- Richard
- Lisa
- Lizzie
- Serendipidy
- Tom
- Norval Joe
- Planet Z
LISA
Trolling Trolling Trolling
After adding a filter Sherry uploaded the photo and waited for the influx of comments and messages. She believed everything horrible posted; it was only a fresh flurry of negativity that washed the first lot away.
She counted the negative comments as they came in. Already they were up to 25 in just three minutes. As usual, she hovered over Delete Post.
Then a comment popped up “YOU STINK!”
She laughed. Knowing she HAD forgotten deodorant that morning. But how would they know? And did it matter?
It didn’t. She felt she’d turned a corner and posted happily ever after.
Thanks for organising… Hope you well
RICHARD
— Fragrant —
I could see immediately that something wasn’t quite right. It was the grimace and the way she screwed up her nose in disgust that gave it away.
“Is there something wrong” I asked, gingerly.
Frowning, she responded “I don’t quite know how to tell you this, but, honestly, you stink!”
Well, I’d say she knew exactly how to tell me what was on her mind!
“I’m sorry, it’s my job. The chemicals I have to work with…” my voice tailed off in resignation.
“No, it’s not that. It’s that bloody aftershave that you always insist on wearing. It’s absolutely foul!”
LIZZIE
You stink. Give me your clothes. I’ll wash them. Why not? You can’t stay here if you stink. You’re going to stink up the whole place. Give them to me. Hurry up. I don’t have all day to deal with this. Well, you’re going to put something else on, of course. What do you mean? Where are all your clothes, then? You what?! Why would you do that? Because it’s crazy. Now, you have no clothes. Give me your clothes right now. What are you doing? No, no. Ok, keep them on, just don’t…
A scream and some laughter ensued.
SERENDIPIDY
Here’s the problem with being one of the undead. One you’ll never read about in books, or see in the movies, although it should be obvious, really.
The fact of the matter is that you stink.
All that rotting flesh, decay, and hanging around in crypts and graveyards has a fairly predictable outcome.
Then, there’s our diets, and what follows from feasting on large quantities of protein and blood.
As for personal hygiene… When did you ever hear of a vampire or zombie taking a nice, long, hot shower?
You may not hear us coming, but you’ll definitely smell us!
TOM
Reset
To preform is too fail. A near infinite gathering of uncontrollable factors can bring your magic trick to its knees, if your trick had actually knees. While in the current polite culture we live, we aren’t likely to hurl vegetables at a magician. All the same one should not discount the possibility one strongly opinionated person might offer the following insightful review of your work: you suck. It hurts no less if it just lingers in their eyes. I can take solace is a story told by Jim Cary when a guy from the audience tossed a piss soaked towel in his face. Now that active suckiness.
NORVAL JOE
The cops lifted the intruder. Harry made a face. “Dang, buddy. You stink.” And they dragged him out the door.
“What did that guy want?” Billbert asked.
His mother watched out the window as the police drove away. “He wanted to know where Sabrina is.”
“He was wasting his time.” Billbert shrugged. “We don’t know where she is.”
“Not exactly,” Mr. Weinerheimer raised his eyebrows at his wife.
His wife nodded. “A clairvoyant from work found her in a house near Highland Avenue and Nevada Street and said she’s safe.” Before Billbert could move, she added, “It’s late. Go to bed.”
PLANET Z
Clarence fell out of a tree and broke his leg when he was seven. He was in a cast for a few months. Still, he wanted to go outside and play with his friends, even though he was on crutches. He ended up all dirty and muddy and scratched up every day, his mother had to hose him off outside. Dirt would still get inside the cast, and they had to replace it twice to keep his skin from petrifying. The day the cast came off, he tried to get up the tree again and fell and broke his other leg.