Normal blood wasn’t good enough for some athletes, so a research lab quietly developed SuperBlood.
It transported oxygen and hormones more efficiently than regular blood.
When they tried to test for SuperBlood, it showed up as normal blood.
Instead of banning SuperBlood, the leagues licensed it.
Athletes signed sponsorship deals.
High school kids got back-alley transfusions, and some bled out or got contaminated or fake batches and died.
There was an AIDS and Hepatitis D scare there, too.
Eventually, Yamaha developed artificial muscles that performed great regardless of blood.
If only scientists spent so much effort making people less stupid.
Dog Park
There’s a dog park across the street.
People who live in apartments bring their dogs to the dog park.
They walk with their dogs, play with their dogs, and let their dogs meet other dogs.
There are rules for the owners and their dogs.
Play nice, or go home. No unattended dogs.
Some people abandon their dogs at the park.
They’re bad with children. Or they can’t afford them. Or keep them because they lost their home, or are too old to care for them.
We collect them.
Not for adoption.
With a little teriyaki sauce, they make excellent jerky.
Weekly Challenge #618 – PICK TWO
Welcome to the 100 Word Stories podcast at oneadayuntilthedayidie.com.
This is the Weekly Challenge, where I post a topic and then challenge you to come up with a 100 word story based on that topic.
We’ve got stories by:
RICHARD
Big Brother
I’ve had a dicky ticker for some time. Weirdly, it’s a good thing in some ways – I grant you it will, literally, be the death of me, but on the bright side, it’s brought Harold and me back together.
As brothers go, we never had that close relationship we should have, but since the bad news, he’d do anything he can to help his little brother.
More fool him! I still can’t stand him.
It’s handy having him around though, especially since I’ve been steadily poisoning him for the last few months!
And, when he dies… I’m having his heart!
JEFFREY
My Brother, The Idiot
by Jeffrey Fischer
My brother was so dumb he rounded pi to three. “Easier to remember,” he said. Somehow he passed engineering school, and somehow he ended up with a job designing a building – a round tower in the center of the city. He got fed up with my riling him about his math skills, so, to prove me wrong, he said he would use no computers on the job.
As the mayor used the ceremonial scissors for the ribbon-cutting, the rumbling began. The building started to break into pieces. I ran for my life, but couldn’t help but notice that every chunk that fell resembled a slice of pizza.
SERENDIPITY
Another slice of pie?
No, really, there’s no need to be polite – if you’re hungry, please tuck in, and if you’re enjoying it, then please help yourself to another slice.
There’s no need to apologise for your brother. I’m sure he’d have joined us if he could. I know that we haven’t exactly seen eye to eye in the past, but I’m the first person to admit that I’m by no means perfect, so in a way, I suppose you could call this a slice of humble pie on my part.
Although, your brother is rather tasty, don’t you think?
LIZZIE
The Brothers, the Tower and No Elephant
The brothers had a reputation that preceded them wherever they went. The day they decided to steal the gold statue of an elephant, they came up with a plan and managed to sneak inside the king’s tower. The problem was, they couldn’t find the damn elephant anywhere. They climbed all the way to the top in pitch black darkness. Exhausted, they sat down for a few seconds. No elephant, but the view was magnificent. They decided to watch the sunrise before resuming the search. Suddenly, evil laughter interrupted the dreamy moment. Watching the sunrise was lovely. Free flying was not.
NORVAL JOE
Wearing his grocery bag loincloth, Billbert crept to the edge of the roof, looking like an insane albino native American. He spied his clothes at the base of the tree, towering above the school grounds.
Inconspicuous on the roof, he would stand out like an elephant at a tea party if he flew down there to grab them, now. Too bad his new super power wasn’t like spider man.
Spidey could just shoot a web down to his clothes and snag them.
Once class started Billbert could fly down, snag clothes, and shoot into the locker room to get dressed.
TOM
Out of the Dark
The Brotherhood of Pi came to my village one day. Dressed in the pi-ionic red took their place under a tree said to be the exact spot that Dar Laktor had drawn his proof. The brothers were here to find inquiring souls who were capable of serious mathematic heavy lifting. Boy Who Runs With Elephant and his brother Zin Bok sat at the edge of first ring each morning the good brothers spoke. On the day of departing Boy handed the Brothers a leaf showing his work on a new irrational called Q.
So he left with the brothers.
JON
The Brothers Oyinlola
By
Jon DeCles
The Brothers Oyinlola had a drumroll announce the appearance of any native wildlife, so the tourists atop the tower they owned would not miss anything. They would serve you a slice of iyeye pie while you were waiting, and just in case nothing showed all day, you could have more than once slice. They also had a medical kit, and occasionally a doctor on call, in case some elderly visitor’s ticker conked out when an elephant got upset and charged and shook the tall wooden tower. Lack of funds meant they only advertised their safari on the world wide web.
LAST WEEK
Grab Bag
By
Jon DeCles
The sign said I could grab a bag and fill it with whatever I wanted for only five dollars, but I only had five minutes. I could see what a bargain that would be. I grabbed the bag and started to stuff things in, running up and down the aisles, and I finished on time.
Now I have a pound of walnuts, a pair of red-sequined slippers, a new jock strap, a Thing “As Advertised on TV” (I don’t know what it does), bicycle goggles, ten daffodil bulbs, a really bad hardback novel: but Wait! There’s More! A VCR tape…
DUANE
Pick Two – Tower & Drumroll
I was raised on fairy tales about the brave knight saving the beautiful princess from the tower. There was always an evil stepmother or fearful king keeping the princess hidden away. At eighteen I ventured off to find my fair princess. I heard her one day, singing like an angel from her castle tower. I scaled the wall that night and climbed onto the ledge. The beautiful maiden turned from the across the room and our eyes met… the silence soon broken as she screamed and screamed. The last sounds I heard were the drumroll and the falling of the guillotine.
PLANET Z
Simple Simon was a pieman.
So was his younger brother Saul.
Father left the bakery to Simon.
Even though Saul was the better pieman.
Simon renamed the shop Simon’s Pies.
Saul became very angry.
He started his own bakery, right across the street. Saul’s Pies.
And he tried to drive his brother out of business.
He nearly succeeded.
Instead of going bankrupt, Simon made a deal with some people.
And Saul’s Pies burned to the ground.
Saul was ruined.
Then, Simon’s Pies burned to the ground, too.
Simon’s new partners collected the insurance money.
The brothers manage a McDonalds now.
Overthrow
It took years, but we overthrew the dictator.
Then, we overthrew the dictator that replaced him.
Another dictator took over, but we overthrew him.
The first dictator came back to power, but we overthrew him.
The next dictator was overthrown by the second dictator, who was then overthrown by the first.
After that, the dictators kept popping up and overthrowing each other.
Pretty soon, it was a daily event. You could set your watch by it.
We stopped paying attention, and got along just fine.
I couldn’t tell you who the current dictator is if you asked.
Maybe, it’s me.
A true masterpiece
You see a painting. I see so much more.
I can appreciate the chemical research and experimentation that resulted in the pigments.
The shadows, the light, the vibrant colors in between.
Mixed and layered with absolute precision.
I can recognize the quality of the canvas, and the intricacy of the frame.
The foundation upon which a work is built.
I can admire the skill and patience of each brushstroke.
The angle, the weight.
I can study the genius of the proportion and composition.
Each element in balance with every other.
A true masterpiece.
Even if the painting is utter shit.
Miracle Drug
Aspirin.
Aches. Pains.
A pill a day helps reduce the risk of heart attacks and strokes.
Some call it a miracle drug.
But that’s for people who set low standards for miracles.
Cargill Labs comes up with true miracle drugs every week.
Cures for everything. Cancer, diabetes.
Even old age and death itself.
The problem is, they’re cures.
Cures cure the disease.
You can only sell a cure once.
It’s bad for business.
Where a remedy, you can sell over and over.
Still, having cured old age and death, they have plenty of time.
To work on their less-miraculous miracles.
His Last Words
Brent’s last words were “I’ll never talk again.”
And, to his credit, he’s kept his word.
He hasn’t said a single thing since then.
Technically, he could use that text-to-speech robot voice that Stephen Hawking uses, but he doesn’t.
Nor has he written anything.
Not even his signature. He just draws a scribble when he has to sign for something.
He doesn’t type or text or email. Not even with those stupid emoji pictures.
He just picks up his cue, runs the table, and picks up his winnings.
What is there to say? Money talks, shit walks.
And winners win.
The Losing Of Glen Campbell
Losing someone so suddenly is hard.
Losing someone slowly, one memory at a time, is harder.
They’re still there.
The same face. The same smile.
The same voice.
Asking who you are.
Not knowing anymore.
Somewhere in there, they love you, you hope.
And they do. They just can’t say it sometimes.
The things they do, they test you.
And you try. And you try not to get angry.
It’s hard. But you have to remember for them.
What if… what if they…
What if they were gone.
It’s their suffering you want to end, not yours.
For them. Right?
The Squeaky Wheel
The old saying goes that the squeaky wheel gets the grease.
“It means that you need to speak up if there’s a problem, and it’ll get fixed,” said Arthur’s mom.
So, whenever Arthur noticed anything wrong, he complained.
For a while, things got fixed. Mostly the little things.
But when Arthur complained about important things, like injustice and evil and corruption, people got annoyed.
The wrong people.
Arthur woke up in a strange room, surrounded by men in black suits.
“Grease only works for so long,” said a familiar voice. “Broken wheels get replaced.”
“Mom?”
Nobody heard from Arthur again.
Norval Joe – Grab a bag!
Billbert clung to his tree branch and wished he had thought it through when Roderick told him to grab a bag. How was he to know it would become his only article of clothing.
Considering jumping again, he suddenly lost the choice when his branch gave way.
Either the bag he wore was magic, or he did have superpowers. Instead of falling to the ground, he shot off, above the heads of the unsuspecting students and landed gracefully on the administration building.
He just had to figure out how to get his clothes back from Roderick and get to class.