Who is the most evil clown on television?
Some say it’s Pennywise from It, who lures children into the sewers to kill them through gruesome pranks.
Others say it’s The Joker, who is constantly threatening Gotham City with deadly terror attacks, which sometimes aren’t stopped in time by the Batman.
I think it’s Ronald McDonald, who has peddled his hamburgers, fries, and shakes to billions of people.
Unleashing an epidemic of heart disease, obesity, high blood pressure, and diabetes across the world.
Well, there’s also that clown in the Spawn comics and movies, but nobody reads or watches that crap.
Category: Weekly Challenge
Weekly Challenge #869 – Speed
RICHARD
Speed
The blue lights in my rear-view mirror weren’t exactly unexpected.
Sighing, I pulled over, wound down my window, and waited for the inevitable.
“Any idea why I’ve stopped you, sir?”
“I’m sorry” I said, “I know I was speeding, I’m late for an interview and thought I’d take a chance.”
He seemed pleasantly surprised I’d ‘fessed up, and following the obligatory breath test, which was negative, gave me the obligatory lecture and ticket.
With a final “Drive carefully, sir”, he let me go.
Honesty is always the best policy. Especially when you’ve a dead body stashed in the back!
SERENDIPIDY
Physics is important!
For example -terminal velocity: The maximum speed you’ll attain before you slam into the ground at over a hundred miles per hour. You’ll reach that in less than ten seconds.
Knowing that, I just need to find a good, high, cliff to throw you off. No need for the hassle and expense of chartering a plane and bribing the pilot, in fact, nobody else would ever need to know.
That’s apart from you, of course.
But, by the time you’ve figured out what I’m doing, you’ll have less than ten seconds to think about it.
Happy landings!
LIZZIE
It was great to live in a remote village. No hurry. No stress. And no pollution, they told him, a stern look on their faces. He got rid of the car, of course. He wouldn’t want to antagonize the villagers. One day, he dropped a knife on his foot (don’t ask) and there was no doctor close by. It looked bad… He wrapped his foot up and they said “take this, it’s fast”. Well… not. The darn moped died three times on him. And when he reached the doctor, there was an odd bird hopping behind him. No stress, huh?
DUANE
“Test of the new light-speed drive is ready to commence. May what we accomplish today be a testament to the ingenuity of all humankind. Coordinates locked in and we are awaiting your command, sir”
“Engage.”
“We over shot the planet by half a parsec, sir. Adjusting for time differential. New coordinates locked in. Awaiting command.”
“Engage.”
“Ok, that was a bit much the other direction. Adjusting. I have new coordinates locked. Awaiting comm…”
“ENGAGE!”
“Uh, just a little further and we should be near the planet. New coordinates are locked and ready, sir. Sir? I’ll just go ahead and engage.”
NORVAL JOE
The bully didn’t see Billbert flying toward him as he concentrated on throttling Sabrina. Billbert hit him, side on, at full speed, yanking his grip free from Sabrina’s throat.
“Get out of here,” Billbert yelled at the girls as he and the bully tumbled across grass, away from the sidewalk.
Sabrina didn’t waste any time and ran back toward the school office.
Linoliamanda stood there, looking confused.
Knowing the element of surprise would wear off, and the bully would pulverize him, Billbert ran to Linoliamanda, grabbed her around the waist, levitated a few inches and shot back down the street.
SCRIBBLING WREN
I believe…
Reuben had been working on his project since March. He was about to prove that Father Christmas was a hoax. It was the big night, Christmas Eve, all quiet in the house except a little mouse stirring his midnight cup of tea.
Reuben had fallen asleep but the Spy Cam was set up and trained on the Fireplace, where a pair of boots appeared and then the man himself.
With a brisk efficiency Santa drained the sherry glass, enjoyed the mince pie, stashed presents in stockings, straightened a picture, deleted the evidence off the camera and returned up the chimney.
PLANET Z
Every few months, I clean out the vacuum cleaner.
No, not the bags… it’s a bagless vacuum.
And I empty out the vacuum’s container after every use.
I clean out the agitator bristles and rollers, cutting tangled threads, scraping and dumping the accumulated junk into a wastebin.
It supposedly works more effectively if you get rid of the accumulated grime.
Sometimes, a big fuzzy clump of cat fur and spider webs gets lodged in there, and it sprays a cloud of dust on the ground.
Which means… I have to run the vacuum over it.
And the cycle begins anew.
Weekly Challenge #868 – Anaheim
RICHARD
Anaheim!
I had to Google Anaheim: Up to then, I’d always thought it was a brand of clothing, or maybe a beer manufacturer.
So, it came as a bit of a shock when I received the email telling me my job was being relocated to Anaheim; a particularly pleasant shock, when I found out my new base shared the same location as Disneyland, with a fabulous climate, amazing attractions, and a buzzing night life.
Of course, I jumped at the opportunity.
And, here I am!
Anaheim, Saskatchewan! Population 210, middle of nowhere, and absolutely nothing to do, at all!
Lucky me!
LIZZIE
“Check the map. Where’s Anaheim?”
“Oh, it’s a place? Sounded like a name.”
“It’s the name of a place. But did you know that Heim is home in German?”
“I wonder if we’ll meet Ana there.”
“Where?”
“At her home.”
“What?”
“It’d be a great name for a pub. Ana’s Pub. Open 24/7!”
“What are you talking about?!”
“Anaheim, the pub.”
“Anaheim isn’t a pub. It’s a huge city.”
“Is it open 24/7 like Ana’s pub?”
“No. It’s closed. Let’s check the map and go to Los Angeles instead.”
“Ah, Ana, the Angel.”
“Stop it! Stop it now!”
DUANE
California has always attracted cults. Must be something in the air. The most nefarious of the California cults started in the orange groves of Anaheim in the late 1950s. Early followers were easy to spot with their big-eared hats that showed “I’m listening.”
The workers at the cults main compound have all taken on new identities. They are not allowed to “break character”. Everyone has that eerie Stepford Wives’ smile and up beat high voice.
Even I find myself playing along. Handing over my hard-earned money. Standing in line for hours. After all, isn’t this the “happiest place on earth.”
TURA
Anaheim
———
After my parents first took me to Disneyland, I always wanted to go again and again. But it would only ever be once, maybe twice a year. We lived in Anaheim, and we would always walk. Although it was just a mile as the crow flies, it seemed far longer. Later, I wondered whether we had taken a deliberately circuitous route, to make it seem further away.
Eventually, I was old enough to go everywhere on my own, even past the chaos of the Santa Ana Freeway. I could go to Disneyland whenever I wanted.
I’ve hardly been there since.
JRADIMUS/JARED
WC827 Cliche
“I’m so sorry for your loss.”
“Sending you our deepest condolences.”
“You’re in our thoughts and prayers.”
“She’s in a better place.”
“At least she’s no longer in pain.”
“It’s so unfair.”
“Fuck cancer.”
When someone you love dies, you hear every cliche in the book. Everyone struggles to know what to say, so they regurgitate the consolations they’ve heard before. They mean well, and I know they want to help. They don’t know what else to do or say, so they say the only things they can think of, and hope it helps.
I know, for me, it did.
WC868 Anaheim
“The happiest place on Earth” – Cheesy as it is, I’ve tried to make it real.
I adopted Anaheim as my hometown when I moved here over 18 years ago to be near the woman that would become my wife for almost 17 years. Orange County is my turf. I’ve lived at the same address here longer than any other address in my life. Trish passed in January, 2022. Anaheim isn’t as happy as it used to be. But it would dishonor her life if I didn’t try to make it ‘the happiest place on Earth’ for me again. I’m trying.
SERENDIPIDY
Fifth floor, last door on the left. You can’t miss the brass name plate on the door: ‘Ana Heim, Dental Technician’.
No need to knock, just go through and take a seat. She’s expecting you.
Please don’t be alarmed at the screams from the consulting room, it’s really nothing to worry about.
Neither should you be concerned about the trails of blood on the waiting room floor. Ana knows what she’s doing.
She’s old school, and operates with the steely precision and ruthlessness for which the Germans pride themselves.
And, she’s good.
You’ll never need to see a dentist again!
NORVAL JOE
Billbert charged away from the bullies, down Main Street and turned onto Anaheim Avenue, headed toward home expecting to hear two sets of footfalls chasing him. All was silent as he stumbled to a stop. They weren’t following.
He wanted to go back and check on Sabrina and Linoliamanda, but didn’t want to risk being seen by the bullies.
Billbert levitated and flew just above the pine trees to where he could see the larger boy with his hand at Sabrina’s throat.
Incensed that the jerk would pick on a girl, Billbert shot forward at full speed, tackling the boy.
PLANET Z
When Father would come home drunk, Little Ana hid in the shed.
The stink of fertilizers, burning her eyes.
Father, stomping and grumbling.
Her hands, clutching garden shears.
The beat of her heart.
Louder. Faster.
Would Father pass out this time?
God, please?
Or would he pull open the door and…
Father retches loudly, falls with a thud.
Ana will have to clean him up tomorrow.
Relieved, Ana opened the shed door.
Father, standing there, vomit down his chin.
He grabbed her, a loud moan, and fell, shears buried in his chest.
Ana will have to clean him up tomorrow.
Weekly Challenge #867: Irresistible
RICHARD
Irresistible
You’d think that being identical twins, my brother and I would have equal chances with girls, but the truth of the matter was it was him the girls found completely irresistible.
Sure, we both had the good looks, but I never made the effort that he did.
He was the one who was always effortlessly stylish: Designer clothes, expensive aftershave, the works. He even got a monthly manicure.
No wonder the girls loved him.
But they were inevitably disappointed – he was gay!
I may have been second best.
But, thanks to him, it was me who got the girl!
LIZZIE
It was irresistible.
Tick tock, tick tock.
3am.
Tick tock, tick tock.
Let the hunt begin.
The silence of a heartbeat on the wall.
3am and here we go, three hours till dawn.
I have mapped it all out in my head. Left, left, right and left.
And there’ll be the gate.
Tick tock, tick tock.
I won’t run this time. I’ll zigzag from shadow to shadow. Quietly. Slowly.
Tick tock.
The door creaked a loud alarm.
Tick tock. Tick, tock. Tick, tock.
And I ran. I just ran.
But… I was caught again.
Tick…
I was caught…
Tock.
SERENDIPIDY
I’m irresistible.
It’s certainly not my looks that the boys are drawn to. Rubbery, scaly skin tends to repel, rather than attract.
I’ve no need for expensive perfumes. No fragrance can hide the smell of fish and seaweed, brine and silt that accompany my presence. They are hardly inviting!
And yet, when I sing, men find me utterly irresistible.
My voice reaches out across the ocean, compelling and captivating. It seduces and cajoles, drawing the unwary to their doom, inviting the entranced to a cold and watery grave.
I am the Siren, and my song is calling to you.
Irresistible.
DUANE
Free fall is the ultimate trip. No sense of falling. No sense of the fear that was overwhelming standing at the cargo door. Just floating through space and the clouds.
Now the ground rush begins. The details of houses and cars come into view. It’s almost time to pull the handle and deploy the parachute. There is an irresistible urge to not pull it. What would the experience be like? Would there be pain? What would be the last thoughts? The feeling of control is as powerful as the free fall. Make a decision now. Action or inaction. Do it.
(Music: Shamanic Rain Dance by Conca Varol)
NORVAL JOE
With two large bullies in front of him and two girls behind, Billbert had the irresistible urge to run. Since irresistible means a person cannot resist such an urge, Billbert ran. Not back between Sabrina and Linoliamanda, but toward the bully blocking his path.
Using a slight boost of his flying power, he jumped over the boys, landing about ten feet beyond them.
He realized that running made him look like a total wimp and not wanting to look bad in front of the two girls, he shouted, “If you want to beat me up, you’ll have to catch me.”
PLANET Z
I stocked up on popsicles, unsweetened applesauce, yogurt, and pudding today.
They’re all soft foods, which I’ll need after the dental surgery scheduled for next week.
I’d have waited to buy all this the day before, but I don’t like to wait until the last minute.
It rolls around my mind until I give in and just do it.
The problem is, now the fridge and freezer is full of this stuff.
And i need to eat the things in there I won’t be able to eat and will go bad.
Nah, I say, as I open a pudding cup.
Weekly Challenge #866 – PICK TWO The way we were, Waterproof, The wrong words, Bottomless pit, Safe, A word from an unknown language
RICHARD
Only words
It doesn’t matter what I say, or how I say it; the truth of the matter is that all you ever seem to hear are the wrong words.
You hear only want you want to hear, twisting and misinterpreting what I say to your own ends, and turning them against me.
I don’t know where it all went wrong, or why you changed.
I never changed.
Why haven’t I left? After all, that’s what you want, isn’t it?
But I’ll never leave.
Because I still believe you can change again.
And once more, we can be the way we were.
LIZZIE
The way we were always using the wrong words was a waterproof ticket to getting ourselves into a bottomless pit of trouble. It was definitely not safe to poke the beast but we insisted on doing it. At some point, we even came up with a language of our own. “Speaking in an unknown language won’t get you out of this mess,” she said, her eyes rolling in a remarkably odd way. We wanted to laugh but we didn’t, of course. Instead, we underlined random words in her books. Till this day, she keeps trying to figure it all out.
SERENDIPIDY
You imagine you’re safe.
Hiding away in the depths of the forest, far from the sounds of village life, you shun the daylight, sneaking out only under the cover of darkness, snatching a few stolen leftovers from the cooking fires, and covering your tracks at the first hint of dawn.
You imagine you’re safe, but you’re not at all.
You will never be safe.
And when the next full moon rises, the men of the village will seek you out, hunt you down and drag you, kicking and screaming to the elders.
A virgin sacrifice.
Cast into the bottomless pit.
DUANE
I looked over the old leather box with my flashlight. Somehow it had remained waterproof. Inside was a small delicate sheet of yellowed paper. In the center were two diagonal lines and an arrow pointing away from them. I held out the paper for my guide to see.
“I have heard stories of that mark being found in caves near my village,” he said.
“You are about to embark on a great adventure, my friend.”
I was excited, but didn’t think I could solve the meaning of the symbol before my time ran out. Maybe I’ll come back next week.
NORVAL JOE
Billbert frowned at Sabrina. “These two guys aren’t from the Guild of the Dark Knights. They’re just bullies.”
“That’s right,” the one in the middle of the sidewalk said. “We’re bullies and we’re going to beat the crap out of you. Bringing girls with you isn’t going to keep you safe.”
Sabrina spoke a word from an unknown language and clouds began to gather around them.
Billbert smirked. “I hope your jacket’s waterproof, because you’re about to get really wet.”
The bully stepped forward laughing. “My mom always said a little rain never hurt anyone, but my fist sure has.”
PLANET Z
When Sadie was born, she was constantly making noise.
Laughing, screaming, cooing.
And then, her first words.
At first, her parents thought they were babble words.
But they were utterly incomprehensible.
“We’re not sure what they are,” said the experts.
Colleges and universities around the world worked on the mystery for weeks, until one researcher figured it out.
“Does she have candy in her mouth?” she asked.
Sadie’s parents pulled a lolipop out of her mouth, and the kid swore up a storm.
“This is the last time we let the doctor give her those after a visit,” they said.
Weekly Challenge #865 – Record
RICHARD
Night Errors
Why is it that we have all our best ideas at the most inconvenient times?
For me, it’s always in the dead of night, lying in bed, when in that half-waking, half-asleep haze, storylines will wander unbidden through my mind; chapters, plots, characters and narrative slip into my thoughts, to form perfectly composed and complete stories.
Of course, by the following morning, I’ve forgotten everything. That bestselling story, lost forever.
I started keeping a notebook by the bed, just to record those nocturnal thoughts. Problem solved, you’d think.
But no. I’m so sleepy, I completely forget it’s there!
LIZZIE
He told her the coffee sucked.
She didn’t take it lightly.
He sneered. The situation was funny.
She said “no”. As a matter of fact, she heated a cup and threw it at his face.
He didn’t think the situation was funny anymore.
She laughed because now she thought it was hilarious.
He didn’t laugh.
She told him “chill”. Coffee was just coffee.
He said that coffee wasn’t just coffee a minute ago.
The burn mark on his face cost her a few years of her life.
Sometimes laughing becomes a serious matter, especially when you already have a record.
SERENDIPIDY
It was me.
I did it. It was all my fault, and I’m the guilty party.
You may not be able to prove any of it, in fact, I’m quite sure you can’t, but as God is my witness, I’m completely responsible, and proud of my achievements.
Maybe my confession is enough, but I doubt it will stand up in a court of law, especially since the star witness – me – will be conspicuous by my absence.
You won’t catch me. You don’t even know who I am.
All you will ever know, is that I’m responsible.
Just, for the record.
ZACKMANN
I asked a music instructor what would be an easy instrument for an older person to learn to play. I had a recorder like they tried to teach me to play in elementary school in mind.
He asked me why now. I told him that I’m a big fan of The Mutual Audio Network podcasts and would like to introduce my grandnieces to audio drama.
When he mentioned he still didn’t understand my sudden interest in playing instrumentals
I informed him that many of the shows I think they would like, warn children shouldn’t listen unless accompanied by an adult.
NORVAL JOE
Billbert headed for the gate of the junior high school with the two girls following him. “Are you following me?”
Sabrina said, “No. We’re just going home.”
Billbert stopped. Just beyond the gate were the two boys that picked the fight with him.
One of them blocked his way. “You thought you could escape without taking your beating. Come to me.”
Sabrina took out her phone and turned on the camera.
“Are you going to record this to show the principal?” Billbert asked.
“No. For the coven,” Sabrina said. “I want to show them how you vanquish the Dark Knights.”
TURA
Record
———
Old things are dangerous. Brute matter, no upgrades, no revisions. Antiques, my girlfriend called them.
Her latest find was a black plastic disc a foot across. “I haven’t found a playback machine yet,” she said, “but listen.” She took a pin and dragged it along the surface, and I heard a faint snatch of music.
“Data storage? In moulded plastic?” I groped for words. “But that’s…”
“Permanent recording?” she said blithely.
“Yes!” I shouted. “Do you realise the penalties?” I snatched it away from her and broke it over my knee, then threw the fragments into our apartment’s memory hole.
PLANET Z
I remember the first record I bought.
It was a Monty Python album I bought from my brother, who was getting rid of his comedy albums.
I got a bunch of other comedy albums from the store, like George Carlin and Emo Phillips.
And I listened to them a lot, over and over.
They filled the gap between comedy specials on HBO, because this was before streaming and on-demand.
Over time, I got tapes… then CDs… then MP3 downloads.
I don’t know what happened to my records or record player.
I shrug, and look up Gallagher on YouTube, and watch.
Weekly Challenge #864 – Remastered
TURA
Remastered
———
There’s a remastered edition of Marilyn Monroe coming out soon, using the very latest AI techniques and incorporating a ton of newly discovered archive material. They’re promising the next level of fidelity, the real person at last. But they always say that, and I’m not sure I want to upgrade mine. Yes, the new body would be updated with the history of my relationship with the old one, but it wouldn’t feel right. I remember when I had a courtesy replacement for a week when she needed major repairs. It was like making love to a machine all over again.
RICHARD
Remastered
If we can have digitally remastered music and videos, then I can’t see any reason why we can’t do the same with the written word too.
What if we could take an old manuscript, like the bible, for example, and use all the modern technology at our disposal to make a brand new, pristine copy.
A copy without the noise and glitches accumulated over centuries; language, and phrasing upgraded to modern standards; the odd edit to improve clarity; maybe even digitally recreate some of the most unclear segments, filling out the gaps and padding the narrative.
Refreshed, improved and better!
LIZZIE
“Have the songs been remastered yet? Who said so? It doesn’t matter if they’re good or bad, release them now. Well, he should’ve worked faster. I don’t care if it makes him look bad. Release them.”
And the songs were released, remastered, true, but never reviewed by the CEO.
The next day, the story broke. Rapper raps a warning to CEO about an impending hit. And no, it wasn’t a musical hit although the CEO sang like a canary, bribes, drug trafficking and shady businesses.
The rapper, well, he vanished and started a completely new career that paid much better.
SERENDIPIDY
My old, vinyl copy of Stairway to Heaven has started to show its age. There’s all the usual scratches and pops, of course, that’s only to be expected, but the original 1971 recording leaves a lot to be desired.
I decided to buy a remastered version, and the difference in quality is quite remarkable. So much clearer that I’d never have believed it.
For years, I’d tried playing the original backwards, but despite the rumours, I could never make out any satanic messages.
But with this one, they are crystal clear.
And they’re telling me to go forth and kill!
NORVAL JOE
After their final class of the day where the teacher played them digitally remastered recordings of Glen Miller’s greatest hits, Billbert headed home.
Sabrina stopped him. “Aren’t you going to the backstop to meet those two boys?”
Billbert looked that direction though there were buildings in the way. “No. I don’t think so. Why don’t you go tell them I’ll meet up with them next week?”
Sabrina looked stunned. “They could be from the Guild of the Dark Knights. You need to go vanquish them.”
Billbert turned back toward home. “No. They’re just bullies and it’s best to ignore them.”
PLANET Z
When the master died, he had no children to leave everything to.
So he left it to all of his slaves, who he freed.
They formed a collective, running the plantation as equals.
With a rotating council of managers, handling budgets and expenses and planning.
And everything ran pretty well. Better than other nearby plantations.
Good housing, good living.
Until the war came.
Soldiers burned the mansion, looted the fields for food.
They burned the houses, the sheds.
The schoolhouse, the church.
Took all the horses and farming tools.
“You’re free now,” said the soldiers.
And they marched off again.
Weekly Challenge #863 – PICK TWO Quit, Mouse trap, Base, Facts, Martian, Stamp
LISA
Last Wishes
We’re all sat around a cracked Formica table playing MouseTrap while the rain relentlessly shoots at the caravan roof.
“Oooh it’s good to be back at Base!” Dad motions to outside. He tries to stretch out to show how relaxed he is but can’t, there’s no room. The three sleeping bags from the tent drip water into a little puddle that slides towards the open door and escapes.
Mum’s having the time of her life though. And that’s what this is about – our last holiday together. We snuggle in tighter and not just because of the lack of space.
RICHARD
Mouse Trap
Every Christmas at family get-togethers it’s the same old routine.
Out comes the box, and we all spend an hour or so putting together the various board game pieces, for Mouse trap.
There are, of course, always pieces missing, and we can never get that ridiculous plastic basket to stay put where it’s meant to go. Half the mice have been substituted over the years for Monopoly pieces, which makes the whole thing a bit nonsensical.
And the game is always a crushing disappointment.
I wish you could just quit.
But it’s not in the rules. I double-checked!
LIZZIE
“Quit whining. The mouse trap has been set. The facts are the facts. What about the martian base? I don’t care about the martian base. Let them take care of their own base. We take care of our stuff. No! No way, you’re doing that. The order has been signed and stamped. What do you mean? Yes, with the stamp thing they always use. Not that one. The other one. The mouse trap? You know. No, I’m not saying the martians are mice. What?! We’re not going to stamp the martians! That’s not what I said! Oh, forget about it.”
SERENDIPIDY
Will I ever quit?
I doubt it.
I know it’s a disgusting habit. Antisocial, bad for my health and for the health of those around me, and nowhere near as acceptable as it once was, but I suppose I’m addicted, and I’ve no inclination to stop.
So, you can keep spouting all the facts at me until you’re blue in the face. Tell me it makes my clothes and surroundings reek as much as you like.
Because, I simply don’t care.
I enjoy it, and it relaxes me.
And although killing people may be morally wrong, I love doing it!
TURA
Mousetrap; stamp
———
I found a mouse in the trap today. It was still alive, its hindquarters crushed under the spring. I was taking the trap out to the garden when the mouse spoke to me.
“this world is broken and made of pain” it said in its tiny voice.
“all flesh hungers for obliteration” it said.
“if you knew you would beg to avoid reincarnation”
“pain is all that was and is and shall be”
“choose death”
I pulled open the spring and dropped the body on the garden path, then stamped it under my heel.
Why should I believe a mouse?
NORVAL JOE
Sabrina stamped her foot. “Quit wasting time.” She waved her hand. The rain stopped and the clouds slowly dissipated. “You have to face the facts, Billbert’s life is in danger. You can either help me protect him, or you can get out of my life.”
Linoliamanda looked stunned. “That was harsh.”
The bell rang to start their next class. Before Billbert could step that direction, two very large boys blocked him.
One poked him in the chest with a very hard finger and said, “You look like you want to fight. Meet me after school behind the baseball diamond backstop.”
PLANET Z
Freddy liked to tailgate.
But he didn’t tailgate football or baseball.
He tailgated executions.
He’d load up the truck with coolers and a grill and food and water and beer.
And he’d get a stack of sticks and signboards and a staplegun with staples.
And markers.
He’d sell stuff to the protestors, people from either side, whatever.
And made a lot of money from it.
Until someone tried to steal his cashbox, and he killed the guy.
Freddy was arrested, charged, tried, and convicted.
Death, of course.
And on the night of the execution, protestors showed up, waving blank signs.
Weekly Challenge #862 – What happens next?
LISA
The Split
Me and Paula were great together. I got the card details, I could play people, got them practically handing me their wallets. She’d call them straight after pretending to be from the bank’s fraud squad, this blocked the line so they couldn’t report anything. Meanwhile I’d go and spend, spend, spend. Expensive stuff we listed immediately on eBay. We were the perfect partnership, divided everything equally.
No one could see what would come next, someone conned me Nan, honestly it split me in two. I couldn’t do it after then.
Then Paula left. Apparently she loved the money, not me.
RICHARD
Your choice
I decided to write one of those ‘choose your own plot’ novels. You know the kind: Every time a plot-changing decision comes along, you decide which choice to take, and everyone’s story will turn out differently.
So, let’s give it a try!
What happens next? Did I finish the story in one hundred words, or not?
Yes, or no?
If you chose ‘no’, then read on. If not, skip to the last line.
So, you chose ‘No’, and as you predicted, I didn’t get to one hundred words… Only ninety-one!
And, since you chose ‘yes’… Of course I did!
LIZZIE
It was damn dark.
She unblocked the phone with his finger.
“The cheating bastard. That bitch will never get the jewels.”
She buried his hand. The rest of the body was somewhere out there, floating in the cold river.
So, what happens next, she thought.
“Get the damn jewelry box, that’s what happens next.”
Total silence.
“Fancy house, he bought her.”
She roamed about in the bedroom.
“Ah, here it is.”
When she opened the jewelry box, she gasped. A bullet?
When she turned around, it was too late.
Damn, it was dark and she had killed the wrong twin.
SERENDIPIDY
So, what happens next?
I think we both know the answer to that.
First, I’ll torture you in ways that can barely be imagined, then I’ll kill you and dispose of your body. Your remains will never be found.
Maybe, they’ll catch me; So what?
I’ll be famous. Newspapers will carry front-page spreads with my picture, books will be written about me, and – who knows – perhaps Netflix will serialise my life?
They may even make a blockbuster movie, about me.
And you?
You’ll just be a blurry photo; a location; a date.
Mostly forgotten. Just another of my victims.
NORVAL JOE
They stepped under the overhang near their classroom as the rainstorm increased in intensity.
Billbert nodded toward Sabrina. “Sabrina is a weather witch. She can control the weather.”
Linoliamanda sniffed. “So, what happens next, lightning and thunder?”
Sabrina shrugged. “If you want.”
With a flash and a boom a bolt of lightning stuck behind the school close to the football field.
Linoliamanda rolled her eyes. “Let me see you hit the flagpole.”
A second later, lightning struck the pole.
“Wait,” Sabrina said. “You said you believe I’m a witch.”
“I do,” Linoliamanda said. “I just wanted to see some magic.”
PLANET Z
While performing trials of the latest cancer drug on mice, Mindy observed that half of the mice turned blue while the other half exploded.
She ran the trial multiple times, and the results were the same.
Half blue, half exploded.
She handed the results to her supervisor, and he tore them up.
“Nonsense!”
Two hours later, watching blue mice scurry from the exploded carcasses of their fellow mice, he wasn’t so dismissive.
“Have you tried this on an odd number of mice?” He asked.
Mindy filled a syringe with serum, injected it into a mouse, and they watched and waited.
Weekly Challenge #861: Remote
LISA
A Sunday Drive
I was up front next to Dad.
It wasn’t a treat to be there, there was just no room in the back. My head juddered against the car window as I stared out, wondering what my friends were doing with their weekend. The city with its lights, traffic and bustle turned into country lanes full of so much green and sky. I felt I never wanted to blink again.
We stopped. It felt remote. Rabbits ran across a field full of little yellow flowers. Dad shouted at me to help drag the mattress out the van.
Then we went home.
RICHARD
Halloween
Putting aside the remote, and futile hope Halloween might be cancelled this year, he resigned himself to the annual onslaught of irritating kids, traipsing over his lawn to demand sweets, with dire warnings of repercussions, should he fail to deliver.
Grimly, he mused that any other night of the year, or if the rules were reversed and he was the one making threats to children, the authorities would, no doubt, take a dim view of such behaviour.
Halloween… He hated it.
Still, he’d get his own back on them at Christmas.
Santa grinned nastily, and poured himself another Jack Daniels.
LIZZIE
“The remote is not working. I cannot change the colors. What? We always change the colors. Summer, Autumn, Wint… Why not? But we just need a new remote. Well, you’re the Creator. That’s your job! Mine is to change the colors. OK, whatever.”
No Autumn this year.
Then, he sneered.
“No help from above?! OK, then. I’ll be God for a season!”
He painted all the houses red. The fences became bright orange and the stones of the pathways golden.
People smiled, amused.
He spread his wings, waved and smiled back, proud of the village he was in charge of.
SERENDIPIDY
There’s no Internet, no mains power or gas, and a septic tank collection, once a month.
The only access is a dirt track, and the nearest settlement is two hours’ drive. I’m well off the beaten track, away from prying eyes.
People wonder how I can live in such a remote location, and honestly, it’s not that easy. I struggle with loneliness and the nights are long and dark. I’ve frequently considered moving back to civilisation and friendly faces.
If I could, I would. But, I can’t.
I have to live out here, because otherwise, people would hear the screams.
NORVAL JOE
Linoliamanda folded her arms and frowned. “Yes. It is coincidence that my father opened a store in this remote, out of the way town at the same time you claim someone is plotting to capture Billbert. Anyway. I think you’re just making that up.”
Billbert laughed and rolled his eyes. “Really Linoliamanda, believe her. It’s the Knights of the Roundtable, or something.”
Fire could have flashed from Sabrina’s eyes. “It’s the Dark Knights and they’re really dangerous.”
Linoliamanda’s eyes went wide. “The Dark Knight? You mean, like, Batman?”
Sabrina’s face turned dark and fat raindrops began to splatter around them.
PLANET Z
A remote is useful if there’s more than an arm’s length between you and a device.
Televisions, cable boxes, ceiling fans.
That kind of thing.
My Dyson fan on the nightstand by the bed has a remote.
So, you’d think the remote would be useless, since I can turn on and off the fan directly.
The problem is, you have to use the remote for oscillation and speed
And the timer, which I never use.
Problem is, the remote is tiny, and easy to lose.
So I replaced the Dyson with a cheap normal fan.
And it works just fine.