Welcome to the Weekly Challenge Number One Hundred And Sixty-Seven, where I post a topic and then challenge you to come up with a 100 word story based on that topic.
The topic this week was… was…. um…
It’s Step Into A Slim Jim.
The excellent theme music is by Guy David
VOTING
Go ahead and listen to them and then vote for your favorites (multiple selections are allowed):
Norval Joe
It was the morning of their final day on the face of El Capitan, in Yosemite National Park.
He sat on the edge of his port-o-ledge and adjusted his climbing harness.
He felt the layer of fat on his teeth and tongue and regretted eating the ‘Slim Jim’ the night before.
All their supplies were in the large pack they hauled up after each pitch they climbed. Water was limited on a multi-day climb, but he needed to brush his teeth.
As he spread hydrocortizone cream on his toothbrush, he suddenly realized why his jock itch wasn’t getting any better.
Danny Machal
Shakespeare leaned against a brick wall contemplating ancient prose.
‘Let’s face it, this stuff was drudging to read and made even the most poor pauper wish for the guillotine,’ he thought.
There was an explosion of brick and a brightly dressed man appeared.
“Art thou bored?!” the man shouted.
“Is this entirely appropriate? You can’t just…” but he was interrupted.
“Step into a SLIM JIM!” the rough looking man was forceful.
He proceeded to bite vigorously on a stick of meat. A snap was heard and the nearby grain mill exploded, showering them with bits of debris.
Houston Keys
OK, Macho Man, you ready to go buddy.
Yeah brother, I’m ready to go.
OK, here’s your line. “Step into a Slim Jim!” Anytime you’re ready.
What?
“Step. Into. A. Slim. Jim.” Whenever you feel it babe.
I thought it was “Snap into a Slim Jim.” That’s what we’ve been
saying for years.
Well Babe, change of plans. This is a new strategy, a new look.
How exactly do you “Step” into a Slim Jim? That doesn’t even make
sense. What kind of moron made this campaign up?
Do you want your paycheck or not?
“STEP INTO A SLIM JIM!”
Jeffrey Hite
It was not until he stood that he realized that his legs didn’t work. He fell painfully to his knees, or at least he believed it should be painful, because he could not feel his legs. Somewhere between sitting and standing he had been hit in the back, just below his ribs.
“You stole my car,” said a very angry woman now standing before him .
“What?”
“You stole my car you bastard, on my wedding day. He thought I stood him up.” Dumb founded he looked at her. “But we found your finger prints on your dropped slim jim.”
Guy David
Slim Jim stepped into the jungle gym. The metal rods expended around him. He started climbing, forever reaching upwards. As the ground disappeared below him a bus appeared, flying between the rods. Slim Jim advanced towards the bus, then he made a jump for it. Unfortunately, he missed it. As he fell down he could see the face of Elvis, the bus driver staring at him, then the bus dove for him, trying to catch him. Sadly, Elvis couldn’t fly as well as he could drive. Slim Jim ended as a squashed mess on the floor of the jungle gym.
Platinum Lightning
“Hey, look what I just invented. It’s a round stick of dehydrated meat.”
“Cool! It can be a snack or a dowel!”
“Looks marketable to me.”
“That’s not all. It’s magical. Take a bite.”
“Is that a portal?”
“Yep.”
“Is it safe to go inside?
“Probably. I haven’t tried it myself.”
“Here I go.”
“Ugh, what’s happening to him?”
“He’s being eaten by cactus people.”
“There go his arms. Ew. I think these are marketable enough without the portal.”
“I was thinking the exact same thing.”
Anima
Howdy Pardner! Put some spaghetti in your western role-play – Step right into a Slim Jim today!
If you need to cowboy up, but don’t have a clue, then put on the white hat that gives you the Sergio Leone backdrop you’ve been searching for. Swagger like you’ve spent a month on the Chisholm Trail, smile a gap toothed grin that shows you floss with barbed wire, and use a ten gallon vocabulary that consists of “yep”, “nope”, and “ ‘nother whiskey for me and my horse.”
Don’t be fooled by other inferior white hats – Accept only genuine Slim Jim’s.
Lynda
“What’ve we got?”
“Macho Man Randy Savage. Looks like he blew through the wall of that skyscraper, did the big diving elbow drop.”
“Ew.”
“Yeah.”
“Find any tire tracks?”
“Nah, if it was that bus his body wouldn’t be here.”
“True. Think it’s the same perp that lured the Kool-Aid man out of the Space Needle?”
“Beats me.”
A Slim Jim crunched under the coroner’s foot. He picked it off the ground and bit into it. I cringed.
“What? It’s not like he’s gonna eat it.”
High above, the leader of the mechanically separated chicken justice league clucked contentedly.
Laurie
She was ready…her hair done up tight in a blue bandana. Her body was tense and she could smell the fear in the air. . every time she raised her fist in the air the girls behind her would chant …the tears would fade and the anger surfaced. her opponent looked to be at least four years her elder. the skanky Cholo pulled her knife and her smile angered Shovay. Shovay swung
immediately knocking the knife to the ground. As the girl knelt to retrieve the knife she delivered a fatal blow, the carcass fell and brain matter spilled into the cracks in the sidewalk. The Cholo’s baby sister started screaming at Shovay
and came at her…she held up the slim-jim just to push the young one away…forgetting she had sharpened the end…as the lil one stepped into it running its point between her ribs and deep within her lung….shovay withdrew the slim jim and the city fell silent …the only sound was a faint whistle of air escaping from Jelli’s Wound. It wasn’t suppose to go down like that.
Justin
“Jim, you home? Vacation was a blast!”
He rolled in his suitcase and dropped his keys on an end table right next to Jim’s. The suitcase he leaned against a wall.
“Hey, Jim?”
The TV was on. A game waited on the screen, paused. No Jim in sight.
A look in the kitchen and the bathroom also revealed no Jim.
Jim’s bedroom was dark. On the way to the lamp, Matthew stepped into something squishy.
When he flipped in the light, he found that he had stepped into his roomate’s decayed remains.
In the background, The Who began to play.
Mike P
At Donovan’s Institute for Personal Control, we believe in your
freedom to choose. You may have been born in just one specific body,
but thanks to modern technology you don’t have to stay there. Our
revolutionary External Control System makes stepping in to a different
body as easy as walking through a door. In seconds you can be taller,
shorter, more athletic, blonde, brunette, younger, or older. Some of
our clients have even stepped into bodies of the opposite gender.
Whether you want to be a Fat Matt or step into a Slim Jim, we’d love
to help you out.
Planet Z
There’s this Broadway show called “Snap” that’s getting rave reviews.
No, not “Stomp.” These people don’t stomp. They snap.
Their fingers snap like firecrackers, gunfire, or as light as a kiss on the back of the neck.
Their big star is named Jim Slim. Each of his fingers are worth a million bucks.
Insured by the Mob, it turns out.
One evening, he’s going through his routine, and he slips and falls.
But the snapping doesn’t stop. It’s a recorded track.
He’s been doing hand-sync all along.
What did Jim Slim step in?
The Mafia snapped his legs.