Author: R.

• Lisa
• Lizzie
• Serendipidy
• Richard
• Norval Joe
• Tom
• Planet Z

The next topic is Thousand

LISA

A Born Showman.
The Star sobbed: she’d wanted to play Mary. So, the spotlight shone on three kings… One shuffled forward and muttered “Gold.” The next stepped forward and shuddered as he tried to keep giggles at bay.
“Frankie’s Sense.” He nudged Frankie who was playing Joseph. Then, the third King.
“I couldn’t find Myrrh. No one anywhere seemed to know what it was.” he said as he moonwalked across the stage.
“So, I got this.”
His hand held aloft; the spotlight swung towards it.
“This…”
He sashayed around the crib
“This Gift Card can be used in every major retailer in Bethlehem.”

NORVAL JOE

When they entered Billbert’s house they found Sabrina in the family room surrounded by shopping bags. She looked up, her eyes bright. “Look Billbert. We bought so many clothes they gave us a $25 gift card.” Her eyes clouded over when she saw Linoliamanda. “What’s she doing here?”

Defensive, Billbert said, “Mandy’s dad’s in a coma and they don’t know when he will wake up. So, I said she could stay here. There are two beds in the guest room, you know.”

Sabrina sighed, holding up a lacy sleep set. “Beggars can’t be choosers. She can wear the cat pajamas.”

SERENDIPIDY

I turned over the next card in the sequence, the six of pentacles.
“Ah”, I murmured, “the gift card”.
His face lit up in expectation as I continued.
“It seems you may receive something of value in the future; I cannot say what that may be, but it could make you a very wealthy man!”
“Tell me more” he begged.
“First, cross my palm with silver… plenty of silver!”
He anxiously paid up, and I turned the next card, which elicited a gasp.
“Death! How unfortunate. Let’s hope your gift comes soon, and you live long enough to enjoy it!”

RICHARD

— Gift card —
It was the usual pointless question.
“So what do you want for Christmas?”
Every year the same irritating question, and my answer, the same as always: “I don’t know. There’s nothing I want or need.”
It drew the usual, predictable response. “You’re hopeless dad, at least give us some ideas.”
“Just get me a gift card then.”
And so, come Christmas Day, that’s exactly what I got: A gift card, just like last year, and the year before that, as far back as I can remember.
And, as always, it ended up unused in the drawer with all the others.

TOM

That is remembered lives.

Gail was Linda’s matron of honor. As a courtesy I volunteer to take wedding photos. The groom, Jack Darkhand, gave me an Amazon Gift Card. Never cashed it in. Lived in my wallet till my wallet was stolen. While I still retained ownership, for time to time I’d take it out and give it a look. Did that for his first child, then his second. Did that when he got sacked from a tech job in Seattle for have XY chroms. Took it out during his wake. Show it to Linda, told her I think I’m just going to keep this.

LIZZIE

She loved adventure! She hated books. But the damn gift card said “Books”. At the bookstore, she looked lost. So, the bookseller said, “We have some mystery packs.” Well, OK… “A mystery pack, it is.” When she opened the pack, it was… let’s just say a surprising pack. You had to call a series of phone numbers to get the pick-up locations. The first one was called “Whispers Among the Gravestones” and the pick-up point was the local abandoned cemetery. Who would’ve thought that books could be so interesting after all? She would take some pepper spray, just in case.

PLANET Z

I always thought it strange when my father would give out store gift cards as tips instead of cash.
Until I saw him grabbing a stack of them at Target and putting them in his pocket.
Without activating them at the register.
Technically, it’s not illegal to hand them out.
Maybe it’s a form of fraud if he’s claiming they have value.
He did this for years, handing out worthless cards.
After I grew up and moved out, and he got forgetful, he did this scam at the same place more than once.
And no restaurant would seat him again.

• Lizzie
• Richard
• Norval Joe
• Tom
• Planet Z

The next topic is Gift Card

LIZZIE

Mr. Right lived in the lighthouse across the street. The place was hideous and no one ever visited it. Mr. Right was the typical know-it-all. When proven wrong, he’d blatantly lie. Everyone hated him, everyone except his neighbor who’d often ask to see the gallery because, as he said, “he enjoyed the fresh air”. And he tried, he tried many times. Mr. Right knew the neighbor wanted the lighthouse. Some plan to increase the flow of tourists and become the mayor. It turned out, Mr. Right wasn’t Mr. Stupid so he never stood alone on that balcony with Mr. Ambitious.

RICHARD

– Mister Right –
She peered at me critically over the top of her horn-rimmed glasses.
“It’s Mister, right?”
I was confused.
“I’m sorry, I don’t understand the question.”
She sat back and sighed, folding her arms.
“Your personal pronouns! You need to tell me how to address you. I’ve learned the hard way not to make assumptions!”
“Ah, right”, I nodded, “yes, it’s Mister. Mister is just fine.”
She turned back to her keyboard, and tapped a few keys. “We’re done.”
I stood up, and glanced at her name badge, “Well, thank you, Miss Philpot.”
“It’s Mister!” She snapped, with a frown.

TOM

A journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step

Men are searching the world for the perfect woman. Women not so much, with a choice between the perfect haircut or the perfect Mr. Right, you known in your heart, a reasonable quaff, wins hands down. It would be great if Mr. Right was a hairdresser, not likely. Wasn’t that the central plot of the film Shampoo. Let’s get back to that perfect Mr. Right crossing the globe in search of Miss Right, as always, don’t rule out Mrs. Right. Hell it’s American, it’s what we do. The weary Mr. Right will wander before her without her taking a step.

NORVAL JOE

Walking along the dark street, Linoliamanda suddenly asked, “Why were you staring at those teenage volunteers?”

Not realizing she had noticed, he stammered, “Well. I guess I was thinking. Those girls are so pretty, they would never notice a scrawny kid like me.”

“Do you think I’m pretty?” she asked.

Then he really stammered, “Um. Yeah. Sure. Why?”

“Daddy’s older than Mother and he said he’s amazed that Mother would love an ugly old man like him. And she says, she always knew he was Mr. Right.” Linoliamnada stopped Billbert. “The right girl will always love you, no matter what.”

SERENDIPIDY

He always had to be Mr Right.
Always holding the moral high ground, always the one to win an argument, never one to back down or give way.
He was arrogant, uncompromising and incapable of admitting defeat.
It was these qualities that attracted me to him.
Don’t misunderstand me; it wasn’t that I like those sort of character traits – no, I loathe them with a passion, but he was precisely the sort of person that I love to put firmly in their place.
And that place, was six feet underground.
You really can’t say I was in the wrong.
Right?

PLANET Z

Every time we come across a mass grave, we excavate the site and sort out the bodies.
The few with identification, we send to the agents to contact any remaining family for handling and burial.
The many without, we take DNA samples and cross-reference genetic markers with genealogy databases.
Most families ended up in the same mass graves, so there’s a lot of dead ends.
There’s not much money and jewelry left to loot. The regime cleaned them out pretty thoroughly.
After all is said and done, we put the bodies back in the site and place a stone monument.