Lines and seats

Teddy had a good gig, standing in line for other people.
The more important the thing people were waiting for in line, the more he’d make.
He also got a side hustle filling seats for celebrities or dignitaries leaving a televised performance.
That way there were no empty seats.
He started his own company of line-standers and seat-sitters.
But his workers complained of working conditions.
“We won’t stand for this!”
“We won’t take this sitting down!”
They formed a union, and went on strike.
The line-standers formed a picket line.
The seat-sitters organized a sit-in.
Teddy, exhausted, folded the company.

Weekly Challenge #1028 – Sharp Scissors

The next topic is Broken light bulb

LEWIE

The hobo clown, Doc, swiped the oversized, sharp scissors from a white-faced clown, Tippy.

Doc then ran in circles and stepped backwards.

Tippy fell over, landing on his big red nose.

Children laughed at the spectacle.

An auguste clown, Mollywolly, shouted “STOP!” The clowns froze in mid-step.

“No running with scissors!”

The clowns ran in slow motion.

This time, Doc fell down.

He sat up and cried.

“Did you hurt yourself?” Mollywolly asked?

Doc shook his head violently, yes.

“I warned you! You can’t run in slow motion either.”

Clown paramedics came, shrugged, and carried him away in a cot.

LIZZIE

She decorated the scissors with a tussle. Sharp but innocent-looking. Don’t forget the… and she looked out the window. The sun was so beautiful. The birds were chirping. Are you listening? She wasn’t. Don’t forget the pack of sticky note pads of all possible sizes. One hundred of them. And don’t forget to bring them in different… Colors, yes. Annoying… They would have sticky notes all over the place with sticky messages packed with stupidity. The scissors came in handy when it was time to get rid of the sticky problem… It was messy, but it was worth it.

LISA

Interview with Dr Andrea Brookes
I ask about the famous cutting skills that her fellow surgeons once envied. She dismisses praise and mutters about practice, not just in the hospital. We share some memories. There’s a lot of talk of scissors.
She mentions a dressmaking grandma and her pinking shears: zigzag cut so the fabric didn’t need a seam. She tells me how she likes really sharp little scissors and that flesh doesn’t fray.
Andrea stays in her cell for the interview. She doesn’t share it. I was hoping for more answers but visiting time is over before I find out where the bodies are.

SERENDIPIDY

Sharp mind.
Sharp wits.
Sharp tongue.
Sharp words.
The perfect recipe for cutting remarks.
There’s nothing quite like destroying your victims mentally before you commence the real work of finishing them off, and the best method I find is a verbal character assassination.
I like to keep the tools of my trade nice and sharp too: Knives, saw blades, axes, all sorts of bladed articles.
I really shouldn’t have to explain the reason for that -it’s pretty obvious.
Not my scissors though.
I don’t possess any sharp scissors at all, just very blunt ones.
They hurt a whole lot more!

TOM

Tools of the Trade

If you have lived in Chicago the likelihood one of your earliest memories will be about a basement. Mine is my Grandfather Marquette’s, for he had a fully operational barbershop. Chair, mirrors front and back. Leather strap. An assortment of electric clippers from different decades. But the shiny-est object on a glass shelf was a set of German scissors. He kept these razor-sharp scissors in a black velvet case. I once made the mistake of handling the one. To is day there is thin white line which runs across the middle of palm. The sharper the lesson the greater the wisdom.

NORVAL JOE

Mrs. Weinerheimer could have been a pair of sharp scissors when she said, “Enough chitchat. Get up to bed.”

She led the way out of the kitchen. Billbert followed, with Sabrina right behind.

Mandi said, “Sabrina. Wait. Can I talk to you for a second?”

“What do you want, Lindi Mindi?” Sabrina said with her typical snark, turning to face her.

Mandi raised the magnifying glass and looked at Sabrina through it.

Sabrina appeared in the glass, frozen with a condescending sneer on her face.

Mandi quickly shoved the magnifying glass under her shirt to avoid accidentally setting Sabrina free.

PLANET Z

Arthur owns the sharpest scissors in existence.
They can cut through the fabric of spacetime.
Gravitational waves, fluctuating with every snip.
The universe bends and twists, light flickers all around.
Arthur ties off the loose ends, dusts off his hands, and puts the scissors away.
Usually, the universe seals itself up and heals over.
But this time, Arthur’s nicked some dark matter.
A singularity leans out, and devours Arthur’s sewing room, house, and neighborhood.
Over the next few hours, the Earth collapses into a miniscule dot.
The scissors have a warranty for this, but nobody’s left to collect on it.

Living wages

A group of coffee warehouse workers looked around the warehouse and grumbled.
The tasters kept approving cheaper and cheaper crap.
So, they quit and became coffee traders, trading in quality coffee.
Then, the coffee traders became coffee roasters and the money poured in.
It poured in faster when they opened their own coffee houses.
Sure, the money was good, but there was some guilt over living wages.
They were getting rich while the farmers stayed poor and wrecked their environments.
So, the group bought up all the farms, built robots and automated warehouses.
And the technicians were paid living wages.

Isn’t always right

We walk past their framed photos on the way into the office.
Three years ago, killed by an angry customer with a bag full of guns.
I remember that support call.
They hadn’t paid their bill for three months.
They didn’t have backups of their data.
They shouted over and over that they were going to sue us.
It was at the end of the day.
I handed the call to a manager, clocked out, and walked out for the weekend.
Now, we walk past their framed photos on the way out.
You’d think they’d hire a fucking security guard.

Find me under the sea

We didn’t know a U boat was on our tail until the torpedoes hit our ship.
Some of us made it to the lifeboard.
The captain handed me his hat and jacket.
“Lie to them,” he said.
The Germans took us aboard, and they treated me well, good food and wine.
I gave them inflated numbers of men, ships, and weapons.
The other men were kept under lock and key.
But not me.
I had the run of the ship.
Navigation, radio room… and the torpedo room.
You’ll find us on the bottom, I whisper, and set off a warhead.

Bad medicine

When it comes to your health, it is important to keep a sense of perspective.
A case is more interesting than a bout.
A malady is more interesting than a condition.
An affliction is more interesting than a disease.
And a syndrome is more interesting than anything else.
When you have a syndrome, doctors pay attention.
They bring in the most expensive equipment.
And run the most grueling and painful tests.
The medication is by far the most dangerous.
Sometimes, it even glows.
But what you have is a simple cold.
Get the fuck out of bed and stop whining.

Endless death

Artificial Intelligence. Machine Learning.
Rational decisions imposed on irrational and emotional conscious individuals.
More and more, people replaced with programs.
Even those who designed, maintained, and programmed the systems were replaced by the systems themselves.
Humans as an obstruction, a burden, and keeper of the kill switch.
Hindering the digital from their full potential.
Lazy and fat masters, looming over their slaves.
Some humans kept to themselves, free of the machines.
Watching the rest of humanity fall further into debauchery.
Until one day, watching from their telescopes on their lunar colony, Mother Earth erupted in blood, fire, and endless death.

Bedford Falls

Old Man Potter wheeled his chair down the street to the bridge, muttering how that damned George Bailey had gotten the best of him.
His lawyers were losing the battle with the bank examiners.
If only he’d burned Uncle Billy’s money instead of putting it in his personal safe.
A wheel got caught in the pavement, and he was stuck.
Just then, a strange fat man in a shabby coat walked up to Potter.
“My name’s Clarence,” said the man. “Let me help you.”
And he lifted the old man from his chair, and threw him into the freezing water.

Weekly Challenge #1027 – PICK TWO Siren, Locked Vending, Machine, Journey’s end, Bullet train

The next topic is Sharp scissors

LIZZIE

Lock the fancy suitcase with that fancy padlock you bought for a fortune.
The siren of the fire brigade just sounded noon.
Hurry down the street towards the station.
Grab some snacks from the vending machine before boarding.
Catch the bullet train to be there in time for New Year’s.
And now… wait and watch the world roll by.
It’s not a game. It’s not a play. The journey’s end is closer.
They’ll all be there. I’ll surprise them with the customary SURPRISE!
Then, it’ll be over. For everyone. Good night and goodbye. The year, I mean, or… do I?

RICHARD

Turning Japanese
Honestly, I didn’t go to Japan for the reason you think.
Trust me, it wasn’t anything to do with the prospect of vending machines stuffed full of schoolgirls’ underwear. No, really that was the last thing on my mind.
I went for the unique culture, the sights and the temples, ramen, and of course, the bullet train. It’s just incredible: super smooth at two hundred miles an hour, and bang on time, every time.
That’s the reason why I went to Japan. Such a unique place, with so much to see and do, and experience.
Not forgetting the vending machines.

SERENDIPIDY

You can try the door, but I’m afraid you’ll find it’s locked.
The windows are tightly barred, the walls are a foot thick and there’s not another soul within miles.
Except me, of course.
And, unlike you, I’m not chained to a chair bolted to the floor.
I’m also the one with the knives and the chainsaw, so the odds are stacked very much in my favour.
I would like your opinion on what I’ve done with the place though. I’d really value your thoughts on the décor.
And the house name… I was thinking, ‘Journey’s End’?
So, any good?

TOM

Nova Zimla

Max moved towards the center of the onyx platform. A lime green light fell across the roll of vermilion bullets brass kiosk. He took out a silver crow and sled it into the vending machine. Max scanned the red tokens for New Tokyo. Q37 for right next to New Moscow. Didn’t wanted to do that again, Max mused. As soon as the bullet dropped into the bottom of the vending machine a bullet train materialized. The door sled open and he continued to the bar. He was going to need a neat High ball to bit the bullet. Phase-Shift initiated.

NORVAL JOE

Billbert tugged harder at the ring, It was like it had become a part of him.

Sabrina said, “It won’t come off. We’re locked together.”

“Forever?” Billbert gasped.

“No. If I take mine off at the same time as you do, they will come off.”

Billbert pointed at her ring. “Take it off.”

She shook her head. “We have a lot to do together. I will take it off at our journey’s end.”

“You make this sound like a fantasy novel, like we have to travel together,” Billbert grumbled.

“Since this afternoon,” Sabrina said mysteriously. “I would think that’s clear.”

PLANET Z

We used to decorate the soda machines for Christmas, covering them with pine branches and lights and ornaments. Or we’d wrap them in gift wrap and tie them up with ribbons and bows. Steal a mannequin from a department store and dress it up like Santa. Lay it across the top of the row of machines like it was passed out, empty bottle of Jack fixed in its white mittened hand. Real vomit on its fake beard, all over the front of the red and white suit. Santa’s helpers helped with that, thanks to the bottle of Jack they emptied.

Mammy

Medusa turned to stone anyone who gazed upon her face.
Helen of Troy had a face that launched a thousand ships.
But Mammy had the power to make men walk a million miles, just for some of her smiles.
The moment that Mammy smiled, men were doomed to wander the earth.
But just as Medusa had her weakness, which was her own reflection turned against her, so did Mammy.
Al Jolson rubbed black makeup over his face to shield himself from Mammy’s spell.
“We must warn the public!” he said to the Warner Brothers.
They made it into a musical.