Boys of Endless Summer

They used to call baseball players “The Boys Of Summer” but they’re playing year-round these days. The World Series is also known as The Fall Classic, Spring Training happens in the Spring, and rookies can work on their skills.
Because they’re starting younger and going at it without a break, the wear-and-tear on their bodies takes its toll quicker. Strained tendons and torn ligaments, and the always dreaded Tommy John surgery.
So few make it to the majors, they stop chasing the dream at twenty-six, broken-down and without an education… without a career… without a future.
Who cares? Play ball!

Best of the best

Who was the best basketball player in history?
You can quote statistics and run simulations, but Doctor Odd has a time machine and can organize games between the actual players.
But he won’t. Because that would change the course of history.
Well, that, and it’s not allowed in the collective bargaining agreement between the players union and the owners. The owners don’t want any players using time machines to jump ahead into their free agency. Or going back to agitate for better terms for the early days of the league.
It doesn’t stop Doctor Odd from gambling on games, though.

Keurig Tea

I bought a Keurig beverage maker for Christmas.
I mostly use fill-your-own coffee cups with it because Kona Hawaiian coffee is my favorite.
But I have other flavors like Caramel and Hazelnut that I like for when I’m too lazy to fill and wash the fill-your-own.
As for tea, well, tea bags are so much cheaper than K-cup tea. I’ve got boxes and boxes of tea on the shelf.
Unused. Because I’m too lazy to make a pot or pitcher of it. Or even put 2 in a cup and run the Keurig without anything in it for hot water.

Weekly Challenge #538 – Stars

Welcome to the 100 Word Stories podcast at oneadayuntilthedayidie.com.

This is the Weekly Challenge, where I post a topic and then challenge you to come up with a 100 word story based on that topic.

We’ve got stories by:

Myst flop

TOM

When I was young I was enamored by lightening bugs. Being young and totally self-absorbed I thought it was my right to capture the lightening. So in a baby food jar ventilated with holes I filled it with flashing bugs. I wasn’t a total bastard, I put grass in the jar, but somehow that wasn’t enough. In the morning all the bugs were dead. Mom said they had a short life span. It’s funny how guilt will chase you through the years. My Mom keep that jar and repurposed it for spices. I toss the killing jar into the trash.

LIZZIE

To Old Jack, Jack Fenton Moore

Sometimes, there’s someone who believes in you.
Sometimes, that person calls you Dreamer and everything seems possible.
And you dream and you create.
Then, suddenly, you close your eyes and you can’t understand.
That hug was too short…
The echo is still there though, reverberating in your memory, pushing you forward.
A word of encouragement was enough for you not to give up back then.
So, you look up and smile. The old owl is somewhere, up there perhaps, reading your stories. He’s nodding, happy that one single word made you believe.
“Dreamer, write. Don’t stop. Write.”
One word.
Dreamer.

MUNSI

The Lovers
By Christopher Munroe

They were star-crossed; but no matter what tragedy the world threw at them their love persevered.

When he asked for her hand she wept, when he saw her in her gown he did, for he knew in that moment that no force in heaven or earth could tear them asunder.

Then the sun went nova.

Both were slain, as was every other thing on the planet. The sterile, charred world hurtled through space, tomb and testament to a simple lesion that’s just as true today as it was back then.

Don’t cross the stars.

Stars, once crossed, will ruin you…

CHARLIE

I saw stars when the meteorite hit me on the top of my head. Since the incident, I’ve been able to read minds and foretell events. I have seen the future, and it looks pretty good, excepting the results of the forthcoming election. I’ve made a few dollars for private consults, and was invited to appear on the Ellen show. I told Ellen that her wife was cheating on her, and if she snuck around and busted into the greenroom, she would catch her lover in flagrante delicto with three of the Spice Girls, who were booked for the show.

#2

I saw stars when I stepped off the curb, hoping to get entangled in a bicycle so my girlfriend would have pity on me and that the accident would be bizarre and surreal enough to make the weekly papers. Not having done this before, I misjudged everything, and was killed…along with the tandem cyclists and the driver that swerved and hit a wall avoiding the bike, the riders, and my dead body. The bike’s fancy, brass horn was embedded in my clacker. When they flipped my body to examine my wounds, I tooted a warning, but it was too late.

JEFFREY

Celluloid Heroes
by Jeffrey Fischer

The Kinks sang that you can see all the stars as you walk down Hollywood Boulevard, so that’s where I went. On one corner, Macauley Culkin sat slumped against a wall, nodding off in his heroin stupor. In the next block I saw Cher, face completely rigid from plastic surgery yet red with rage. She was screaming about George Bush. I hurried on, past Gwyneth Paltrow, hawking goop. I did have a nice chat with a guy named Bob Lankowski. Nice guy. When I asked him what movies I might have seen him in, he laughed. “I’m not an actor. I’m a CPA from Des Moines, here on vacation.”

I spent the rest of my stay in L.A. at the Getty Museum, where I was unlikely to run into anyone from the film industry.

Presidential Ticket
by Jeffrey Fischer

A friend said he was so disgusted with both major party candidates that he’d prefer a third party. “Gary Johnson?” I guessed. “The guy who thinks a Jewish baker should be forced to bake cakes with Nazi images? Not much of a Libertarian. Or that Green Party woman, who’s to the left of Bernie Sanders?” He shook his head. “Neither of them. Han Solo is my candidate. He’s a man of action with experience in defeating evil.”

I considered pointing out that the Star Wars universe was fictional, and that it took place in a “galaxy far, far away,” so neither Solo nor Chewbacca was likely to be a U.S. citizen. Rather than sound like a birther, though, I said, “Haven’t seen The Force Awakens yet, have you?”

RICHARD

Classic

When Kubrick sprang “2001: A Space Odyssey” upon an unsuspecting world, although a prolific and well respected director, his film was not a success amongst the critics.

Criticisms of impenetrable plot, lack of dialogue and slow pace may have sounded the death knell of a lesser movie, however, despite everything, it has become a classic, possibly one of the greatest movies of all time.

It was a triumph for Kubrick too – earning him his only personal Academy Award.

Rumour has it that on arrival at the Oscars ceremony, he took one look and exclaimed: “My God, it’s full of stars!”

SERENDIPITY

I once heard a story about a man whose mistake turned satellites into a thousand shooting stars… “Make a wish!” his daughter prompted him.

If I had a wish, it would be to legalise shooting stars – especially those third rate, C-lister, reality TV ‘stars’ with their enormous egos, undeserved fame and complete lack of talent.

Just line them up against a wall, and shoot the lot of them.

Twice – if necessary – just to make sure.

Coming to think of it, without all those crappy reality TV shows, we’re not going to be needing all those satellites either…

Make a wish!

TURA

Stars
———
It is called the Angler.

It begins when a young prince rides out in search of adventure. He comes to a tower, at the top of which stands a beautiful princess. She has stars in her hair and her face shines like the sun, and her voice is as the sweetest birdsong. She tells of being imprisoned by her wicked uncle, or her incestuous father, or a lecherous sorceror.

She lets down her long, impossibly long, impossibly thick hair to the ground, and the prince takes hold of it. The Angler reels in its tongue and swallows the prince whole.

NORVAL JOE

From the rapid pounding of the approaching boots, Mickey knew descending the stairs was useless. Before he could turn away and search for an alternate escape, a sharp pain split across the back of his monkey head, a flash of stars filled his vision, and then everything went black.
When he came to himself, his furry arms were strapped to his body with duct tape, his head throbbed, and his blurred vision hinted that he was in the back seat of a car. Which direction they headed, or if the car moved at all, he was too dizzy to tell.

PLANET Z

According to legend, the Olympian Gods would raise exceptional heroes into the heavens, and the stars formed pictures of them.
However, the truth is that constellations made up of stars in three-dimensional space are completely arbitrary, and from any other vantage point in the universe the sky you will see is completely different.
From Earth, you see The Big Dipper, The Little Dipper, and Orion’s Belt.
But from Rigel Seven, you see King Gadnaz, Bleen the Mighty, and Pogdar glittering at night.
Literally, mind you. The Rigelians have a tradition of gluing mirrors to heroes and launching them into space.

The God

There’s a civilization of tiny people living in my scalp. They think I’m some sort of god.
An evil god.
I pick at them and scratch them out constantly. Then I flood and smother them every morning with shampoo in the shower.
Then I smother them in darkness when I put on my favorite ballcap. Which I never wash, so they are blanketed in the stench.
And yet, they still call me their god. And sing hymns and shout prayers and conduct rituals and sacrifice crops and livestock in my vaunted name.
Stupid noisy fuckers. Time to shave my head.

Tamer

Ted is a lion-tamer with rage disorder.
So, every now and then, when he throws a tantrum, the ringmaster calls for the lion-tamer tamer.
No, he doesn’t come in with a chair and a whip. Nor is it some hot chick in a low-cut blouse.
It’s actually Gus, the security officer for the circus. He’s a good shot with a taser gun.
“You want to go get a coffee, Ted?” says Gus calmly.
Ted charges, and Gus is forced to zap him.
The crowd applauds and cheers, and then screams as the pack of lions tear Gus and Ted apart.

Clean Slate

If there are legal pads, are there illegal pads?
Yes. There are illegal pads.
Oh, they started off as legal pads, just like any other legal pad, but they were highly impressionable, and they got into ink. Bad ink. And bad contracts.
They say a prescription pad’s not to blame for a corrupt physician’s crimes, and I guess you could same for legal pads gone bad too, but given enough time, the evil rubs off on them.
No, there’s no hope for them, except put them into the recycling bin and maybe they’ll get another chance.
Or become toilet paper.

Misnaming Rights

The baseball team threatened to move to another city, so the city agreed to give the team more tax breaks and financed a new stadium.
A national insurance company headquartered in the city bought the naming rights of the stadium, but the team went with another insurance company.
Sure enough, the team cut corners when they constructed the new stadium, and a deck collapsed during a game.
Even though the insurance company on the stadium wasn’t involved, they got the bad publicity when the lawsuits piled up and victims complained about the settlement.
The team moved to another city anyway.

Live On

Everybody loves The Edna Copperpot Mysteries.
Except the author: Dame Lilith Wilmington.
Sure, Edna had made her fabulously wealthy and famous. Books, movies, and television series kept the royalties rolling in.
Despite the success, Lilith was tired of Edna. She wanted to try something new.
She wrote poetry, and the critics brutally savaged her.
Lilith blamed Edna. So, Edna needed to die.
Lilith finished the final chapter and smiled. And as she hit “Send” her heart gave out.
Lilith died.
After the funeral, the editor cleaned up the ending. The publisher loved it, and made the editor Edna’s new writer.

Trash Talk

Some players have a reputation in the league for trash talk. And the league is trying to clean things up.
So, instead of trash-talking, players are being encouraged to recycle-talk.
The greener the words, the better. Sustainability is key. Renewable is all the rage. Because nobody wants to waste words.
Especially when the game is on the line, and you’re running out of fouls to give, time outs, and words.
Nothing’s worse than a team that’s run out of words, left only with facial gestures and hand signals to finish out the game.
Choose your words wisely, guys.
Speak green.