The 100 Word Stories Podcast

Welcome to the 100 Word Stories podcast at oneadayuntilthedayidie.com.

This is the Weekly Challenge, where I post a topic and then challenge you to come up with a 100 word story based on that topic.

We’ve got stories by:

• Charlie
• Munsi
• Jeffrey
• Richard
• Aubrey
• Serendipity
• Lizzie
• Planet Xray
• Tom
• Norval Joe
• Tura
• Planet Z

CHARLIE

He held off giving Poopsie the ring. She kicked him square in the cullions for looking at another woman; asking her if he could capture the playful quality of her buttocks with his iCam. Poopsie was tough. She had a Kevlar insert in her panties. Days, she drank and watched TV, but at night, she was a cage fighter in the city. Her personality was a cross between Ronda Rousey and Golda Meir. If she was approached at the bar, she flicked a quarter into the guy’s eye and said “Why don’t you go grab yourself an ice cream, Scooter.”

#2

Lennie was finally admitted to The Ring of The Grand Vizier. Those that did not adopt the tenets of the The Ring were whipped, tortured, teased, robbed, killed, then raped. Lennie had hoped that being a member would finally get him the respect and admiration he strove for as an unpopular clerk in a large, national corporation. He wheedled and cajoled his way into the inner circle of management, and at a company party he accidentally walked in on an ad hoc meeting of The Ring. Rather than kill him on the spot, The Ring invited him into the group.

#3

The story he told to the Psychiatrist didn’t ring true. He complained that the ringing in his ears was the cause for the outbreak of violence at the Walmart store. He threw heavy objects, started fires in the lingerie section, and took off his clothes. A ring of police gathered at the exits, as a tact squad entered and drove him out. Erik was fast and powerful. He leaped from the tops of the display cases, as he evaded the police. Four officers were injured when hit with appliances, but a well-placed rubber bullet to the groin took him down.

MUNSI

On Affection, and Also on Jewelry
By Christopher Munroe

If you liked it, you should put a ring on it.

If you don’t like it, no ring.

It’s fairly simple, if you think about it it’s almost unreasonably simplistic, but it DOES make for a good rule of thumb as far as who or what is liked.

A person with a ring is liked, by at least the person with whom that ring was exchanged.

Trees? People like’em big and bigger ones have more rings.

Saturn? Well everyone likes Saturn!

I like my bathtub…

Wait…

No, I’m going to have to go back to the lab and rethink this…

JEFFREY

The Ring
by Jeffrey Fischer

I remember buying the ring, paying a small fortune for a flawless diamond on the off-chance that she’d see the flaws in a cheaper stone. I remember how nervous I was when I asked her to marry me. When the time came to flip open the box, I snagged the ring and sent it flying across the room. Fortunately, she said yes before I started hunting for it.

Now I gently removed the ring from her lifeless finger just before the undertaker closed the casket. We agreed she would be buried with her wedding ring, but I wanted to keep the diamond. After all, didn’t I just say I paid a fortune for it? I’m sure not going buy another one for my girlfriend.

Ring Around the Bathtub
by Jeffrey Fischer

I stared at the bathtub. Ring around the drain! Remember those ads for Wisk detergent, promising to rid you of “ring around the collar”? Same problem, just on porcelain. I tried a Magic Eraser, I used Comet, I scrubbed and scrubbed, but nothing worked. That damn ring mocked me.

Fine. Just fine. Time to break out the heavy weapon: industrial-strength hydrochloric acid. I gave it a little time to soak in, used a heavy cloth to rub it off, and the stain came right out. Success! I vowed that would be the last time I cut up a body in my own bathtub. Next time, I’ll use the neighbor’s. After all, he wouldn’t be needing it any longer.

RICHARD

#1 – One Ring

Unbelievably, the hobbit’s ploy worked!

Distracted by the gold scattered amongst the undergrowth, the dragon halted its chase, and Boggins crawled away unnoticed.

Of his companions, there was no sign, and he was forced to conclude that they’d left him for dead.

With night drawing in, he found a small cave to hide in and cowered in the darkness, lamenting his loss…

No friends, no hope, and – thanks to the dragon – no gold either.

Thrusting his hands in his pockets, he was surprised to touch metal – all that was left of his treasure: a single gold ring.

#2 – Stella

It had been a thoroughly enjoyable business lunch. Right from the moment Stella was introduced to me, we hit it off big-time.

Not only was she Metrotronics’ best sales manager, she was witty, intelligent and drop dead gorgeous.

Business took a back seat as we flirted madly all evening. Then, as she was leaving, she slipped me a napkin upon which she’d written her number and the words, ‘Ring me’.

When I called, I was in for a hell of a shock: She threatened to nail me for sexual harassment unless I signed the deal!

I signed, of course.

#3 – Romantic Gesture

I wanted something special to celebrate our marriage, so I watched a YouTube instructional for making a ring from a coin.

It wasn’t straightforward – I no workshop tools, so I had to buy them.

I also needed somewhere secret to work, so I rented a workshop.

I went through a few coins too – dozens really. Eventually the exercise had cost me more than buying a ring straight out!

However the glow of pride I felt when I presented my fiancee with my efforts was completely ruined by her response.

“Cheapskate! You couldn’t even buy me a proper ring!”

#4 – Alien

The old guy’s story was implausible, but it did have the ring of truth to it.

He certainly had the military background, and the details we’d been able to research checked out.

It was the crazy stuff that was harder to believe: I’ve heard some hair-brained Area 51 stories, but this was nuts.

Experiments to develop hybrid alien world leaders? Alien DNA infiltrating the corridors of power? An out of control alien intelligence disguised as human, poised for world domination?

Too crazy to be true, yet the evidence was there – an out of control alien, masquerading as human: Trump!

#5 – Dream Job

My first job was almost a dream come true: International travel to destinations most people haven’t even heard of, excitement, adventure and the thrill of never knowing where each day might take you.

My colleagues were an eclectic and interesting bunch of every nationality, and although many were extremely demanding and didn’t suffer fools gladly, they were – without exception – experts in their field, highly motivated and successful individuals.

Then there was the knowledge that you really were making a difference in people’s lives – such a great feeling.

Best job I’ve ever had… Working for the drugs ring.

AUBREY

After a few weeks of busy-ness I’m back. Here’s my story for this week:

We live in an age where everyone is expected to be available at the drop of a hat, but I try not to take that for granted.

I mean, I get it. I do. We’re self absorbed beings that care more about Candy Crush than the person across the table from us. Sometimes, at least.

But thirty years ago, my mom lived thousands of miles from her family, it took several steps and a couple weeks to send a picture of her newborn baby.

Now, the phone rings and she can instantly see her granddaughter, thanks to that soul-sucking technology.

SERENDIPITY

Ring. Ring. Ring. Ring.

Just let it ring.

Do not pick up; or do you?

It’s the ultimate catch 22 dilemma…

Your rescuers have your number – they’re making the call. All you have to do is pick up, answer and tell them where you are. Simple.

But, if you pick up the phone, the explosive charge will be triggered and the whole room – with you inside – becomes a raging fireball.

And if you do nothing?

Nothing happens… Nobody will find you, no food, no water, no hope.

So, what’s it going to be?

Ring. Ring. Ring. Ring.

LIZZIE

Silver with a red stone, thought Marcus. She liked red.

The shopkeeper was extremely friendly, however none of the rings appealed to Marcus. He wanted something different.

“Well,” said the man. “I have one here that is very special. It’ll make her young and beautiful forever. But it comes with a special price too.”

“What’s the price? I’ll pay.”

When he left the store, five of his fingers and an ear were gone.

He should’ve noticed those small jars on the shelf behind the counter. It turned out the man was a collector of body art, as he put it.

PLANET XRAY

The Ring of Pluto

The ring around Pluto is hardly noticeable, which is the way the Empire’s Zoological Commission wants it. Originally the ring acted as a bright beacon to travelers that this was an open system to all commerce and travelers, ripe for exploitation. But after several thousands of years of being this way, the Empire closed it down when a group of engineers started to experiment on and raised the intelligence level of the native inhabitants of the third planet in the system.
Now, only occasional sightseeing tours are allowed to visit the planet and then only with a Commission representative onboard.

TOM

Ring One

The jeweler was amazed. “Silver rings just don’t last that long.” “Must have been held together by love.” We purchased Gail’s moon stone engagement ring from Willow when all our hair was a different color. Gail never cared much for diamonds, though I would have gladly laid down the cash for one. She said she wanted a stone the glow warmth and not a cold rock of ice. So we had new ring cast in gold. A dozen interlock bird in a proper Celtic pattern. The silver ring went into the cherry wood box alongside my grandmother and grandfather rings

RingU

I don’t normally go in for horror film, but the Japanese film Ringu somehow got under my radar. It was pretty damn creepy. And just when you thought you had it all figured out, wrong. I was so impressed by the film that I googled the author Koji Suzuki. On his web site you could preorder the American translation through Vertical, Inc. I was the first American to read the book and first to write a review. The book was way scary then the film. Had nightmare for month. Gave the book to my friend, he had nightmares for a month.

Rhine Gold
Everyone has heard parts of it, few have the endurance to make it through the whole cycle. Richard Wagner’s Der Ring des Nibelungen is long, realllllly long. And it’s in German. I don’t speak German. So it came as a surprise that the video of the New York Met’s Spartan stage production in the 90’s was so mesmerizing. I sat glue to the screen as Brünnhilde is slowly surround by the Magic Fire. The last time the SF opera did the ring I was teaching a full load. The next time I will be a man of cum dignitate otium.

NORVAL JOE

Monkey Boy crouched, ready to spring as his enemy circled around him.
The power of the monkey paw was one thing, and he wouldn’t hesitate to use it if there were only a few. There were a few too many and they moved in to form tightly around him.
“Pole Cat,” he shouted. “I know you’re out there. I can smell you a mile away.”
The ring broke open to admit the girl; petite, attractive and odoriferous.
“You’d never hurt a girl,” she laughed.
“Don’t be so sure about that,” he said, raising a paw, but then suddenly leaped forward.

TURA

Ring
———
Welcome to Phone, the phone you’ve always wanted!

It’s designed as a heavy table ornament, so you never have to awkwardly fish it out of your pocket. It literally rings with a mechanical bell, not a feeble, tinny beep. Its innovative user interface does away with fiddly touchscreens and buttons, replacing them with a single mechanical dial, easily used by the fattest of fingers. Use its companion apps, Notepad and Pen, to record your contacts’ details, and never have to worry about accidentally losing them. Best of all, you can leave it at home, and avoid distractions through the day!
———

PLANET Z

The last time I lost weight, I lost so much, my ring slipped off and I lost it.
I got a new ring. And it fit fine.
Until I gained all the weight back. And more.
Now my ring was too tight. But because it’s gold, it’s soft enough to gradually stretch.
But not enough.
So, I lost weight again. And it got loose again.
This time, I had it adjusted.
So, it fit just fine.
Until I gained the weight back.
Now I wear the ring on a chain around my neck.
And eat whatever the hell I want.

Welcome to the 100 Word Stories podcast at oneadayuntilthedayidie.com.

This is the Weekly Challenge, where I post a topic and then challenge you to come up with a 100 word story based on that topic.

We’ve got stories by:

• Munsi
• Charlie
• Jeffrey
• Richard
• Tom
• Serendipity
• Michael Webb
• Lizzie
• Norval Joe
• Tura
• Planet Z

MUNSI

February 29th

By Christopher Munroe

Every four year there’s an extra day in February.

As I’ve no doubt you knew without me pointing it out.

What you may not know is that, when that bonus day comes, I spend it in a church.

This might come as a surprise to those of you know me, as if I’m not atheist as such, my agnosticism with regard to a supreme being leans heavily in that direction, but there it is, in spite of all you might have thought…

For one day every four years, I have religion, because I’m willing to take a leap… of faith.

CHARLIE

A few weeks ago L.E.A.P., or The Low Energy Assistance Program, opened their doors, and have since attracted dozens of new clients in town. They offer shots, pills, tonics, electrotherapy, a special diet, and a ratio of 1 trainer/guide for each two members. Some of the medications used are on lists that mention cautionary use, and other items dispensed are kept as private interactions between the LEAP attendants and the program’s clients. Ass hide glue pellets, bi hu (house lizard), and stinkbug (kiu xiang chong) have been used, but contraindications have surfaced and these are being withheld until further study.

#2

The Lower Extremity Aerobic Program (LEAP) just began last week at our local Y W C A. Aerobic programs such as this concentrate on the lower extremities as the primary motive force in building heart strength and lung capacity. No muscles below the thigh are used during the rigid course of repetitions and the challenging positioning of the lower limbs, and joints. The ankles and toes are the point of focus for the day’s exercises. The last two, outside phalanges on each foot must be removed prior to training. Special shoes are also required, but are available at cost from LEAP’s in-house commissary.

#3

Tomorrow is Leap Day, in case you’ve forgotten. It is customary that women propose on Leap Day. A man is expected to get circumcised or re-circumcised if he refuses a marriage proposal on Leap Day. Four years ago, my friend, Tim, refused a surprise proposal from his Irish girlfriend, Heather. At thirty-two, he was kidnapped and taken to a Rabbi in Philadelphia where he was circumcised for the second time by an old Rabbi with palsy. He could never play the trumpet after that time, and to this day, when Leap Year comes around, he cowers in his room, shaking.

JEFFREY
Fractal Time
by Jeffrey Fischer

Ludwig Mandelbrot was the foremost scholar of time. Using ever-more precise measurements, he calibrated the passing of a second to sub-atomic precision. When a gravity wave passed over the Earth, he made subtle adjustments to ensure that a second took exactly a second to pass, no more, no less.

Similarly, he calculated each orbit of the Sun to an exact degree. Not content with adding a leap day every four years or so, or even adjusting for leap seconds now and then, he added and subtracted milliseconds, then nanoseconds, then picoseconds with wild abandon. Eventually he confused himself as to what day it was.

Or at least that was his excuse to the IRS as to why his tax return was late.

Look Before You Leap
by Jeffrey Fischer

His mother always told him to look before he leapt. Although this seemed like good advice at the time, he wondered if it was universally applicable. Were there occasions where looking ahead of time was likely to be a bad idea? He considered the question the next time he needed to clear a large puddle on the curb. Looking was clearly a good idea. He considered the question again when he dove with Acapulco cliff divers – nope, looking was necessary.

At long last, he thought he found the ideal time to ignore his mother’s advice: when hurtling one’s self off a tall building in order to commit suicide. That was a freaking long way down! He turned around and meekly made his way to the ground the slow way, via the elevator.

RICHARD

#1 – Captain’s Log

I gave the command, and we made the leap into hyperspace – the stars froze, becoming streaks on the viewport, then the strange, inside-out feeling as the ship almost immediately began to decelerate.

Suddenly the ship was rocked violently, throwing us across the bridge.

“Captain, we’re under attack!”

I gave the order to return fire, but this would be no picnic – enemy lasers shone out in the darkness, and the ship was taking heavy fire.

Right in the midst of battle, I heard a shouted command: “Supper’s ready!”

I paused the game – victory could wait until bedtime.

#2 – Jonesey – The Leap Year Kid

We always laughed at Jimmy Jones – the Leap Year Kid – having the misfortune to be born on February, twenty-ninth led to endless ribbing.

“Hey Jonesey, ya big three year old! Get back to nursery school”, we’d tease; “Isn’t it time for your afternoon nap?”

I can’t say he took it particularly well, especially since we carried on the mockery into adulthood: “Sorry Jonesey, this is a man’s bar – why doncha go play in the ball pit?”

Of course, he had the last laugh.

Now in my seventies, I swear he doesn’t look a day over eighteen!

TOM

Power of One’s Conviction

He was a man who always embraced the conventional wisdom. Not one to
wander too far from the tried and true. Cautious, Calculating,
Conservative in action. The rock others depended to be immutable in a
capricious universe. But here he stood squarely between the horns of a
dilemma. Clearly the rational choice while practical and profitable lacked
a depth of satisfaction. In counterpoint the irrational choice while
incredibility satisfying was an indictment of everything he held dear. In
the end he chose a leap of faith, and for better or for worst became a
quite different man. He chose love.

With Out Grace

In the category of leaps the standing broad jump seems at first glance a
candidate for oxymoronic land, but if one were to closely examine the need
to leap, there is not much of an opportunity to tap into stored kinetic
energy. Oddly enough to be successful at this event both length and
compression is needed. On the line you get as tightly packed as possible,
arms, legs, chest. Then drive upward to full extension. You don’t stop
there. You pull your knees to your chest, fly forward like a cannonball.
The landing is rough, but you’re guaranteed to place.

1461 to 1

Benny was old for his age. He was 14 going on 56. It wasn’t because he was
young of heart or hyper extended adolescence. He was born on Feb 29, a
leap year baby. Each year on the 28th and 1st his family would throw these
two day unbirthday parties. Double the presents, double the ice cream,
cake and clowns. As an adult he continued the practice to legendary highs.
One year he rented the whole god damn Ringling Brothers Circus. Another
one aboard the Titanic II. For his 15th birthday there are plans to book
the International Space Station

SERENDIPITY

Life, you said, was passing you by – you wanted something more fulfilling, less of the routine, more excitement.

“You’ve got to learn to live a little”, I said, “have fun, try new things, take the occasional risk.”

Even so, I was pretty surprised when you took my suggestion seriously, although when it came to the crunch, you were starting to get cold feet.

“Look, I said – bungee jumping is perfectly safe – consider it a leap of faith.”

You jumped.

And, six and half seconds later, you hit the ground.

Maybe I should have tied the knot tighter?

MICHAEL WEBB

The red leather toe of her shoe made tiny figures in the air between her and I.

“Want to know something?,” she said. “I’m really only seven. I was born on Leap Year Day.”

I looked at her black hair as she sipped. The evening felt inevitable, like a movie I’ve seen already.

“Is that so?,” I said.

“Yes,” she said, and her toe stopped. “Have you ever slept with a seven year old girl?”

It feels like that sometimes, I thought.

“Never,” I said.

She stood up, her dress the shimmering blue promise of tomorrow’s rain.

“Let’s,” she said.

LIZZIE

“Just leave that. We can’t take anything.”

The two ran outside to join the mass of people hurrying down the street.
The military crammed as many as they could in their vehicles before speeding away.
“Hop in,” he said, dragging her towards one of the trucks.
She shook her head.
“We are going to die if we stay.”
She pulled her sleeve up, and a blue light popped up.
“I am like them.”
He was speechless. Then he stretched out his arm. “To be with you.”
She injected him.
They never looked like humans again, but they were still together.

NORVAL JOE

Adages for a happy life.

Never chew off more than you can bite. The mouth was created, or evolved to be, the appropriate size for efficient consumption. Consume food, and life’s challenges, in reasonably sized pieces.

Don’t walk faster than you can run. It’s got to do with body mechanics and efficiency. You’ll go a lot farther, in the long run, if you just walk at a reasonable pace.

Never look before you leap. What are you going to see, anyway? Crocodiles? The distance is too far?

You’ll never accomplish much if you let fear, or death, hold you back.

TURA

Leap

———

The planet Triselii orbits chaotically about three suns, spending a few orbits around one, then around the other binary pair. Not only do the years vary drastically in length, but also the days. Nevertheless, their astronomers have decreed a standard year and a standard day, to which are added leap months, leap days, and leap hours, so that midday always coincides with the closest sun being at its zenith, and the seasons fall at consistent times of the year.

So complex are the calculations, that they believe mathematics would never be developed on a planet orbiting a mere single sun.

PLANET Z

The salmon run along the Columbia River isn’t much of a run anymore.
Dams block the migration of salmon back up the river to their spawning
Engineers built spillways and fish ladders that allow the salmon to leap from pool to pool, until they rejoin the river on the upside of the dam.
Some rivers use siphon pumps and trap elevators instead of the spillways, but the goal is the same.
Whatever the technology, I prefer to use a net at the entry point.
Let’s collect up a few big ones and take them home for dinner.
Delicious Salmon!