George was a pirate, but he wasn’t a very good pirate.
He was good about filing his tax returns, though.
He expensed his hat, boots, sword, and other essential equipment.
Which is why he got audited every year.
“You’re a… pirate?” said the auditor, looking at George’s paperwork. “If you perform at birthday parties, you’re an entertainer.”
“No, I’m a pirate,” said George. “Just not a very good one. I supplement my income with birthday parties.”
The auditor calculated the fine.
George tied him to a chair and set the room on fire.
Like we all wish we could do.