George was a pirate, but he wasn’t a very good pirate.
He had a bad track record with pet parrots.
So, he went on Amazon and bought a fake parrot.
It was made of styrofoam and fake feathers, and it had an electronic voice chip to make sounds.
There was a strap that he could loop around his arm to hold it in place.
He had to tight it tightly, and it cut off circulation to his arm.
In the middle of battle, his hand went numb, and he dropped his sword.
The parrot laughed, and George stomped on it.