Weekly Challenge #177 – Peas in a pod

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Welcome to the Weekly Challenge Number One Hundred And Seventy-Seven, where I post a topic and then challenge you to come up with a 100 word story based on that topic.
The topic this week was… was…. um…
It’s Peas in a pod.
The excellent theme music is by Guy David
VOTING

Which were the best stories this week?
Guy David from http://nightguy.guydavid.com/
Lynda from http://sisterpepperspray.blogspot.com/
Anima from http://zabbaabba.com/
Lewis from http://dedricmauriac.wordpress.com
Danny from http://dannymachal.com/
JRadimus
Norval Joe from http://www.norvalsoutlook.blogspot.com/
TJ from http://tjaman.libsyn.com/
Justin from http://www.thespaceturtle.com/
Planet Z
  
Free polls from Pollhost.com

Go ahead and listen to them and then vote for your favorites (multiple selections are allowed):


Guy David

I live in a pod. The smell of peas drives me crazy, but the rent is good. The landlord is reasonably flexible. The living space is a little dense, but I get alone. It’s amazing how spacious a place can seem if you organize the furniture just right. Still, one day I hope to buy my very own carrot. Sure, it’s long and a little thin, but I like the the space better and anyway, green is not really my color. Another reason: if I forget my keys – I can eat my way in. Try doing that with a pod.

Lynda

That airplane flying over reminds me of a nice man I met who was supposed to become the first man to fly to Mars. He had to turn back on account of broken facilities, and was called Pete “Pees In A Pod” Carter from then on.
Me an’ Jenny were like peas in a pod, ‘cept we weren’t green an’ we didn’t grow out of the ground. Well, Jenny’s in the ground now, but it wasn’t like you could serve us with shrimp. I like shrimp. Shrimp’s like peas ’cause you gotta pull the strings out before you eat ’em….

Anima

“We’re having peas – how do you like ‘em? In the pod or shelled?”
“I don’t like peas.”
“Why not – they’re good for you, and see how bright green! These are fresh, not canned. I bet you’ve only ever had canned.”
“NO! I don’t like Peas! Or Eggs or Teas, for that matter. They’re foul in the mouth!”
“Then what do you like?”
“I like vowels. Vowels, Eh- Eee! Aye! Oh! Eww!, and sometimes Why? These fill the soul with expression. Much better than peas. Peas just fill the mouth. You can have my share.”
“Fine, more for me (freakin’ voweletarian).”

Lewis

The professor guided his android daughter, Sally, into the cloning
machine. He closed the door and turned it on. The machine started
making loud noises until it came to a complete stop. Sally stepped out
of the machine. Than, Sally stepped out of it again. The two girls
were like peas in a pod. He couldn’t tell one from the other. The two
girls looked at each other, and then looked at the professor. The
giggled and then pushed him into the machine and ran it in reverse.
The professor came out, only half the man he used to be.

Danny

The Starship Peaseria sat in dead-space for forty hours under a constant barrage of high intensity laser bursts from the Admiral’s large freighter. Their engines burned up on the last light jump. Now all power was being directed to their shields while they plotted an escape.
The Admiral’s orders were to not destroy the Peaseria but they would not be taken, and time was precious. So he ordered the use of the microwave cannon to cook the crew inside and followed up with an accelerated particle ray to vaporize the ship.
Two crew members in an escape pod got out.

JRadimus

Penelope and her sisters were roused from their sleep by the golden-green light filtering through their pod wall.
“M-morr-ning,” she yawned. She got the usual grumbles and murmurs in reply. The others didn’t like mornings as much as Penelope.
As the familiar sounds of machinery starting up for the day reached them, they heard the giants moving through the rows of pod plants around them, and shadows crisscrossed their view.
Something wasn’t right, though; suddenly, she remembered: “It’s Harvest Day!” she screamed. A hand’s shadow slid over the pod, blocking the light, and their pod was torn from its stem.

Norval Joe

The starship was rocked repeatedly by wave after wave of EM pulse bombs from the alien armada.
The klaxon boomed the “whang, whang, whang” sound of abandon ship.
Emergency lights along the passage directed the personnel to the evacuation bay.
All six seats were filled and the small, round, self contained, escape vehicle burst from within the mother ship and began to warp to the closest hospitable planet.
Lieutenant Parker spoke into his transmitter, “for the record. ID check. Phillips?”
“Present, sir.”
“Peterson?”
“Here.”
“Pollard?”
“Here, sir.”
“Pratchett?”
“Yes, sir.”
“Peacock?”
“Yup.”
Parker said, “Escape Pod 3412 full and ejected.”

TJ

Keystrokes clicked, pop music played, and in the shade of a lakeside willow, the late afternoon sun dappled Kaylynn’s laptop monitor as she composed a Sweet 16 “thank you” e-mail to her Aunt Viv. She watched as Paul, a boy in her class, ran along the beach with his dog, and as couples lounged together on beach blankets. Alone. Just then a stray blue Frisbee floated into view, narrowly missing her. Douglas, another classmate, ran up to see if she was OK. She was, but was so distracted she hit “send,” without spellchecking, thanking her aunt for the new iPPod.

Justin

This haul of ore would bring me back into the black, if I could survive the trip back to the space station. I cursed as my radar lit with red. Alarms blared as incoming fire assaulted my ship. Bits of my hauler blew apart around me. Soon I found myself floating in my escape pod. I briefly had a moment wondering how up to date my clone was when a beam of light shot towards me. I expected to become a frozen corpse, but the sadistic pirate hadn’t aimed to kill me. Instead, his sharpshooting destroyed the pod’s toilet system.

Planet Z

The hawthorn has beautiful flowers in the spring and brown peapods in the fall.
They rattle when you shake them.
Year-round, large sharp curved spikes.
“Be careful,” says my mother.
Our first spring, I reach for a flower, and my hand it comes away bleeding, scratched by a thorn.
Our first summer, filling the bird feeder and then watching the squirrels empty it.
Our first fall, the dog eats some of the fallen pods. Vomits. A lot.
Our first winter, we mostly stayed inside. It was too damn cold.
A snowman, tied to the trunk, blindfolded.
Ready. Aim. Fire.

The Moral Compass

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I hold the compass flat in the palm of my hand, watching the needle spin madly.
The symbols glow a deep red.
“It’s broken,” I tell the salesman.
“No, it isn’t,” he says. “You are. Your moral compass is out of whack.”
The salesman snickers at me, his crooked smile wants me to punch it.
So I do. Many times.
As the salesman lays on the floor, I look at the compass.
The black end of the needle points at my heart.
“It’s working again.” I say, snap the lid shut, and step over the salesman out of the store.

The Shadowcat

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Three rings in the wizard’s nose.
A glass eye, solid blue.
No hair at all. Not even eyebrows.
He tells me of the legedary Shadowcat, a spirit in his library.
Only he can touch the books. If someone else enters the library, the Shadowcat strikes.
Instant death.
“Never go in there,” he says.
I nod.
“Can you make a Greyhawk Slinger?” he asks.
“Sure,” I say.
“You’re hired,” he says, and I am now the butler to the most powerful archmage in the land.
He hands me a book. “Mind putting this back in the library?”
I laugh.
He smiles.

Nine

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Calendars are artificial constructs, I keep telling myself.
The number of days in a week or month, the number of months in a year. These are all based on arbitrary standards that society has chosen.
The length of the year and where it starts varies, adjusted constantly to compensate for these inconsistencies.
September was once the seventh month. Now, it’s the ninth. The ninth of September, on a year set from an arbitrary start, has no cosmic meaning.
I repeat this over and over as the skies turn red, and taloned beasts crawl out of the shadows, sniffing for prey.

Corn Dogs

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There’s nothing quite like a fresh hand-dipped corn dog at the county fair.
These aren’t the pre-processed ones you get at the state fair or the grocery store.
You can watch as they pull a hot dog out of the kettle, spear it with a stick, dip it in the batter, and dangle it in the hot oil.
Look behind the curtain, and you’ll see the batter-maid milking a batter-cow into pails, hot dogs picked straight from a hot dog tree, and the oil pumped straight from the Great Vegetable Oil River.
As I said, as fresh as can be.

Idiot Tax

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The Idiot Tax collector stumbles from door to door, shaking his burlap sack and shouting at the top of his lungs.
Four in the morning. He always comes at four.
I watch a door open and a broken toaster fly out.
He catches it, grunts, and shambles off to the next house.
It’s against the law to kill an Idiot Tax collector. Even by accident.
My rusty butcher’s knife is in his chest.
“I tried to hand it to him,” I say. “Honest.”
I cry. I whine. I babble incoherently.
I, the new Idiot, pick up the sack and howl.

Ceiling Fan

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I good salesman.
I sell ceiling fan to anybody.
I sell to The Pope.
He say his church, it too hot.
Ceiling fan, it a work? He ask.
You try, if it no work, you give back, I say. No pay.
The Pope, he rich, but he no stupid. He like no pay if no work.
We shake hands, share a pizza. Nice wine.
He buy fan, say put it up in my church.
I look, whoa. Tall ceiling. I need big ladder.
I put ceiling fan in chapel, right on Adam’s bellybutton.
It not pretty, but it a work.

Weekly Challenge #176 – On the line

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Welcome to the Weekly Challenge Number One Hundred And Seventy-Six, where I post a topic and then challenge you to come up with a 100 word story based on that topic.
The topic this week was… was…. um…
It’s On the line.
The excellent theme music is by Guy David
VOTING

Which were your favorite stories this week?
Justin from http://www.thespaceturtle.com
Norval Joe from http://www.norvalsoutlook.blogspot.com
TJ from http://tjaman.libsyn.com
Guy David from http://nightguy.guydavid.com
Anima from http://zabbadabba.com
Lynda from http://sisterpepperspray.blogspot.com/
Planet Z
  
Free polls from Pollhost.com

Go ahead and listen to them and then vote for your favorites (multiple selections are allowed):


Justin

Steve’s entire research grant hung on a thin line. The slightest failure would topple it over and ruin his chance at research. The music industry would revolutionize marketing if it had a way to quantify a bands target market. His first test was to see if his apparatus would indeed measure a certain quality of a specific musical genre. In the back of a hole in the wall he attended a show of the emo punk band Razor Winged Butterfly Kisses. With the needle deep in the red, he discovered that he could indeed measure a band’s anguish in angstroms.

Norval Joe

“You’re gonna let me win.” Ed threatened the five other boys.
Each put a toe on the line and waited.
“Bang.”
Ed sprinted forward. Tim knew the bigger boy would soon fade.
Halfway around the quarter mile track Ed slowed. Tim moved to pass. Ed’s elbow to his nose put him back in place.
On the final stretch Tim went wide with a burst of speed. Blood ran freely from his nose. He shot past Ed to the finish line.
No one cheered or patted him on the back
PE was over. It was back to the classroom for math.

TJ

One definition of insanity is doing a thing repeatedly, expecting different results. As Carl fled the auditorium, pursued by bloodthirsty mob, it seemed insanity as well to perform the same act to the approval of one audience and the inflamed outrage of another. Their applause thundered on the line “Couple it with something – make it a word and a blow” as Mercutio in “R&J.” Less so in an increasingly awkward swordfight in “Hamlet.” And while his wife seemed to approve at home, the reaction was markedly different upon his delivery of them in comic breakaway doublet. Shakespeare for Kids indeed.

Guy David

“Enil enohp eht, Enil eht no” said the inscription. “What does it mean?” asked Suzy. The archeologist raised his glasses to his forehead and said “it’s in some long forgotten tongue.” He looked at it again, turning the strange writing this way and that. Suzy took a peek over his shoulder. The scribbling began to turn and move. It glowed slightly, then rearranged itself. The inscription now said “Sorry, but we’re not in right now. If you care to scribble a message we’ll be sure to get back to you as soon as possible.” “Some things never change” said Suzy.

Anima

Malicious little imp.
You stand, teetering on the brink of innocence, a smile curling your lips. However, the evil glint in your eye belies your true nature. You raise your right leg, left toes on the line, ready to hopscotch me into a nervous breakdown. Will it be now? Or now? Or now?
I hear my own mother – “Just wait ‘til you have kids of your own, – you’ll see.” I should have listened.
The bandages have hardly been off a week… Why must you and your faerie friends sing that song?
Step on a crack, break your mother’s back…

Lynda

Look at them down there fiddling with their shiny things–totally not real blackberries, by the way. Harvey chipped his beak on one of those things in April and he hasn’t been the same since.
They think they’re tweeting? They don’t know the first thing about tweeting! When we sit up here on the line, we’re one with the whole world, able to send out the alarm for worm sightings or where to get bread with one sound.
Well, here comes what you get for not looking up and admiring the bird over your head!
HA! I just pooped.

Planet Z

I called the operator and asked for help.
“It’s an emergency,” I said.
She said “Please stay on the line while I connect you” but it sounded like “Please stay on the lion.”
I looked around for a lion.
None nearby.
I pondered hanging up and calling someone to ask where the nearest lion is, but I didn’t know who to call to ask about lions.
“One moment please” said the operator, and then, after a brief series of clicks, I heard the unmistakable roar of a lion.
I hung up the phone.
Good.
Now the damn movie can start.

Turtle Teacher

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Every classroom has a turtle in an aquarium, placed on a table in front of each class.
The kids stare at the turtle for four hours, take a break for lunch, and return to staring at the turtle for the rest of the day.
Cameras watch the turtles and students, and the principal watches the video screens.
Nothing happens for days… weeks… months…
The Ministry was ready to pull the plug when an alarm went off in Classroom Twelve.
The turtle was gone, a greasy smear on the inside of the aquarium.
Upon review, one student’s eyes glowed red.
Success!

Teleprompter

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The President read the words on the teleprompter, the camera watched him, and the people loved it all.
One day, The President decided to sleep late, so they pointed the camera directly at the teleprompter.
The people loved it much more than they loved The President.
When he woke up and heard that they loved the teleprompter more than they loved him, he appeared on camera without the teleprompter.
The people booed and hooted. They told him to go away.
So, he did. And when the teleprompter was broken, the Vice President’s teleprompter took over.
That’s when people freaked out.