When the order came to work from home, It was nice out, so I used my patio as a home office.
I’d check the hourly forecast and the local radar for rain, and I’d try to wait until the last minute before moving back inside.
Now that it’s summer and hot out, I work from the living room, and I don’t go outside except to harvest some chives and mint.
I don’t bother checking the forecast anymore.
When the fall comes around, and things get nicer out, and if this virus is still going around.
I’ll check the forecast again.
Sarah’s mother
The birth went smoothly, and Sarah was born.
“So beautiful… so beautiful…”
Sarah’s mother asked for an hour to hold her.
Then, she asked for five more minutes. Just five more minutes.
The couple who were adopting Sarah agreed, and the doctor nodded to them.
He added a little something to the IV, and Sarah’s mother fell asleep with her baby in her arms.
The nurse picked up Sarah, and handed her to the new parents.
Sarah’s mother slept soundly for hours, dreaming of the perfect life with Sarah.
And when she woke up, she screamed to wake the dead.
Gemini
Killers always leave something at the scene of the crime.
Sometimes, it’s intentional, like a note to the police or FBI.
Other times, it’s unintentional.
Forensic evidence.
A hair. Some skin dust. A fingerprint.
The Gemini Killer left nothing but his victims.
Always two. Usually twins.
Just like the Gemini.
And he killed them. Killed them both.
Well, more like got them to kill each other.
Whispering in their ears, breaking them down.
And filling them with so much hate.
Setting them against each other.
Then, the moment of truth.
Two murders. Two killers.
Without leaving a trace of himself.
Automan’s Heir
Molly’s father founded AutoMan industries.
AutoMan robots are everywhere these days, including the mansion that Molly lives in.
Robot butlers, robot maids, robot nannies, and robot teachers.
And, most importantly, robot guards.
When they built AutoMan robots that could fix other robots, pretty much all that’s left job-wise is to design more robots or go into the arts.
A lot of people are out of work because of AutoMan, you know.
Angry, bitter people.
They break in to the mansion, trying to kill Molly.
But they only destroy her robot decoy.
Molly watches a monitor as the incinerators turn on.
All summer long
Every Summer, Albert’s family would go camping.
And they took Albert’s cousin Bobby along.
Bobby had issues. Serious issues.
He went to a special school, well, more like a prison.
Whatever Albert was doing, Bobby would be there.
Throwing rocks at birds Albert was watching, ripping up interesting plants, rubbing poison ivy in Albert’s face…
Laughing all the while.
“Stay here,” said Albert, walking away.
But Bobby would follow him, causing more problems.
That night, Albert zipped Bobby up in his sleeping bag and dragged it on the fire.
Albert ended up in Bobby’s old room at the school.
Weekly Challenge #823 – Fight Fire With Fire
LIZZIE
“I have a dragon.”
“I have a dragon too.”
“My dragon is bigger than yours.”
“No, it’s not.”
“Yes, it is.”
“No, it’s not.”
“Yes, it is.”
“Stop it,” shouted the father from the living-room.
“Mine can spit fire.”
“Spit? Haha. Mom says that’s rude.”
“No, it’s not, not in dragons.”
“Yes, it is.”
“No, it isn’t!”
“Stop it now.”
Two seconds of silence.
“Your dragon’s pooping fire.”
“No, it’s not.”
“Then… what’s that?”
“It’s… It’s… He had chili, so there.”
This time, silence lasted longer. One of the kids sulked while the other wondered if dragons really ate chili.
RICHARD
Fight fire with fire
Uncle Eddie always said ‘fight fire with fire’, and although I never really understood what he was on about, it seemed to make sense in a backwards sort of a way, so I adopted it into my own philosophy.
I figured that the same principle could be applied to most things.
It didn’t really work out.
I flooded the bathroom when I tried fixing a leak, fighting water with water.
My house fell down when I fought a termite infestation… With termites.
And, a word to the wise:
Never put out a burning barbecue with a blow torch…
And petrol!
SERENDIPIDY
“Burn the witch”, they chanted, whipped up into a killing frenzy by the inquisitors.
I was roughly dragged from the cart, then bound firmly to the stake at the centre of the pyre, the chanting of the crowd growing ever louder as the moment drew close.
A cheer went up as the torches were lit and touched to the pitch-soaked brushwood beneath my feet, igniting instantly.
As the flames climbed higher, I laughed in their faces, for you cannot fight fire with fire.
And the fire that burns within me, burns with greater ferocity than any puny funeral pyre!
TOM
What Could Go Possible Wrong 022
Ford found himself watching Parker’s ghost into frame. He knew exactly what was going on. 12 planes where aligning and he had to pick one pretty soon. Like jumping on a spinning round-about. But doing it wearing cement Wellies. And just like a pair of Wellies a lose fit a best. Ford judged plane number seven would be the least packed in this matrix. Would have work just fine if had been for Cervantes elbow. Ghostly blue a first, but coming in solid straight at his forehead. At least he was doing better than the Captain’s knee to the groin.
What Could Go Possible Wrong 023
Cervantes took a deep breath, felt the blue slide across his arm. He had to keep the pint glass at eye level. Not as ez as one would image. A quick glance to the ground a truck of man took form. Then an arm comes across this left eye. His brain was now slowing down, only broad strokes of thought came into view. “Fight fire with fire,” an internal synapse fired. No smoke here. It’s nice here. Let’s just roll with the punches. The Crazy World of Arthur Brown ear-wormed into his head. “I’m fighting fire, I am the fireman.”
TURA
Fight fire with fire
———
In the province of 火战火 Huǒzhànhuǒ, water is scarce, but natural petroleum seeps are common. If your house catches fire, there is no possibility of extinguishing it with water. A small fire can be smothered with sand, but when out of control, people encourage the blaze with buckets of petroleum. The building is razed in short order, instead of smouldering on for days.
This is their general attitude. Lagging students are expelled from school. All serious crimes are capital.
And when Covid swept through, they let it take whoever it took, and increased the size and frequency of their festivals.
NORVAL JOE
Billbert realized all the adults around the fire and all the teenagers in the two lines were staring at him. Uncomfortable with their attention, he quickly took the gaudiest ring in Sabrina’s outstretched hand and slipped it onto her finger.
“It is done,” crooned an old woman.
Each of the adults produced a ladle from beneath their cloaks and dipped a liquid from a central bucket. They extended their ladles into the flames and the liquid in each caught fire. As one they tipped the burning liquid into the fire. In a flash of golden embers, the campfire went out.
PLANET Z
The word ostracize means to cast out a person from society.
It comes from ostraka, which are oyster shells.
People would write the name of the person to cast out on the shells, and they’d be collected and counted.
The ostracized would be stripped and run out of town, never to return.
Now, when oyster society wants to cast one of their number, it’s a bit harder.
Because so few oysters have names, and even those with names can’t read or write.
But if they wait along enough, humans would collect them all to eat and use as ostracism ballots.
The cutting room floor
Who’s the actor with the most credits?
Mel Blanc. The voice of Bugs Bunny and so many other cartoon characters.
Some guy in Bollywood has the record for actual appearances in film.
Then there’s Bill Mungo.
Casting agents went out of their way to cast Bill Mungo.
He was paid to be in hundreds of movies and television shows.
But every time, ended up on the cutting room floor.
Appearances? Zero.
He made a good living from it, enjoyed a long retirement, and he died.
When they did an autopsy, he fell off the table and on to the floor.
Tagger
Danny started his first tattoo parlor in a run-down strip mall.
He did good work, built a reputation.
Used his savings to buy the strip mall, had it renovated.
Scrubbed, painted, resurfaced and lit the parking lot.
Classy and upscale.
One morning, he went to work and someone had tagged his window.
It took an hour to scrape and scrub off.
Camping out that night, he caught the tagger.
“Man, I have a right to share my art!” was the tagger’s defense.
So Danny knocked him out, put him in the chair, and covered his body with his own art.
Carole Lombard
Carole Lombard’s final film was To Be or Not to Be.
The producers removed her line: “What can happen on a plane?”
A month earlier, she had been doing a tour of the country, raising money for war bonds.
Carole’s plane went down outside of Las Vegas.
Everyone on board died.
Carole, her mother, the crew, the soldiers with her.
That can happen on a plane.
Clark Gable, her husband, flew to Vegas and waited for her body to be recovered.
They say she was pregnant.
Not to be, I suppose.
But I prefer Mel Brooks’ version of that film.
Fancy soaps
So, I like fancy soaps.
Ones that smell good and look good.
There was this shop at Disney World that had cool art soaps.
I bought a bunch of them.
But eventually, I used up the last one.
So, I looked up the store web site, and ordered more.
And they arrived.
Three days later, I get an email asking me to review the soap.
Six bars in 3 days? Seriously?
So, I said I loved them.
They were easy to carve into guns, and helped me escape from prison.
And where can I go to thank them in person?