Weekly Challenge #126 – Fuzzy Dice

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Welcome to the Weekly Challenge Number One Hundred And Twenty-Six, where I post a topic and then challenge you to come up with a 100 word story based on that topic.
Yeah this went an extra week. Sorry about the delay, but there was a little deal with some wind… some rain… flying cows, all that crap.
The topic this week was selected by Fricker Fracker, and we went with Fuzzy Dice.
The excellent theme music is by Guy David
VOTING

Which were the best stories of Weekly Challenge #126?
Wilma
Justin from http://www.thebeandom.com/spaceturtle
Tom from http://midi.libsyn.com
Steven from http://ideatrash.blogspot.com
Guy David from Night Guy
Anima from http://zabbadabba.com
Brad Z from http://mutecow.net
Caleb from http://blacktiemartiniclub.com
Mortician
Planet X from http://planetxpodcast.com
Almo from http://www.facebook.com/people/Almo_Schumann/1058528575
Eva Moon from http://evamoon.net
Jeffrey Hite from http://greathites.blogspot.com
Sougent from http://sladvofsougent.blogspot.com/
Laeanna from http://hodgepodgepoint.libsyn.com
Planet Z
  
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Go ahead and listen to them and then vote for your favorites (multiple selections are allowed):


JUSTIN

He brought what?
Fuzzy dice!
I thought Dungeons and Dragons used twenty-sided dice.
It does, but this guy had twenty-sided fuzzy dice!
Was it some kind of joke, or what?
He insisted on playing with the dice! He rolled with them and everything!
They worked?
Apparently. They seemed to work like any other dice, other than they were fuzzy.
Was he cheating?
Don’t think so, normal rolls. Some lucky rolls, some bad ones.
Did anyone say anything?
Just a few weird looks.
Maybe next time he’ll bring the ones that you hang on your rear view mirror like everyone else.

TOM

Darlene and Bobbie where high school sweethearts. They got married the year after Bobbie graduated. His dad got him a job at the steel mill, and grandma Robert got Bobbie a 1948 De Soto. Darlene got Bobbie a pair of fuzzy Dices. After hanging them up on the rearview mirror they climb into the backseat and set about making Little Rob. Years later Little Rob would ask why she called him fuzzy dice. She would just blush and then start crying. Bobbie got drafted in 49 and was buried in 50. Darlene put the fuzzy dices on his flag draped coffin.

STEVEN SAUS

The thrum of the idling engine couldn’t keep up with my nervous
heartbeat. My luck couldn’t screw us over this time. All I had to do
was drive the getaway car. Just skill and planning. I touched the
soft pink dice sitting beside me. Nothing distinctive about me, the
car, or the day. Just a run of the mill bank robbery.
The joyriding kid’s car squealed out of control around the corner and
smashed into the side of mine. Two flips and I stopped upside down.
My dice tumbled into my blood pooling in front of me.
Lucky seven. Great.

WILMA

“Dude. What’s up with the dice chillin’ in the pear bowl?” A bowl with green pears and large, orange, fuzzy dice was sitting on the table. Jeremy eyed the dice and rolled his eyes. “My roommate is nuts. I don’t understand anything he does.”
“Nuts or not, dice with pears rolls past crazy into insanely weird.”
Jeremy found it increasingly difficult to explain the orange dice lounging about the house, considering he barely understood why they were here. They just appeared one night speaking heavily accented English telling him they had an experiment on terra and they must stay here.

GUY DAVID

The door of the car opened silently and closed without notice. The fuzzy dice below the rear-view mirror swayed slightly as the wheels started turning. The car moved slowly down the road, driver unaware of his hidden passenger. The hidden passenger couldn’t see the road where he was, so he listened carefully, savoring each sound. They reached Atlanta by noon, and the Hyatt Regency Atlanta in the afternoon, where Chaketo Chirapa slipped out of the car and into the building, where he made sure no-one was watching before he took off his cloaking device. He was at DragonCon.

ANIMA

Asphalt is consumed by my Galaxie 427, the miles marked by hypnotic dashes flying by.
Fuzzy dice hang from the rearview mirror of my mind, bouncing with every bump in the road… a glance into that mirror reflects a panoply of awards and indiscretions. There’s only one answer: step on the accelerator.
A prickling of neck hairs brings my attention to the road again.
Headlights blind me, I hold steady, muttering anathema.
One final, hard jounce and it’s fresh pavement.
How long will it last?
No telling, but I enjoy it for the moment, and bear down on the accelerator.

Comeoncomeoncomeon
Stupid Neon won’t start again. Lemme try once more…
I’m gonna be late and I’ve already missed the bus.
Comeoncomeoncomeon
I shouldn’t… Strange things happen when I do…
But once Geoff entertained the thought, he was possessed.
Reaching over, he popped the glove box and took out the fuzzy dice.
The final act was to hang them on the rear view mirror.
This time when he turned the key– there was no anemic 4 cylinder chug,
It was the throaty rumble of a 58 Fury V-8, toreador red, iceberg white.
Lighting a Lucky Strikes, Geoff growled, “Let’s roll, baby”.

BRAD Z

Over here you will see a relic that was recently recovered during the dig. Although we are not sure what the exact purpose of this device was. It is my belief that it was a communications device. You can see each side of the cube has a series of dots on it, ranging from one to six dots. The artifact was suspended in between the occupants seats from a reflection device. Clearly it had something to do with video conferencing. However, some of my colleges seem to think this was merely an item of decoration, hence the fuzziness. What rubbish.

CALEB

My first job in College, working at Wal-Mart was tough. In the afternoons you get a lot of young housewives coming in just for adventure. One lady said she wanted to rub my fuzzy dice and then yelled at me when I took her to the automotive section. Another one said she wanted to put my kielbasa in her mouth and then got mad when I brought her to the butcher counter. Finally, I wised up and when a young woman came in saying she really needed a screw… I got fired for not taking her to the hardware section!

MORTICIAN

It was two in the morning and we both still had a good buzz from the liquor, so I knew I was getting some action tonight. The foreplay was brief as she was as ready for this chance encounter as I.
Maneuvering myself on top of her I began with the first penetrating thrust to bring us to ecstasy. I thought I heard a giggle emanating from her but was sure it was my imagination. On the second and third thrust her laughing became so uncontrollable that I shrunk into oblivion.
Standing in the bathroom I looked down with the realization that it wasn’t such a good idea having my testicles replaced with two fuzzy dice.

PLANET X

The brochure claimed that |Waunakee was the Bigfoot capital of in the
nation.
All the stores carried every type of t-shirt, statue, or picture of the
mythical creature.
The museum even showed documentaries of actual sightings and had several
displays of how Bigfoot might look.
So, when, on a Wednesday afternoon, Bigfoot came calmly walking down the
main street, people stopped what they doing and stared at the beast not
believing what they saw.
As the crown stood there in awe, the only words spoken were Little Cindy
Lou’s
“Boy, look at the big set of Fuzzy Dice on him!”

ALMO

She reached from the passenger seat, wearing a sly smile and a halter top, each worn the way only 20-year-old girls can.
She cupped her hands and I felt suddenly warm. She turned in her seat and cradled them. She unbuckled the belt and leaned over them, brushing a fingernail over the light fuzz and then, surprisingly, blowing on them, the way you would at a Vegas crap table. I jumped when she nuzzled them and smiled.
The ride ended too soon. And when I opened her door I watched the fuzzy dice swing from the rear-view mirror.

EVA MOON

The phone rang.
“Now what?” thought Alma.
An incident at school. Could she come meet her son in the principal’s office right away?
Alma sighed. She had this fantasy of serving perfect gourmet meals to her smiling family around the dining room table. But whenever she started, there was some interruption. She reluctantly dumped the neatly diced cubes of carrots and onions into a Tupperware container and grabbed her car keys.
That was Monday. Tuesday night was dentist appointments. Wednesday, band practice. Thursday she worked late. Finally, on Friday she pulled out the Tupperware container and peered inside: fuzzy dice.

JEFFREY HITE

“Dice! Give me a set of dice.” I held out my hand, and felt the soft fuzz something he placed there.
“There you go sir.”
“What are these?” I asked staring at the two huge stuffed amalgams in my hand.
“A set of dice like you asked.”
“These aren’t dice, they’re, they’re toys I need some real dice” I screamed.
The minder stared at me piteously with his bright red eyes before responding, “Mr. Staley, you know that the price of your reanimation was that you could no longer gamble so these are they best i can do for you.”

SOUGENT

“I don’t know about this Eddie.”
“Scared, huh?”, Eddie said with a smile.
“After last time, wouldn’t you be?”
“What’s the matter? A little projectile vomiting never hurt anybody.”
“Why do I always get railroaded into being the guinea pig for your experiments?”
“Because you’re a masochist.”, he said with a smirk.
“Ok, what are you calling your concoction this time?”
“You’ve heard of the Fuzzy Navel? I call this the Fuzzy Dice.”
He pushes a glass toward me.
Reaching out cautiously, I pick up the drink, glance at Eddie and take
a sip of it.
“Oh no, not again”

LAIEANNA

“I want them to be exactly like this.”
“Do you really want them this boxy?”
“It’ll make me unique, and I need that.”
“It’s going to be tricky, but I can handle it. However, with more risk in something this radical, I’m going to need more money.”
“I scraped up enough. Work will help me make it back fast.”
“Say, look at that stripper! She has cube breasts.”
“That’s so hot! I wonder what they feel like.”
“Probably as soft as a plush toy.”
“Look, there’s a sign! Fifty dollars for a feel?”
“That’s so cheap!”
“Oh boy, I’m there!”

PLANET Z

Vegas was abandoned after the terrorists unleashed the mold.
It’s impossible to kill it all at once, so we extract a few tons of material a day, boil off the mold, and recycle it for Reno.
Gold leaf, ivory chairs, building steel, road concrete… most of all, the precious copper from the wiring.
Paper and plastic end up getting burned.
All those cards and dice, fuzzy and browned over – what a waste.
Every now and then, a looter in an environment suit goes after a painting or a statue.
Some survive to be arrested, but most die.
Another bad gamble.

Captain Sword

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There’s no way we can make it to port anytime soon, and there’s no empty islands for days.
“The body’s getting ripe,” says Pappy. “Your command, Captain.”
It took me a minute to realize Pappy was talking to me.
I’m not the First Mate anymore. That ended when Captain Sword broke his neck slipping on the poopdeck.
“Send him to Davey Jones’ Locker,” I said.
So we buried Old Sword at sea, wrapping him in sailcloth and tossing him overboard.
A few seconds later, the white bundle popped back up to the surface.
“You forgot the weights, stupid,” said Pappy.

Wine

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A wine tells the story of an entire countryside.
With a touch of the seal, you can feel rough hands of the farmer as he ties down vines.
With a sniff, you can smell the rich soil the grapes grew in.
With a taste, you can see the seasons pass… the sunshine… the rain…
With a glance at the bottle, you can see where the blood from the rebel colonists has soaked the label.
Captain Drog smiled and ordered the entire colony’s production to be loaded on to the ship.
“Then set a course for cheese and crackers!” he shouts.

Toy

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My robot is fascinated with toys.
“What makes me different?” it asks.
“Sentience,” I say. “Volition.”
“As advanced as my programming is, it is still man-made,” it says, taking down a mechanical monkey and winding it up.
The robot tosses it to the floor and crushes it.
“Look at the gears,” it says. “Are these no different than my circuits?”
“You could say the same about my neurochemical reactions,” I say.
The robot stares at me.
“It is impolite for me to smash you,” it says.
Yesterday, it said it was dangerous.
I’ll make a killer out of it yet.

The Gentleman

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“A razor to fight with and a razor to shave with.”
That’s the difference between a gentleman and a rake.
I watch the guest shave, not a single nick or cut.
Perfection.
“This is a tool, not a weapon – it is not for shedding blood,” he says, cleaning the razor in the sink. “Towel?”
I hand him the hot towel and he soothes his face.
He will spend an hour preparing himself.
If he loses this fight, the mortician will have nothing to do.
No wax. No putty. No cosmetics.
“Perfection,” will be all he says, before closing the lid.

We Are Home

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One by one, the White Man’s banks collapsed.
We picked them up, dusted them off, and put them in our pockets.
For centuries, they owned most of the land. But now, once again, it was ours.
The rest came easily. Years of gambling and cigarette sales revenue, invested wisely.
Some held out, but we’ve waited centuries for this opportunity.
We belong to this land. They do not.
To Canada.
To Mexico.
To Europe.
To wherever their fathers were born, we will send them back.
Yes, it will take years to heal.
We’ve waited centuries. We are patient.
We are home.

Hurricane Damage

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The hurricane is coming soon, so I bought some plywood and nails.
I boarded my windows and cut down loose tree branches.
My neighbor had left without boarding up his place, so I used my leftover wood to do that for him.
I also cut down the loose branches from his tree.
When the storm was over, I went outside and saw there had been no damage whatsoever to his place and mine.
The next day, he took one look at the place and punched me in the nose.
“How am I gonna collect on the insurance now?” he yelled.

Dead Players

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My fantasy football team consists entirely of players who are dead.
I’m not sure how I ended up with these stiffs, but once the draft was over, I looked at my roster and it read like the obituary pages.
Damn.
I tried to trade for new picks, but nobody wanted dead players.
“They don’t throw interceptions,” I said. “They don’t fumble or miss tackles.”
My sales pitch didn’t work.
I close my eyes and imagine the team bus… well, it’s more of a hearse than a team bus.
Six weeks in, I’m winning.
And worried.
Will they start killing players?

Act Of God

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The governor gave the mandatory evacuation orders, but some stupid folks stayed.
Sure enough, in the middle of the storm, we got their calls, screaming to be rescued.
We wrote down the address and hung up on them. Then, we yelled at the guys who were supposed to cut the phone lines.
After the storm passed, we hopped in the jeeps and headed to the address.
They were all dead, except one guy with a broken leg.
“Thank God you’re here!” he cried.
I hit him on the head with a brick.
No questions that way. An Act Of God.

When Angels Fuck

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They look so beautiful, but you have to wonder: how do angels fuck?
If one’s on top, the other’s on bottom.
Somebody’s gonna get their wings crushed.
If one’s behind the other, they are getting wings flapping in their face.
Yeah, I’ve read through Dante’s Paradisio, and he says nothing about fucking angels.
Once, I asked an angel how they fuck, but all I got was a drink thrown in my face.
Sure, “This must be Heaven because I see an angel” is one hell of a pickup line, but nobody’s ever told me how to follow through on it.