Violet is a strange girl.
Sure, she’s plain in all regards, from her mousy brown straight hair down to her shabby tennis shoes, but along the way you can’t miss the fact that she’s always carrying a tuba.
It’s what sets her apart from the rest of the girls.
I asked her once why she carries a tuba everywhere she goes.
“Because if I go somewhere without one,” she replies. “so flew places keep one handy. Present company excepted, of course.”
I am proud of my emergency tuba, stored in a box and labeled “IN CASE OF VIOLET, BREAK GLASS.”
When We Were Relish
WikiPedia says that relish is “a cooked, pickled, or chopped vegetable or fruit food item which is typically used as a condiment.”
So, technically, that jar of chopped pickled cucumbers you smacked Alex alongside the head with is not a relish, as it was used as a weapon, not a condiment.
However, if you decide to decapitate Alex, cook his head, and serve it with the chopped pickled cucumbers on the side, then it’s still not relish.
Chopped pickled cucumbers do not go with cooked severed heads at all. However, based on its presentation, you could call it a garnish.
How do you write 100 word stories? #73
Many folk Whiffenpoof from here to Eternity have asked how do you tom write a 100 word
The glue that holds a good story, nay, holds an entire body of literate work is a definable narrative voice. Early in your career you should chose from just where in the mulit-spectrum of emotions your voice speaks. It doesn’t have to reflect your world view. For instance I am a happy and non-violent person, but my narrative voice is an anger pistol waving goon. He bits off sentences and spits out contempt for silly characters. He does not suffer fools lightly. My narrative voice shows no quarter takes no prisoners. Fortunately it’s flawed with a heart of gold.
How does Zackmann write a 100 word story?
The detective was waiting for a “person of Interest” and the plane was late. The Detective was
called Dan Dan the Art Man ever since his investigation led him to recover the stolen Scream
portrait because of knowledge he gained as an art fancier. His fellow detectives counted on him
to get the answer to the question they really wanted the man to answer.
After getting off the plane the man picked his bag off the luggage carousel. Dan showed the
man his badge then took the man aside and said “How do you, Tom, Write a 100 word story?”
Stoic
“I’m not crying,” said Rudy. “I just got smoke in my eyes.” Everyone on Planet Camel had smoke in their eyes. RJ Reynolds tera-formed this rock as part of their adverstiment budget in 3010. They populated the place with genetically altered folk who loved breathing in tobacco. Only drawback was this genetic pool was deeply melancholy. Anything could set them off into fits of crying. Rudy had lost his cat, in 24 hours it had become a day of worldwide mourning. Luckily for RJR the people of planet Camel are stoic they just say they got smoke in their eyes.
How do you write 100 word stories? #72
Many folk with or without you have asked how do you tom write a 100 word story
I saw this ad in the newspaper looking for writers who could write in the style of Hemingway, Heller, and Joyce. I thought how hard could that be? So I sent in my resume and three examples. I got an interview on Monday. I get a call back on Thursday asking if I can start work next week. That’s my desk over there under the piles of greeting cards. I work for subsidiary of Hallmark. I write 100 word greeting cards. A Hemingway valentine, a Heller mother’s day card, a Joyce birthday card. I’m working on a Steinbeck Christmas card.
Mungidon Soup
When challenged by a bowl of mungidon soup, it’s best to have your back to the wall.
Mungidon soup is a clever and social soup, and often hunts in packs.
If you think that upending or shattering the bowl is all it takes to thwart an attack, you’ve thought wrong, you sponge-headed dunderstump. Mungidon soup is even more dangerous when outside of its bowl, tureen, or thermos.
Place your spoon in front of you, dip it into the soup, and consume it completely.
Blow on it if you can. This will soothe it before ingestion.
Otherwise, your intestines might explode.
How do you write 100 word stories? #71
Many folk with or without you have asked how do you tom write a 100 word story
I saw this ad in the newspaper looking for writers who could write in the style of Hemingway, Heller, and Joyce. I thought how hard could that be? So I sent in my resume and three examples. I got an interview on Monday. I get a call back on Thursday asking if I can start work next week. That’s my desk over there under the piles of greeting cards. I work for subsidiary of Hallmark. I write 100 word greeting cards. A Hemingway valentine, a Heller mother’s day card, a Joyce birthday card. I’m working on a Steinbeck Christmas card.
Kleenex Tacos
I’d like to make tacos for dinner tonight.
I have everything I need for them:
Beef
Lettuce
Cheese
Sour Cream
Salsa
Onions
and Seasoning
But I have no taco shells. Nor do I have tortillas.
I can go either way in the eternal soft taco hard taco debate.
I remember back to my Debate Team days in school when I magnificently debated both sides of the issue and took home the trophy.
And stopped on the way home for tacos.
Today, without either shells or tortillas, I must make a third choice:
Kleenex.
(It was either that or toilet paper.)
How do you write 100 word stories? #70
Many folk with a song in their heart have asked how do you tom write a 100 word story
When you only have 100 word its useful to utilize cultural icon that carry with their introduction vase amount of back story. It’s sort of a reverse personification process. We offer symbols in the place of running narrative. We place symbols to capture an instance hook into a common gestalt. Descript the land as dantesque all the loathsome descriptions of hell pours out. Descript someone as a superman or being like Tarzan we are able to conger up larger than life figures. 100 word stories are littered with archetypes. The symbolic pillars of the challenge are monkeys, midgets, and zombies.