in a boat,” said George. “I’m just walking the pier.”
“But you’re walking to your boat,” said the Coast Guard.
“Where I plan to sleep this off,” said George. “The boat’s securely moored, it’s going nowhere.”
The Coast Guard accompanied George to the spot where his boat was moored…
Well, had been moored.
“Okay, so I’m not so good with knots,” said George. “So, can you help me file a missing boat report?”