Insurance auditor checked the statistics of Highway 10 and noticed a dramatic increase in the number of accident claims. He drove down to Highway 10 and didn’t notice anything unusual. No construction, no dangerous on ramps or off ramps. So he turned around and was coming home when he noticed a billboard with one of those codes you scan with your phone on it so he did and promptly got into an accident. When he came to in the emergency room, he picked up his phone. Through the cracked screen, saw the code was for his insurance company’s website.
Thunderball
50 years ago, Hamilton Gotha appeared as Blitzkrieg on the German version of the American gladiators television series. Just like his American counterpart, when he wasn’t on camera, he was soaking in ice baths and shooting up with steroids and painkillers. He knocked out a lot of contestants, and put several in the hospital. When he killed a contestant on the Thunderball game, the series was suspended and Hamilton was arrested. The charges were reduced to unintentional manslaughter. He was released and put on probation. These days, he runs a bar in Berlin and cuts off, overly intoxicated customers quickly.
Odysseus
There’s this movie that’s out from a famous director that’s supposed to be really epic and powerful and amazing on giant screens. And there is a big screen in the resort town across the bridge. However, they say that the sound mixing is bad and muddy and my hearing isn’t so great. And there’s some really goofy casting that are politically motivated. However, reviewers on both sides of the political spectrum say it is a spectacle. One that you have to see on the big screen. But it’s three hours long, and I’d have to go to the bathroom twice.
Swag
When I work for a company, sometimes they send out marketing swag. Little worthless trinkets that have the company logo on them. When I leave a company, I tend to throw these away. Unless they’re really useful, like an Eddie Bauer travel cooler that was really nice, but it had the company name on the side. I don’t want to be reminded of this company every time I use it.. I tried to cover up the logo, but in the end, I gave the cooler away to a friend.. let them associate the cooler with me so it’s good memories
11 Downing Street
You know who lives at 10 Downing Street, but do you know who lives at 11 Downing Street?
It’s Nigel Smith. He’s lived across the way from the Prime Minister for thirty years.
And he hates it.
Every morning, some reporter or security guard steals his newspaper or a bottle of milk from his delivery.
It’s so hard to get to his car with the crowds of press.
And the noise at all hours from protestors shouting and throwing things.
Why doesn’t he move somewhere quieter?
“I was here first!” he growls. “Make that pompous arsehole and his gang move!”
Weekly Challenge #1056 – Beginning
- Lizzie
- Richard
- Tom
- Serendipidy
- Norval Joe
- Planet Z
The next topic is PICK TWO
Speeches
Discard
Mine
An empty cup
Kitchen
RICHARD
The Word
In the beginning, was the word.
And that word was ‘in’.
It’s right there, at the opening to this piece.
A simple, unassuming word. Just two letters; nothing special about it.
Other than the fact it conveys that sense of place, of presence, of the here and now… even way back when.
It’s not ‘at’ the beginning, ‘on’ the beginning, or even ‘around’ the beginning.
You’re in the moment, partaking of it, at one with it. An intrinsic part of that very point where nothing becomes something, and the intangible becomes reality.
Not bad for a simple two-letter word.
SERENDIPIDY
The detective was one of those ‘no nonsense’ types. Methodical, organised and rather intolerant.
“Let’s start at the beginning, shall we? Where were you at the time of the murder?”
He knew, as well as I, exactly where I was, but as far as I was concerned it wasn’t my job to tell him, it was up to him to work it out and build a cast iron case.
My job was simply to come up with an alibi, and in doing so, I would ruin all his hard work.
Still, that’s what he was paid for.
More fool him.
LIZZIE
Many years later, he went back up the hill. The tire swings were still there. He swayed his legs back and forth as they had done. Why did it have to happen? Why? The cold night embraced him, cuddling him in its arms. He started to cry. Why can’t I go back and undo everything? In the distance, he heard a train. Their train. The train that would take them away one day. The train that had killed her… At sunrise, he dried his tears and finally summoned the courage to take the train. For you. For us, he shouted.
TOM
Sugar Babies
In the beginning there was sugar. Lots of sugar. River, Mountains, a great desert of sugar. The people put sugar in all the foods they ate. God sat back figure if everyone was happy, he would just go an holiday. While god come up with real cool stuff, like sugar. I would take the blackest heart of the monkey people to come up with Multi Global Corporations. It took sometime but, in the end, they controlled all the sugar on the planet. Life became sad. When god back for holiday he saw how unhappy everyone was so he invented chipotle.
NORVAL JOE
With the light of understanding beginning to shine in Patrick’s eyes, he glanced at the door.
Mandi, who’s perception was greater than what Sabrina gave her credit for, shouted, “Billbert. Stop him.”
He couldn’t disobey and lunged for Patrick as he dashed for the door. Though the boy was twice Billbert’s size, the strength of Mandi’s ring more than compensated and the two tumbled to the floor.
“Thanks Mandi. I’ll take it from here,” Mrs. Weinerheimer said, and turned to Patrick. “Have a seat, dear. We need to talk.”
Patrick got up, brushed himself off, and obediently sat down.
PLANET Z
Randy was a pretty strange guy. Long greasy hair and backwards, baseball cap. Tall man, making biscuits at the chicken shack. He’d start every batch with quoting the Bible in the beginning. But it go in strange directions with his narrative as he mixed in the buttermilk and needed the dough, rolled it out, cut out the biscuits and put them on the tray and slid them in the oven. He’d speak of dark shadows and strange tentacles from space and weird ceremonies to summon them to ravage the planet. But goddamn, his biscuits were the best I’ve ever tasted.
Maynard
My cousin Maynard was a creepy kid. In kindergarten, other kids drew hopscotch on the playground. He do scary chalk outlines and would smuggle ketchup in his lunch bag to accessorize the outline. When the teacher and principal banned all chalk from the playground and searched Maynard’s lunch bag, he pondered finding a way to keep doing his art. That’s when they found the body in the playground. The police took photos drone outline, took the body away for an autopsy. The official cause was cirrhosis of the liver, but somehow they blamed Maynard. I never saw that kid again.
Duncan brothers
Don and John Duncan loved to make donuts. Their mom had a doughnut making machine in the kitchen, and they spent all day mixing up batter, frosting, and sprinkles. They came up with some really weird recipes and designs. Every Halloween, the Duncan house was the most popular house on the block. Instead of going to some college, they spent their savings on buying a bakery. Everyone bought donuts at Duncan Brothers. Until a certain multinational conglomerate sued them for using that name. They agreed to change it, and they changed the sign, but people still called it Duncan Brothers.
Browns
The Brown Twins were great at every sport. Basketball football baseball track. You name it, they were the best at it. Willie became known as Touchdown Brown, while Moses got named Hoops Brown. They went to different colleges on scholarships so that they wouldn’t take any starts or opportunities away from each other. Despite their names, they still played in all of the sports. The thing is, it was Moses that ended up a football star while Willie was a basketball star. They’re now both known as Dr Brown. Pediatricians. I think the world‘s a better place because of that.
Leftover Fights
You know what you’ve cooked is good when everybody is fighting over the leftovers. It’s a lot better than when they’re fighting over how little you’ve cooked for the group cause at least you know they’ve all had as much as they’ve wanted to eat, but they’re gonna want more later. When they ask you the recipe, that’s when you really know you’ve got them. The problem is, if you used the cheap store brand marinade for everything, having to admit that it wasn’t an old family recipe, but something that came out of a bottle off of the shelf