Author: R.

Welcome to the 100 Word Stories podcast at oneadayuntilthedayidie.com.

This is the Weekly Challenge, where I post a topic and then challenge you to come up with a 100 word story based on that topic.

We’ve got stories by:

• Munsi
• Jeffrey
• Charlie
• Lizzie
• Richard
• Tura Brezoianu
• Danny
• Serendipity
• Zackmann
• Marv
• Norval Joe
• Planet Z

TOM
(no audio)

Wrapped Up With a Bow

“What’s in the box,” asked Laura. Frankie replied, “Stuff.” “OOOOH” said Laura. “I want to see.” “Nope, you got to wait.” “I want to see it now.” “Not a chance. We open the box on HogFather’s day just as the sun rises.” “That sucks.” “Get over it.” Frankie placed the package under the yum-yum tree. “Moooooooooooom! Frankie wouldn’t let me open the box.” Much to Frankie horror Mom put the box in Laura’s hands and smiled. She tore it open to find a lump of coal. “Should have waited,” smile Frankie, until she clock him in the forehead with it.

MUNSI

Drop It

By Christopher Munroe

“Drop it like it’s Hot” is an amazing early 2000s club jam, quite possibly Snoop Dogg’s finest moment.

It is, however, horrible advice if you work at a resaurant. The food is always going to be hot and in spite of that it does need to be carried to the table safely.

Dropping things simply because they are hot means re-cooks, angry guests and wasted food. Frankly, in spite of how amazing we all agree Snoop D-o-double-g is, we cannot afford to be following his example.

It wouldn’t be economically viable.

In summery: Snoop Dogg is awesome, and you’re fired.

JEFFREY

The Boxer
by Jeffrey Fischer

Matt had an anger management problem. He would lash out at co-workers, kick holes in walls, and beat up hapless office equipment. His therapist suggested he learn to box to channel his aggression. Matt took the advice to heart.

One day his trainer said Matt was ready for an opponent in the ring. He laced his gloves and stepped into the ring with one of the regulars at the gym. Forty-five seconds later, Matt was back in his corner, bleeding and woozy. “What happened, kid?” the trainer asked. “You never got off a punch.”

“I dunno,” Matt replied. “My shrink told me to leave all my angry thoughts with the bag. When I looked into Juan’s eyes, I realized I had no quarrel with him. I couldn’t hit him.”

The Most Precious Gift
by Jeffrey Fischer

Jake was only seven, but he understood the true meaning of Christmas: presents, mainly for him. As early as October, he pestered me for one thing after another. Legos, trucks, superheroes, video games – you name it.

As I thought about what to get him, inspiration struck. On Christmas morning, Jake ripped apart the wrapping and eagerly opened the box to find… nothing. The box was empty. I told Jake, “You have the opportunity to use your imagination – can be anyone, do anything. You don’t need a specific toy.”

For some reason, Jake didn’t seem as appreciative as I had expected. He didn’t speak to me for two months. For that, I considered the box to be my most successful gift ever.

CHARLIE

She kept things in her box. Bits of string, small stones found on the beach, scraps of paper, the stump of a pencil, a few coins, and the first flower her boyfriend gave her. As she got older, she stuffed more and more things into her box. It was almost filled to the breaking point. Her family didn’t understand, and they admonished her for doing what she was doing. They didn’t want their daughter to break her box, or to imperil her health. Her box had been in the family for twenty years, and they wanted it for twenty more.

2nd

The box held all that I knew, all that I thought, and all that I produced. It was a fifty petabyte storage unit that was tethered to high speed fiber. It allowed me to back up all devices with access to my personal network, including my implant. I could backup to the cloud and to the box, itself. The box was still experimental, and the IBM/Amdahl chips inside were still in beta, as was the implant in my skull. If I wanted to go “off line”, I had to hold a small radio to my temple to switch it off.

3rd

She always thought far outside the box. In fact, many thought that she didn’t know what a box was. She was the top designer at GeenDozen…a firm in Holland. She surrounded herself with very capable designers, writers, and artists. They would bid on an assignment, and within a few days would have a workable solution, templates, and mockups to show to the client. Mariëlle kept her secret from her fellow workers. She would sneak out at lunch and consult with an old woman in the storefront across the street. The old woman would brew a special, red tea for Mariëlle.

LIZZIE

It was impossible not to notice the stench.

Postal Inspection officers opened the parcel. Dogs were called in to sniff the box for drugs and human remains. They found nothing.

The parcel was sent on its way.

The next day, the news reported the mysterious death of an elderly couple, after the mail was delivered to them.

No one mentioned the man with a grudge against the Postal Inspection Services, grumbling in his living-room.

Opening the box should have triggered an immediate lethal chemical reaction. Okay, it was a really bad idea to send the damn parcel to his parents…

RICHARD

Treasure

Feeling rather pleased with himself, Bilbo Laggins secured the ogre’s bonds, brushed off his hands, and headed off down the path to find the brute’s hoard.

Sure enough, behind the third oak on the right, hidden in a small cave, he found a large wooden box, secured with a solid looking padlock.

No problem – Laggins still carried the stake with which he’d clobbered the ogre; a couple of solid blows soon released the hasp, and with a smile, he carefully lifted the lid.

Staring at the glittering treasure, he began to think maybe this quest was worthwhile, after all!

Clearly Capable

The interview seemed to have gone well…

“Got to tell you son, I’m giving you the green light – you’ve got the engagement delta we need. Our people think outside the box, push the envelope and harness their vertical experiences in scalable rethinking!”

This didn’t sound like me at all.

“Are you sure I’m your guy?”

“Hell yes! We need to push the peanut forward on this… Get you onboard to start leveraging our effectiveness matrix.”

“So you’re offering me the job?”

“Yep. You’ve got the footprint that sits squarely in our operating model.”

“Meaning what?”

“You’re a straight talker!”

TURA

Box

———

Abba Jerome visited Abba Genarius on the day of Our Lord’s birth, and gave him a box of Egyptian sweetmeats.

A year later, Abba Genarius visited Abba Jerome, and gave him that same box, still full, saying, “Thank you for this opportunity to resist the weakness of my body.”

A year later, Abba Jerome visited Abba Genarius, giving him that same box again, saying, “The virtue of abnegation cannot be contained.”

A year later, Abba Genarius gave the box to Abba Jerome, saying, “I cannot open this while my brother stands in want.”

Then they laughed and ate them together.

——

Music credit: “Chant from a Holy Book”, by Georges Gurdjieff, played by the Gurdjieff Folk Instruments Ensemble.

DANNY

How did that telemarketer know I was suffering from acid indigestion the exact moment he called, and he specifically was the cause of it despite the fact I was already taking Maalox? Is that what a premonition is supposed to feel like? Annoying? I feel trapped inside this large square like thing, what do you call it? I wish I was trapped in this thing last time I walked my deaf dog off leash, because I assure you, as soon as he sees that 1st car go by, he ain’t coming back no matter how much you call his name.

SERENDIPITY

So, you want to know what’s in the box?

Well, that would be telling… And it really is better for all concerned that you remain in ignorance, to be quite honest.

But when you look at me with those puppy dog eyes, it’s so hard to resist…

All right then, if you must, and if you’re really sure you can handle it, I might consider relenting. After all, what harm could it do?

I insist that it’s on my terms though: You come to me.

Call round tonight, and come alone – you know the address.

Just ask for Pandora.

ZACKMANN

The shopkeeper told me he wasn’t sure if he had a small lockable plastic box nor a three lock box. He had a heart shaped box for Always. He did have a toy Porsche Boxster driven by a boxer dog and a music box with a pro boxer dancing around the ring. I told him a dancing boxer seemed silly to me then he told me not to say anything around Manny or he would give me a Pacqui owie. Then I found the plastic ammo box. It might be strange that I purchased an ammo box to store medicine.

MARV

The Box.

Marcus the elf had always been the practical joker in Santa’s workshop. He took a box, drilled a large hole in the bottom, attached a lid and painted it like a Jack in the box. Then he painted the insides white, highlighting the hole in red. He then poked his finger through the hole and wiggled it around, Perfect!

As Mrs. Claus approached on her weekly inspection tour, he calmly sat with the box in his lap. When she stood in front of his station, he Flipped open the lid with both hands, smiled and asked, “Like the new Jack?”

NORVAL JOE

At the beginning of the 21st century several bored billionaires developed a plan to mark humanities place in galactic history. They gathered images from pivotal moments of life on earth, placed them in a crystal cube, and the cube into a protective titanium box.

When activated, the cube would flash the images in chronological order.

They placed the box in a probe and launched it toward the outer depths of space.

42 million years later an advanced civilization retrieved the probe from space, followed the diagram instructions on how to open it, removed the cube, and played in the box.

PLANET Z

Every Christmas, I wrap dozens of boxes and drop them off at the Toys For Tots.
Laptop computer boxes, chemistry set boxes, building block boxes… lots of boxes.
Nothing in them, mind you. Just the boxes. Empty boxes.
I pick them out of my neighbors’ trash cans.
Then, I wrap them up and give them to Toys For Tots.
Is it cruel?
Of course it is.
My cats love empty boxes.
I’m taking away their boxes and giving them to the kids.
Plus, they love to play in wrapping paper.
And the ribbons and bows, too.
Stupid Toys For Tots!

Welcome to the 100 Word Stories podcast at oneadayuntilthedayidie.com.

This is Weekly Challenge, where I post a topic and then challenge you to come up with a 100 word story based on that topic.

We’ve got stories by:

• Munsi
• Jeffrey
• Charlie
• Richard
• Lizzie
• Serendipity
• Marsha
• Zackmann
• Tom
• Anima
• Norval Joe
• Tura Brezoianu
• Planet Z

MUNSI

My Favorite Card Trick

By Christopher Munroe

Shuffle the cards, and make sure they’re shuffled well. Allow others to shuffle, if anyone would like, it makes no difference.

Once the deck’s randomized to everyone’s satisfaction, have somebody pick a card, not show it to you, and put it in their pocket.

Then look that person in the eye and, in a calm, steady voice, ask: “Is your card the queen of clubs?”

One time in fifty-two, this trick CRUSHES, people I did it for years ago STILL wonder how I pulled it off.

I tell them I’m an actual sorcerer.

There are times when they believe me…

JEFFREY

Reading the Future
by Jeffrey Fischer

Madame Zathras turned over five cards from her private Tarot deck. Beth watched in fascination as the reader explained, “First card: two rocks. Misfortune looms before you. Second: pencil stub. You will have a short life. Third: eyeglasses. Misfortune will be the result of one who does not see well. Next card: bleeding heart. Your husband will miss you terribly. Last card: blind man. You are skeptical of my predictions.”

Skepticism didn’t come close to what Beth thought. She mainly regretted the $25 she had given this fraud. Nodding to Madame Zathras, she left the shop, banging the door behind her. Still angry, she stepped off the curb and into the path of a Metro bus, whose driver was texting and failed to see Beth.

Madame Zathras was wrong in one respect: Beth’s husband was not particularly upset.

Indecision
by Jeffrey Fischer

“I just can’t decide,” said Stanley. “Maybe Ozzie Smith, the ‘Wizard of Oz.’ You know he won an amazing 13 Gold Gloves?”

“Uh-huh. Good choice.” The day was drawing to a close, and the dealer was getting tired. One more sale and he’d be on his way.

“No, wait. How about the amazing Rogers Hornsby. Lifetime .358 batting average, two Triple Crowns, the only player to hit 40 home runs and bat above .400 in a season. Or Bob Gibson, with his 1.12 ERA in 1968. Or my namesake, Stan Musial, with a .331 lifetime average over twenty-three seasons. Or Lou Brock and his 938 stolen bases.”

“All great choices, kid, but I ain’t got all day. Just pick a Card, any Card.”

CHARLIE

I shuffled the deck and asked one of the guests to pick a card. A woman pulled a card from the middle of the deck and held it close for a moment, setting it down on the table. It burst into flames and the ash and smoke lifted up a few feet, and in a split second, vanished. The flame was the trick. I asked if anyone had taken a picture or was filming during the trick. No one had. What person or force had caused the flame and the total absence of ash or residue? The maid laughed aloud.

##

I am a jack of all trades, a bit of a showoff, and a self-taught pilot, inventor, poet and astronomer. I carry six different business cards wherever I go. When I am engaged in a conversation, and it’s time to leave, many ask for my card because I am so frigging fascinating. I pull out my packet of cards and ask them to pick a card…any card. Cards list one of my six, different occupations. The cards include all the basic information, including my hourly rate. I am not affordable, and don’t like to be bothered, excluding Goth women.

RICHARD

Cynic

Call me cynical, but commercialisation of every notable occasion is getting out of control.

It used to be that we only celebrated birthdays, weddings and Christmas. Now it seems anything Is fair game… ‘Grandparents Day’, ‘Congratulations on getting the sack’, ‘Best of luck with your bankruptcy’ – if there’s an occasion that can possibly be marked, Moonpig has you covered – and you dare not forget to send a card.

Personally, I no longer try to conform, I just pick a card – any card, and whatever it is, I send it.

So, Happy Persistent Vegetative State Day! Enjoy it!

LIZZIE

The seer spread the cards on the table.

“Pick a card… any card.”

The one Sophie picked said “Wind, Doll, Disgust”.

“Which deck is this?” asked Sophie.

“My own… You’ll die.”

Sophie was horrified. She had been told that seers never announced someone’s death like that.

“Stabbed.”

“What does that have to do with wind, doll and…?”

“Nothing.”

Annoyed, Sophie left.

A gust of wind dragged a naked, headless doll to Sophie’s feet; it was covered in blood. She stopped to kick it out of her way and… a piano fell on her head.

Yep, the seer was still learning.

SERENDIPITY

Is lady luck smiling on you today?

Go on, pick a card, any card, and don’t tell me what it is.

Not that it really matters what card you’re holding – you see, I’m the dealer, and the odds are firmly in my favour.

How about we raise the stakes a little – are you willing to bet your life on that hand you’re holding?

Now, let’s see your cards.

Impressive. But I still win.

You see, not only was the deck loaded, but so is the pistol pointing straight at you, that I had hidden underneath the card table.

MARSHA

GYPSY

Every year I went to the carnival that came to town. I entered a small battered tent that read “Madame Sophia”, your heart’s delight will be revealed. A dark haired beauty stared at me and said it would $20. She laid ten cards face down on the table and asked me to take a card…any card…..I awoke 3 days later in an alley outside of town with a tattoo on my penis that says Shorty’s. When erect it says Shorty’s Truck Stop, Chattanooga Tennessee.

ZACKMANN

After Cliff said “If you people keep linking to things on Pinterest, I’m going to have to sign up for it.” I actually lemented Pinterest’s steps toward Facebookafication. Changing their website to require signing in to see posts. My current Pinterest Board is a sportball Board maybe I will start with that one city, Defiance or whatever it’s called. You know the one with giant silver half a McDonald’s sign. I don’t really follow much sportsball but want to Pin a profile of one important player for each sportsball team. What I am saying is “Pick a Cardinal any Card.”

TOM

Now you see it, now you don’t

Frankie double fanned the black dagger desk and lowered it level to Laura’s eye line. “Pick a card any card,” he said. Laura ran upstairs and dragged a stool under dad’s dresser. She dug around the top draw until she felt the edge of the card. “Here.” She said. “That’s not part of the trick,” said Frankie. “Is now,” said his sister “Don’t you dare,” yelled Frankie. “Ecto Morta, Esto ProMorta,” invoked Laura. Later that evening just about supper time Mom asked her if she had seen her brother. “Oh I saw him hop off in search of carrots.”

ANIMA

EVER THE OPTOMIST

My life is a game three card Monte. How does that damn one eyed Jack always show up where the red queen just was?

Lady Luck, why have you forsaken me? I put my five dollars down, and you sent me to a second rate college. I upped my bet, and got a job as a Lifestyle editor at a newspaper. I doubled down, when I thought I had enough in my 401K, but the shill called out “Cops!” and the stock market tanked.

So pick a card, any card, Is the lovey Judith going to show her face today??

NORVAL JOE

A stoop shouldered fortune teller limped through the crowded fair.

“One copper to reveal your future,” she cried in a crackling falsetto.

A gaily dressed lord approached the crone, winked at the lady holding his arm, and said, “Here’s a copper. Now, reveal my future.”

She thrust a tattered deck of cards at the man. “Pick a card. Any card.”

He chose and turned the card. “Ace of spades. Am I to die?” He laughed, slapping the deck from her hand, revealing all as ace of spades.

“Yes.” She gathered her cards as the man dropped dead at her feet.

TURA

Pick a card … any card!

———

“This is a nice card, don’t you think?”

“Goodness, no! It’s a misch-masch of Christmassy imagery, without composition or draughtsmanship. Your aunt will think we have no taste at all!”

“What about this one? Old Master fine art!”

“On a Christmas card? The very definition of kitsch. Anyway, it’s an inch too large. Remember, I hardly know her, and this would be slightly too much even for my own aunt.”

“This one?”

“Too eclectic. There’s symbols for at least four different religions!”

“Darling, we’ve been looking at Christmas cards for three hours.”

“Oh, just pick a card then. Any card!”

———

PLANET Z

The first card game I learned to play was War.

Deal out the cards, then show one card after another.

Highest card wins.

There wasn’t any skill to it. Unless you counted stacking the deck so you got all the aces.

Eventually, I learned Solitaire, Gin, Poker, Eurchre, Bridge, and so many other games.

Plus, Liar’s Poker and countless drinking games.

At my first job, I went back to War.

We’d collect everyone’s business card, and whoever you’d think would win an argument, won the matchup.

The owner of the company learned about the game, and he tore up my card.