George was a pirate, but he wasn’t a very good pirate.
After every battle, George would gather up the dead, wrap their bodies in sheets, and plan for their burial at sea.
He did his best to write eloquent eulogies for every one of them.
Devoted sons who sent back a share of their loot to their mothers…
Good husbands, good providers…
Despite the many carnal temptations, always faithful…
“So, how do you know so much about everyone,” asked the captain.
“Oh, I just make shit up,” said George, and he shoved the wrapped bodies into the sea. “Anybody else?”