Nobody ever asked me to sign their yearbook.
And nobody signed mine.
Because I don’t have any yearbooks.
Either I threw them out or didn’t pick them up in the first place.
I don’t really care about anyone from high school.
It was a horrible place. And I’d rather not remember anything about it.
As for college, it wasn’t so bad. It wasn’t bad at all.
And I had a lot of photos from college saved up.
Which I lost in a fire.
The college yearbooks are all scanned online.
I have them bookmarked.
But none of them are signed.
The real disease
When you were a kid, if other kids were shitty to you, you probably grew up into someone who didn’t want to have kids.
Ned grew up bullied and beaten, and didn’t he have many friends growing up.
He tried dating, but so many women wanted to get married and have kids.
So, sure, he fucked around, but he always wore a condom.
And the women who’d poke holes in it to trap him, well, they still didn’t get pregnant.
You wear a condom to keep from getting an STD, but get a vasectomy to prevent the real disease… kids.
Rent a Rosa
Towards the end of her life, Rosa Parks’ family would wheel her from event to event.
The mayor of the day would declare Rosa Parks Day and hold up a document or a key or something.
People would cheer and they’d get Rosa to smile and wave.
One of the family would speak on Rosa’s behalf, say that the country still had a long way to go, civil rights and slavery and profiting off of black suffering, yadda yadda.
Then they’d collect the check and load Rosa into the back of the bus.
And they’d drive to the next event.
Talent or skill
I know I rarely post photos of Myst.
It’s hard to photograph a black cat with low indoor lighting.
And even with the most advanced phone and camera, well, I’m still a rookie with it.
I adjust the aperture and timing and… still… blotch cat.
Maybe I should use the time off to learn the features and interfaces they show off in the commercials.
Or take one of their classes.
This is the difference between cookbooking and truly mastering a craft or set of tools.
Composition vs. snapshotting.
I guess I’m better at writing about it than actually doing it.
January 6
Years ago, on January 6, there was a riot in the Capitol Building.
And Congress has set up a committee to investigate the riot.
I am looking forward to that January 6 Committee coming to the conclusion that January 6th should be abolished.
Go straight from the 5th to the 7th. Problem solved, right?
And then, to keep the year 365 days long, tack another day on to February.
Make it February 29th.
Well, what about leap years, you ask.
On leap years, they tack on another February 29th.
And everyone will stand and applaud.
Until the next riot starts.
Matt the Whore
I recently saw Matt Damon saying in a “fortune favors the bold” in a commercial.
He was playing off of his astronaut persona from that Mars movie.
Not that he’s ever actually gone to Mars.
So, it was more like a “I’m not a doctor, but I play one on television” level of arrogance, only he’s serious.
He was hawking cryptocurrency.
If he believes in it so much, he should ask to be paid in it.
Hell, every employee of that company should.
Otherwise, he’s just another Hollywood whore, as empty and vacuous as his “Team America World Police” marionette.
Weekly Challenge #945 – Blood is thicker than water
LISA
a Secret Meet
It felt right from the start. There was never any question of me leaving but he gave me all the reasons I should stay.
He’d laughed as he said ‘Blood is Thicker than Water’ but stressed that my parents had forgotten me; we were leaving behind the traditional and sharing this special experience. We were family now.
He brushed my hand as he talked, held my gaze as we walked. I’d joined the police to feel part of something but as the only woman in my station I hadn’t felt like I fitted in. He made me feel special.
Loved.
LIZZIE
“There’s an issue… The whole village drank water from the creek. No one said blood was thicker than water anymore. Brothers attacked brothers, fathers ambushed mothers, grandparents turned on neighbors.”
“Neighbors?”
” Yes. That was the only exception.”
“Ahm…”
“I know. We went a bit overboard.”
“Do you realize that now we won’t get the grant? We will never be able to convince them that proverbs are our way in.”
“Yes, well, but that was a bit of a silly idea in the first place. Humans are insane. Let’s try that other planet with the little green men.”
“Why? Oh, why?!”
RICHARD
Thicker
They do say that blood is thicker than water, which I’m reliably told, means family comes first.
Clearly, whoever coined that expression never met any of my family.
Believe me, if they were yours, you’d want to disown them too.
It’s not that they’re particularly unlikeable, or that they’ve intentionally done anything to deserve being side-lined.
The truth of the matter is that using their brains is an alien concept to them.
If it’s dumb decisions, idiotic plans, or simply not having a clue, they’re first in line.
I don’t know about blood being thicker.
Because they, are thick as…
SERENDIPIDY
It’s only when it starts to congeal that blood is thicker than water. Just try slitting a wrist and you’ll see just how freely the red stuff flows!
However, personally, I prefer to leave it a while. I like to let it thicken a bit, like soup left to simmer on the stove. Thicker, means more concentrated, a more intense flavour; an altogether more enjoyable experience.
Not everyone’s cup of tea, of course.
Some would rather it thin, and runny.
Each to their own.
But I’ll take intense and robust over tasteless and insipid, any day.
You should try it!
NORVAL JOE
As the nurse left the room, Sabrina lay back and closed her eyes.
The shooting had been days before and she still had a unit of blood hanging on the IV pole.
Billbert thought, ‘Blood is thicker than water. Where will she go with her only relative dead?’
As if she heard his thoughts, Sabrina asked, “Where is Buhmilda?”
Billbert swallowed. Was he the one to break this news? “Um.”
Sabrina squeezed his hand. “It’s okay. I know she’s dead. We stood together and watched them carry our bodies away. She stayed with her body, and I went with mine.”
TOM
To feel envy is human, to savor schadenfreude is diabolic Arthur Schopenhauer
Blut ist dicker als wasser was a play written by Franz Klass. It is based on Christoph Starke, “Synopsis bibliothecae exegeticae in Vetus Testamentum,” Leipzig, 1750. The three central characters representing the three driving forces behind schadenfreude – aggression, rivalry, and justice. The setting drawn from Byron’s poem Childe Harold’s Pilgrimage. The metaphor of the Roman holiday run through the work where a gladiator in ancient Rome expects to be “butchered to make a Roman holiday” while the audience would take pleasure from watching his suffering. Across the back-drop the phrase is Xing zai le huo scrawled in red paint
PLANET Z
No moon tonight, so we walk to the border site.
John and I put on our gloves and we take the water and food out of the wagon.
“Do you think what we’re doing is right?” John asks, as he takes the top off of his canteen.
“Stop,” I say.
“Damn,” John says. “I keep forgetting.”
We finish with the site and head back, tossing the contaminated gloves and the canteen into the wagon.
I hand John my canteen and he drinks.
“What we’re doing is wrong,” I say. “But what they’re doing is wrong, too.”
John nods and smiles.
CHATGPT
Ella always believed in the saying, “Blood is thicker than water.” Family first, she thought, no matter what. But when her sister, Clara, betrayed her trust by spreading lies, Ella felt shattered. Seeking solace, she turned to her best friend, Sam, who had always been there, no questions asked. As days turned into weeks, Sam stood by Ella, offering support and understanding. Ella realized that family isn’t always defined by blood, but by those who genuinely care. Sam’s unwavering loyalty taught her that sometimes, the bonds we choose are stronger than the ones we’re born with.
The Serpents of Cape Cod
When I was little, my parents dragged us to Cape Cod to suffer a hot summer in a cabin without air conditioning.
I cheatcoded the diner’s Galaga game out of infinite lives.
But couldn’t keep from them forever.
Out at the beach, the cheap suntan lotion washed off, and I sunburned my calves horribly.
Instead of taking me to a clinic, they forced me to crawl everywhere like an animal.
Made worse by a performance of Annie Oakley by the local amateur theatre group.
When I cried from the pain, they’d smack me.
“Don’t make a scene,” the serpents hissed.
The arms dealer
Victor was born in the Soviet Union, and his country collapsed around him.
Serving in Russia’s army for a time, making connections for his later role as an arms dealer.
Many regimes who bought weapons from Victor.
Massacre after massacre, yet Victor claimed not to have their blood on his hands.
When Victor died and went to Hell, he pled his case before Satan.
“If not me, someone else would have sold them the guns, tanks, and planes,” claimed Victor.
Satan nodded, and assigned demons to torture Victor for eternity.
“Your blood is not on my hands either,” remarked Satan.
The casting trapeze
There are so many stories about the so-called Hollywood casting couch, where producers and directors force young starlets to do things to get a role or keep a role.
Wally never had a couch.
He had a trapeze.
And the things he made those young women do, well, they were actually kind of awesome.
Strictly acrobatically speaking, of course. There was nothing sexual about it.
The backflips, the catching Wally in mid-air, the spinning and the lit torches…
It was like his own private circus in there.
Until one starlet spoke out.
And it became a huge public media circus.