RICHARD
Anaheim!
I had to Google Anaheim: Up to then, I’d always thought it was a brand of clothing, or maybe a beer manufacturer.
So, it came as a bit of a shock when I received the email telling me my job was being relocated to Anaheim; a particularly pleasant shock, when I found out my new base shared the same location as Disneyland, with a fabulous climate, amazing attractions, and a buzzing night life.
Of course, I jumped at the opportunity.
And, here I am!
Anaheim, Saskatchewan! Population 210, middle of nowhere, and absolutely nothing to do, at all!
Lucky me!
LIZZIE
“Check the map. Where’s Anaheim?”
“Oh, it’s a place? Sounded like a name.”
“It’s the name of a place. But did you know that Heim is home in German?”
“I wonder if we’ll meet Ana there.”
“Where?”
“At her home.”
“What?”
“It’d be a great name for a pub. Ana’s Pub. Open 24/7!”
“What are you talking about?!”
“Anaheim, the pub.”
“Anaheim isn’t a pub. It’s a huge city.”
“Is it open 24/7 like Ana’s pub?”
“No. It’s closed. Let’s check the map and go to Los Angeles instead.”
“Ah, Ana, the Angel.”
“Stop it! Stop it now!”
DUANE
California has always attracted cults. Must be something in the air. The most nefarious of the California cults started in the orange groves of Anaheim in the late 1950s. Early followers were easy to spot with their big-eared hats that showed “I’m listening.”
The workers at the cults main compound have all taken on new identities. They are not allowed to “break character”. Everyone has that eerie Stepford Wives’ smile and up beat high voice.
Even I find myself playing along. Handing over my hard-earned money. Standing in line for hours. After all, isn’t this the “happiest place on earth.”
TURA
Anaheim
———
After my parents first took me to Disneyland, I always wanted to go again and again. But it would only ever be once, maybe twice a year. We lived in Anaheim, and we would always walk. Although it was just a mile as the crow flies, it seemed far longer. Later, I wondered whether we had taken a deliberately circuitous route, to make it seem further away.
Eventually, I was old enough to go everywhere on my own, even past the chaos of the Santa Ana Freeway. I could go to Disneyland whenever I wanted.
I’ve hardly been there since.
JRADIMUS/JARED
WC827 Cliche
“I’m so sorry for your loss.”
“Sending you our deepest condolences.”
“You’re in our thoughts and prayers.”
“She’s in a better place.”
“At least she’s no longer in pain.”
“It’s so unfair.”
“Fuck cancer.”
When someone you love dies, you hear every cliche in the book. Everyone struggles to know what to say, so they regurgitate the consolations they’ve heard before. They mean well, and I know they want to help. They don’t know what else to do or say, so they say the only things they can think of, and hope it helps.
I know, for me, it did.
WC868 Anaheim
“The happiest place on Earth” – Cheesy as it is, I’ve tried to make it real.
I adopted Anaheim as my hometown when I moved here over 18 years ago to be near the woman that would become my wife for almost 17 years. Orange County is my turf. I’ve lived at the same address here longer than any other address in my life. Trish passed in January, 2022. Anaheim isn’t as happy as it used to be. But it would dishonor her life if I didn’t try to make it ‘the happiest place on Earth’ for me again. I’m trying.
SERENDIPIDY
Fifth floor, last door on the left. You can’t miss the brass name plate on the door: ‘Ana Heim, Dental Technician’.
No need to knock, just go through and take a seat. She’s expecting you.
Please don’t be alarmed at the screams from the consulting room, it’s really nothing to worry about.
Neither should you be concerned about the trails of blood on the waiting room floor. Ana knows what she’s doing.
She’s old school, and operates with the steely precision and ruthlessness for which the Germans pride themselves.
And, she’s good.
You’ll never need to see a dentist again!
NORVAL JOE
Billbert charged away from the bullies, down Main Street and turned onto Anaheim Avenue, headed toward home expecting to hear two sets of footfalls chasing him. All was silent as he stumbled to a stop. They weren’t following.
He wanted to go back and check on Sabrina and Linoliamanda, but didn’t want to risk being seen by the bullies.
Billbert levitated and flew just above the pine trees to where he could see the larger boy with his hand at Sabrina’s throat.
Incensed that the jerk would pick on a girl, Billbert shot forward at full speed, tackling the boy.
PLANET Z
When Father would come home drunk, Little Ana hid in the shed.
The stink of fertilizers, burning her eyes.
Father, stomping and grumbling.
Her hands, clutching garden shears.
The beat of her heart.
Louder. Faster.
Would Father pass out this time?
God, please?
Or would he pull open the door and…
Father retches loudly, falls with a thud.
Ana will have to clean him up tomorrow.
Relieved, Ana opened the shed door.
Father, standing there, vomit down his chin.
He grabbed her, a loud moan, and fell, shears buried in his chest.
Ana will have to clean him up tomorrow.
