Floating

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It rained hard for a day, and the bayou looked like it would overflow, but it didn’t.
We watched tree branches and other junk flow with the water.
Then, a dead body. Jeans, jacket… face down and not moving.
Well, okay. It was moving downstream.
Around the bend, another body floated by.
Two bodies.
Instead of calling the police, we placed bets.
I bet on the first body. It had a good head start.
But the other one was coming up fast.
Mine got caught on a tree branch, and the other won.
Only then, did we call the police.

The Prison of Oz

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Dorothy and the Cowardly Lion sat in the prison cell, weeping.
The Scarecrow had insisted that they take him apart and slip him through the bars.
“I can go for help!” he said cheerfully.
So, they pulled out his straw and threw it with his empty clothes out the barred window.
They blew away in the breeze.
The Tinman insisted that he could slip through the bars if they hammered him flat.
The heavy wooden bench proved useful for this purpose.
It also proved destructive. They called out to him, but the Tin Man did nothing but twitch and moan.

Hawaii

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I saved up for a year to go to Hawaii.
I kept a calendar, marked every day off until it was time.
First class ticket, champagne and leg room.
They put one of those flower necklaces on me.
Checked into the hotel, and then took a taxi to a party.
First time I ever had poi.
That’s when my throat locked up.
I’m allergic, it turns out.
Spent the whole week in the hospital.
I don’t remember the flight back.
Yeah, being allergic to bees or gluten would suck.
But I can’t help but think this was far, far worse.

Curses

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The Great Mage, The Master of Kraken, taught me that all curses should be removed in reverse order as they were inflicted on the victim as to not cause harmful effects as they are unbound and dispelled.
Like turning the pages of a book. Auras overlap, but a good wizard can carefully determine the proper procedure in less than a day.
Never rush a job because someone’s dying from their afflictions. That can be delayed or cured, too.
With that in mind, where is this werewolf with the Midas Touch that’s been turned to stone?
I love a good challenge.

Rite of Passage

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Some societies have complex and deadly rites of passage. The elders really bust your ass.
Others require that simple rituals be performed. That kind of cake walk makes for a weak man and a weak tribe.
The times sure have changed since my tribe roamed these lands, before fences. Before the white men came.
My great-grandfather had to hunt ten rattlesnakes on his own. Now, my grandson gets a hundred bucks worth of chips and is told to make it last the evening.
Otherwise, we’ll throw a rattlesnake at him.
Maybe the times haven’t changed all that much after all.

Weekly challenge #152 – Wikipedia Wildcard!

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Welcome to the Weekly Challenge Number One Hundred And Fifty Two, where I post a topic and then challenge you to come up with a 100 word story based on that topic.
The topic this week was… was…. um…
It’s The Wikipedia Wildcard.
The excellent theme music is by Guy David
VOTING

Weekly Challenge #152 – who had the best stories?
Tom from http://midi.libsyn.com/
Guy from http://guydavid.com/
Lynda from http://sisterpepperspray.blogspot.com/
Michael S.
Caleb from http://blacktiemartiniclub.com/
Justin from http://www.thespaceturtle.com/
Ashley Story #1
Ashley Story #2
Anima from http://zabbadabba.com
Norval Joe from http://www.norvalsoutlook.blogspot.com/
Planet Z
  
Free polls from Pollhost.com

I forgot Caleb in the first poll version, so votes are reset.
Go ahead and listen to them and then vote for your favorites (multiple selections are allowed):


Tom

Its a crate diggers Concerto, jazz pulled long and hard through a hip hop ringer washer. Looping breaks of Johnny Hammond, Morricone, Ellington and session men who smoked up the room with Coltrane, A Love Supreme. A mix of a man with a thousand names takeN one from a man of a thousand faces, Lord Quas. Otis Jackson Oxnard’s own Madlib DJ supreme. Its a blunt indulgent work without the hope of salvation but on its cover the Via Crucis, The Stabat Mater Dolorosa, thorn crowned hound, pluck chicken of god, and an Aunt Jemima Benedictine mocking the fourth Station.

Guy David

Plutonium trifluoride is not to be trifled with. Those violet crystals are investigated as a source of nuclear energy in some well known laboratories by respected scientists, but that’s not their real power. Mixed with the right ingredients using the right combinations of words whispered in exactly the right intonations, great things could be accomplished, sinister things too. Structures can be changed, tissue morphed into shapes. You see that little green monkey over there? That was my assistant. You better excel in your tasks here. I’ve got many of those violet crystals left, and I know how to use them.

Lynda

Hello and welcome to the 2009 Speedway Ekstraliga! It is jam-packed tonight! Poles from pole to pole have come to witness an exciting rematch between Atlas Wroclaw and
Lotos Gdansk! Neither team did very well last season, but they don’t that stop
them!
As they round the far turn–what’s this? Jason Crump has stood up on his motorbike
and is turning to drive directly into the path of the other riders!
He’s holding something…wait…it’s a sports drink! The other riders are grabbing
the bottles tossed by Crump. I seem to be watching an advertisement. The race
hasn’t started yet.

Michael S.

“Hello everyone and welcome to our annual bat convention.”
“The big topic this year is the newly discovered variety in the bat kingdom,
the “baseball bat”.”
“This is not your typical Gray, Indiana or Virginia big-eared bat.”
“It is found, for the most part, around the Louisville area.”
“As you can see in the slides it is a very muscular mammal as if it is on
steroids.”
“We invite you to swing by our area here in the front and throw as many
questions as possible at us.”
“Together we will build a knowledge base for our new friend the baseball bat.”

Justin

At Hoover Dam Dr. Hudson reached out with his energy-sense and saw the
ambient energy with second sight. Using ethereal fingers he grasped the
energy in handfuls, stuffing them into a pocket inside himself. He went as
fast as he could to win the Power Plant to Power Plant Worldwide
Teleportation Race. His destination was the Pyhäkoski hydro-electric power
plant in Muhos, Finland. He burst himself in to tiny particles and shot
them across the planet with sheer force of will. He reassembled himself atop
the power plant. “Hurrata” the crowds cheered. Dr. Hudson had finally
reached the Finnish line.

Caleb

Deus Meus
we need someone to pay us
cuz all we ever hoped to be
was students at St anthony’s
Deus Meus
Come and join the craze
We gotta get some kind of start
to get an educated heart
don’t wanna be no fool
in a public school
in the town of suffolk
all us kids are really fucked
unless we’re paying catholics
Deus Meus
We don’t mind the gays
if with priests we get defensive
our tuition’s more expensive
Deus Meus
we need someone to pay us
cuz all we ever hoped to be
was students at st anthony

Ashley

I’ve always loved making it on trains. But my favorite has to be the South Wind. That happy jaunt from Chicago to Miami was always the best. That’s where I lost my cherry. The wife and I later became charter members of the streamliners club back in 1953. Nothing says loving like making whoopee on a moving train. Our little group found the big O in more sleeping cars than I can count. We would have reconsummated our 50^th wedding anniversary aboard the South Wind, but the streamliner was renamed the Floridian. In the end, we used the dryer instead.
I’ve always loved making it on trains. The South Wind passenger train was definitely my favorite because it was my first. My wife and I joined the streamliners club shortly thereafter. As charter members there wasn’t a passenger train that was safe. Even though that was decades ago, we still get after it when the surviving members of the club can get together. Times change but thanks to Viagra the club still keeps it up. Now, where’s that damn train, it’s late. Whatever happened to following a schedule? I just took my last pill and time’s running out to perform.

Anima

Behind me are the Izubra cataracts. The Vlach, native to the Carpathian
basin, have protected these rugged, pristine waterways for thousands of
years; It is an ancient obligation for them.
The waterfalls of Serbia are portals to MiddleEarth, the land of the
dwarves. The Vlach owe their allegiance, repayment for assistance in
driving out invaders during the Roman conquest of this region. In exchange
for magical arms, they promised to protect the secret entrances hidden
behind these tumbling waters.
The latest intruders aren’t as tough as the Romans. Extreme kayakers’ double
paddles are pitiful when matched against a spiked halberd.

Norval Joe
http://www.withoutsanctuary.org

It looked like the entire town came out for the event. There was a carnival
atmosphere in the town square. People just like us gathered to view the lynching.
See, here’s the postcard. The black man raped a white girl; no one is sure who the
girl is, but there were plenty of white witnesses. There was a grim fascination as
they hauled him up and some commented and even laughed at how he thrashed about.
They mutilated his body afterwards. It didn’t seem right, what they did. But they
were good people who did it, people just like us.

Planet Z

She’s a pretty thing. Not pretty enough to strip anymore, but she had smarts enough to become a nurse.
I know she doesn’t love me. Who cares? My damn family hates her. A lot.
They should. If we get married, she gets everything.
Good.
Candlelight.
Wine.
The best sheets on my bed, the one I’ve been confined to for the last three years.
I pick up the ring. It’s gigantic. I hold it out.
And… that’s when… when…
The big one hits.
She screams, grabs the ring, and puts it on.
My damn family will get everything. Except that ring.

The Chip

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I work at this place, maybe you’ve heard of it… Cyberdyne Industries?
Anyway, I needed an expansion chip, found one sitting on a workbench, turned out to be from the head of a Terminator.
Now it’s trying to take over the world every time I sync it.
I called tech Support and told them this, plus, it’s getting lousy reception. They told me to reboot it.
Now my downloads are faster, finally fast enough to take over the whole world.
Relax – they’ll come out with a 4G model next year, I’ll do the upgrade, and we’ll all be free again.

Rocketman

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“My power is infinite!” cackled Dr. Demonic, rubbing his hands together and throwing switches on a complicated console, the highlight of his dark, evil fortress. “The world will bow at my feet!”
“Infinite?” I shook my wrists. “Then why am I handcuffed to your Doomsday Missile?”
The villain growled. “Okay, so the chairs from Ikea didn’t have arms. And they had wheels. My finest moment, ruined by a hostage rolling around the floor? My powers of improvisation are infinite!”
He hit the launch button, and was incinerated by the rocket’s exhaust.
I didn’t have long to chuckle at his stupidity.

Kim

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Kim never wears orange now.
The last time she did, she looked like a pumpkin.
“PumpKim,” they called her.
That got her mad.
Everyone who called her PumpKim, she punched in the face.
Sure, she was fat, but in all the years she exercised to try to work off the weight, she got strong, too.
Lots of broken noses later, she ended up in jail for a year. It was supposed to be 30 days, but someone called her PumpKim in jail and got shivved.
I hope she’s not listening to this podcast. I don’t want my nose broken again.

The Candidate

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Crowds surrounded the candidate, or the spot they thought he was standing.
Throughout the campaign, everywhere they thought he was politically, he wasn’t.
So much so, with so many lies and double-deals, he’d ripped a hole in the fabric of space-time.
One step ahead, his campaign called it.
Displacement, the scientists called it.
The distance grew. Pretty soon, the candidate appeared miles from where they thought he was.
Despite this phenomenon, he was elected. When he took office, as he put his hand on the Bible, he vanished completely.
The hole closed over.
The judge said “Amen and good riddance.”