George was a pirate, but he wasn’t a very good pirate.
His 23andMe profile determined that he was only 25% pirate, suggesting that he could increase his percentage with exercise, practice, and dietary supplements.
George got a gym membership, paying extra for the network of gyms so he could use them at whichever port the ship docked.
And his doctor prescribed Placebo.
“No generics,” said the doctor. “I know that the name-brand is expensive, but it’s worth it.”
George worked out, took the pills, and studied hard for a month.
23andMe and his doctor determined that he was 100% sucker.