The Georgest George

George was a pirate, but he wasn’t a very good pirate.
He wasn’t even a very good George the Pirate.
In a George the Pirate contest, he came in third.
A cardboard cutout of George came in second place, and the shadow that it cast on the wall came in first.
George drew his cutlass and slashed the cardboard cutout to pieces, destroying it and its shadow.
“I AM THE GEORGEST GEORGE!” screamed George.
He held the trophy high over his head.
With first and second place vacant, the judges changed their decision.
They awarded first place to George’s shadow.