Weekly Challenge #58 – Cheating

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Welcome to the Fifty-eighth Weekly Challenge, where I post a topic and then challenge you to come up with a 100 word story based on that topic.
The topic this week was selected by Laieanna: Cheating.
Nine stories were submitted this week. Oops!
We have a rookie, who is actually a podcasting veteran! Yay
The excellent theme music is by Guy David
And, once again, some disturbing madness from the one we all knew and loved as Planet Z.
Go ahead and listen to them by clicking on the grammophone thingy there in the left column and then vote for your favorites (multiple selections are allowed):

Who had the best stories of Weekly Challenge #58?
Mike of Mike Thinks
Guy David from Sixteenth
Tom from Footnote
Elisson from blog d’Elisson
Caleb from Black Tie Martini Club
Ted from Ted’s Podcast
Laieanna from HodgePodge Point
Daphne from Going Broke
Radar from SL Under The Radar
The Seriously Deranged Scribe of Planet Z
  
Free polls from Pollhost.com

WE GOTS PRIZES:
I will be sending the winner a prize… it’s refrigerator magnets for the podcast. Massive amounts of fridge magnets were mailed out in the past week… watch your mail, and elt me know if I’ve missed you.
It is your voting that determines who wins. So listen, vote, and tune in next week to find out who won!


RADAR

It burned in his hand. It burned in his conscience. But he was not going to change his mind, it was far too late for that now. Trembling, he unfolded the crumpled paper in his hand. He read the scrawl on it, recognized the handwriting, felt he knew what the person who wrote it was thinking. He hoped he was wrong. “Please be wrong,” he whispered. “Please, please.”
He dialed. He heard a phone ringing far away. Some one picked up. His heart raced, his thoughts were crazed. A woman’s voice spoke: “Time Traveler’s Lottery Number Selection Services…”

MIKE

Gerald sat in the dark, alone.
Years ago he had cheated his roommate,
swapping a winning lottery ticket with a losing one.
His roommate never knew.
25 million dollars. Gerald bought
expensive cars, lavish parties,
and constant streams of women.
Now, middle aged, money gone,
his tears echo in silence.
Gerald looks out his window, and wonders
what if…..
Miles away, Tom looks out his window.
Making the mortgage was a struggle.
His mind wanders, dreaming of winning
the lotto like his old roommate.
He kisses his wife and kids goodnight.
Drifting off to sleep, content, still pondering….
what if….

GUY DAVID

I was just relaxing man, laying down, listening to All Is Full Of Crap by Björn on the radio when my wife just walks in:
“Take out the trash, do the dishes, vacuum the cat and clean the floor”
“Sure dear, you go and have some fun, I’ll do the house work”
Like hell I will. I have better things to do with my life, like… like… things, y’know. It’s a good thing I keep a banjo playing midget in my drawer. I know, that’s cheating, but I pay him good and he’s thorough. My wife doesn’t suspect a thing.

TOM

Alphonso De La Vega had cheated death inumerical times
much to Death’s vexation. There was the monopoly game
in Madrid. The baccarat hand in Barcelona. Solitaire
in Seville. Twister in Tierra Del Fuego. He was empty
handed and one step behind Alphonso. When Death caught
Alphonso in bed with Persephone he hit the speed dial
on the cell. “Cut the threads!!!” he screamed. But De
La Vega didn’t die. His backside just sprouted 12-inch
cornrows. He looked like a Rastafarite Chia pet. Death
laughed as the instant text from the three sisters lit up
“Ok we’ll butt the dreads.”

ELISSON

He sat in the examination room, forehead beaded with sweat. It was all of sixty degrees in there, A/C turned up full blast: His sweat was from nerves, not heat.
He had to decide.
The University’s code was strict. “On my honor, I give my word that I have neither given nor received aid during this examination.” Transgressors were expelled.
Should he sneak a peek at his crib notes and risk getting caught? Could he look at himself in the mirror if he got away with it? If he relied on memory alone, would he fail?
Should he cheat? Or not?

CALEB

Your cheating heart may make you weep but my cheating heart pumps someone else’s blood. You can still hear it beating in my chest but thanks to the liberalization of free trade it only pumps the blood of the highest bidder. So to stay alive I have to do a perpetual mechanized cartwheel turning to the right, upside down, back over, and upright again. Can’t go too fast or centrifugal force will strangle me, can’t go too slow either. It does have it’s upsides though. I’ve fathered 17 kids so far. Turns out, the ladies really do love a spinner.

TED

Ben and Sarah had been married for almost 50 years. Never in his wildest dreams did he think something like this would happen.
One day, Ben received an email. There was no text, but there were pictures attached.
Clearly, this could not be his Sarah, the woman who had bore his children, who had taken care of him all these years.
And this guy.. He looked to be about 25, with broad shoulders and a thick head of hair. Why would he want a woman of Sarahs age, anyway?
As he left the courtroom, he could still hear Sarah sobbing, and murmuring.. “It wasn’t really cheating! It was Second Life! It’s only a game!”

LAIEANNA

“I demand a rematch,” cried the Hare, “Last one wasn’t fair.”
Tortoise agreed but only with a wager. Hours later they were positioned behind a white line with a crowd. An elephant blew his trunk for the start. Hare kept pace for ten feet then ran off with great speed.
When near the finish, Hare laughed triumphantly. But before his foot crossed the line, a sports car sped by, Tortoise in the driver’s seat. “That’s cheating.” Hare yelled.
“Can’t mess up the moral of the story, now can we?” Tortoise replied, handing Hare the turtle wax. “Don’t scratch the paint.”

DAPHNE

Brad was at the bar and a stranger came in, sat down, ordered a drink and asked if there was a pool table. Brad asked the stranger if he would like to play and place a friendly wager. The stranger smiled and nodded.
Brad cheated and won. The stranger paid his debt and smiled. Brad took his winnings and left the bar. The stranger smiled and watched as Brad crossed the street and into the path of a speeding Metro bus.
The stranger smiled, nodded, took out a list and crossed off a name.
Brad learned, you can’t cheat death.

PLANET Z

The announcement from Metzger Barber College shocked the country: the basketball team was involved in a point-shaving scandal.
The worst part of the news was that the gamblers who paid the players to miss free throws received lousy haircuts and shaves as part of the deal.
Normally, Metzger had high standards when it came to the skills of its students, but these gangsters were going around with uneven sideburns, split ends, and razor-stubble.
You’d expect better.
For days, paperboys stood on street corners and shouted – Extra extra, read all about it: Shave and a haircut: Two-Bit Hoods.


Thanks to everyone for sending in their stories, and I look forward to what you’ve got to write (and say) next week.
The theme for next week’s Weekly Challenge will be posted shortly.

The Even Wackier Adventures of Abraham Lincoln 2

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The stagecoach driver was insisting so vehemently to Mr. Sparks that he was due for a raise; that neither noticed anything wrong until a shot rang out and he saw two highwaymen appear out of the brush with rifles drawn.
The tall one said, “These capitalists generally act harmoniously and in concert to fleece the people, and now that they have got into a quarrel with themselves, we are called upon to appropriate the people’s money to settle the quarrel.” And began pocketing valuables.
That speech was all they needed to convict the flowery future president, who ceased banditry thereafter.

Burning Camel

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Some days, I feel like I am burning my camel at both ends.
No, I don’t burn my candle at both ends. I burn my camel at both ends.
Back in college, I had a wooden footstool shaped like a camel.
One day, I got mad and stomped it. The footstool broke in half.
So, we tossed it on the barbecue pit and lit it on fire.
I said “Some days, I feel like I’m burning my candle at both ends.”
Charlie replied “No, you’re burning your camel at both ends.”
Okay, I guess you just had to be there.

Mmm Mmm Blood

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Pierre had the sharpest and fastest knives in any kitchen in Paris.
So it comes as no surprise that when he chopped his finger off while cutting up vegetables for the soup, he didn’t realize he’d done it until he’d dropped them in the pot.
Along with his finger.
By the time the paramedics had arrived, Pierre had passed out and his assistant was keeping pressure on the wound.
Nobody could find the finger, and apparently they didn’t realize he’d put it into the soup.
Know what?
It tastes delicious.
And best of all – he’s got 9 fingers left.

METRO

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Imagine a disgusting, ferocious parasite.
This creature feeds on time, and when it lands on you, it sucks out twenty-five minutes of your life and flies away.
Every day, this creature comes, and no matter how hard you run or scream for it to stop, it keeps coming back.
Again, twenty-five minutes. Gone forever.
Oh, and its owner does nothing about it.
You’d be pissed off, wouldn’t you?
To me, this creature wears a METRO uniform. It is a bus driver who races through his route, several minutes early.
And leaving me behind, waiting twenty-five minutes for the next bus.

Tom Swift and the Amazing Lithium Steamship

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Tom Swift stood at the launching ramp. In minutes, the S.S. Appleton would be christened and sent on its maiden voyage. With ports of call as far apart as Fairbanks, Alaska, and McMurdo Station, Antarctica, the Appleton would make the world’s first Bipolar Cruise.
The ship was a technological marvel, constructed with a pure lithium hull. “A metal so light, it floats!” Tom said, airily.
Smash! went the Champagne bottle. The Appleton slid into the harbor as Tom’s admirers cheered.
With the hull sizzling ominously, Tom realized too late that highly reactive alkali metal was not, alas, good Hull Material.

The Water

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It’s raining again. The power is out, and I can’t find the candles.
I look out the window at the darkness.
There’s leaves and branches in the drain along the street, and the water is backing up.
If it keeps raining like this, the street will flood. Then, the water will crawl up the sidewalk and work its way up to the door.
When the water knocks on the door, I will answer it.
“Hello, water,” I will say. “Welcome to my home.”
The water will glide over the doormat and into my front hall.
I enjoy having guests over.

Fold

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Beads of sweat began to trickle down Ibrahim’s brow. This bothered him. He did not want to appear nervous, but it was stifling in the small room.
His next card skidded across the table. Four of spades, not much help there. He was in too deep to back out now, having jumped into the betting with his pair of pocket aces. Maybe they would be enough…
No, they weren’t. Fuad raised, confident as always. Ibrahim folded: no choice.
He was down to a grimy pair of boxer shorts and an explosive belt. Gaza Strip Poker was not for the faint-hearted.

Sailing To Freedom

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Slaves dream of freedom like the starving dream of food.
I pondered this as I went below decks to check on our passengers.
Well, they were more like cargo, to tell the truth.
The shifting of chains in the darkness. A moan. A shout.
Never singing. They were too sick to sing.
Poor bastards.
Regulations called for a mid-trip survival check, but nobody was crazy enough to walk in the middle of that sea of savagery.
I closed the hatch and asked the navigator: “How much longer?”
“Two days, and we’ll see the Liberian coast,” he said.
And then, freedom.

The Even Wackier Adventures of Abraham Lincoln 1

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Abe said he was feeling ill and unable to join Mary Todd at church.
“Honey, a little religion might make you feel better”, said Mrs. Lincoln
“It will not do to investigate the subject of religion too closely, as it is apt to lead to Infidelity.”
Mary Todd, noticed what looked like Mr. Speed approaching the house furtively through the alley.
“No dear, not today it aint!” replied Mrs. Lincoln as she took her oversized family bible and slammed it between her husband’s legs.
Upon hearing the screams, Joshua Speed, decided maybe he should go to church this particular Sunday.