The 100 Word Stories Podcast

Unlike other demons who required fancy rituals, sacrifices, and strange geometric patterns drawn on the floor, Agarro Darkshade had an ad in the yellow pages. Forgoing the traditional fireball, he preferred to knock on the front door. He also didn’t require souls or other rare artifacts for payment, he just traded in cash. No checks or credit cards, he wasn’t set up for that. He also didn’t practice dark magic. There was enough of that going about. Most of the time he’d snap his fingers to clean a house, fix a clanky air-conditioning system, or get a car running again.

Hampton Maddox drew the short straw and earned the role of getaway driver for the heist. The thing is, he didn’t know whether he should wear a mask or not. I mean, sitting there in a car in a mask is kind of suspicious, but if there are cameras on the street, they’ll clearly identify him. So he split the difference and put on nose glasses with a Groucho mustache. A cigar completed the ensemble. However, when the gang ran out of the bank, he forgot how to unlock the doors. He rolled down the windows though. That’s sorta worked.

Sixgun McGinty had an itchy trigger finger. Thankfully itchy trigger fingers are covered by the gunslinger union medical plan. Doc Walker gave him some pills and a cream and advised him to wear thin gloves for a few weeks. His condition significantly improved and instead of prematurely blowing away deputies and sheriffs and Marshalls, he shot them at a more reasonable and decent pace. Not that the law men ever felt like that. They felt like they were shot and bleeding out, which they did. McGinty then complained of a sore throat, but they still put a rope around it.

Frederick maintained the boiling oil over the entryway at the Duke’s castle. But he used the finest cooking oil of the kingdom, and he had a side business of making skewers of tempura, vegetables and chicken. It was quite the lucrative venture. On Thanksgiving, he would deep fry turkeys. The Duke really enjoyed deep fried turkey, and he gave Frederick a promotion. Frederick‘s assistant, then took over the oil duties, but the next Thanksgiving he forgot to thaw the turkey and when they were dropped in to the cauldron, the ice flashed to steam and scalded everyone in the tower.

When it came to jobs at the castle, a lot of the guards were jealous of Frederick. He was in charge of the night shift for the boiling oil that they could pour over enemy soldiers coming through the main entrance. with the castle being in northern Denmark, and it’s cold climate, Frederick was warm in winter while the archers on the parapets had to wrap themselves in multiple elk skins. Then the Duke remodeled the entrance to use interchangeable archers to fire through murder holes. Frederick was not so good with a bow and arrow, and he was downsized.

More and more football players are suffering the effects of multiple concussions and brain damage. Despite tougher rules and tougher helmets, weak schools and brains still end up damaged. Thankfully, there’s an endless supply of guys willing to make millions at the expense of their long-term health. Scientists look to nature for Solutions. The woodpecker has a tongue so long, it wraps around its brain while it’s bashing its head against a tree. Genetically engineering a football player with such a long tongue might be difficult, but I’m sure that the cheerleaders and the players baby mamas would approve.

Jenny saw the silver picture frames at an estate sale. There weren’t any pictures in them. Which meant the family wanted the photos but not the frames which is strange, I mean, they’re silver, but maybe they just needed the money. Or maybe they bought the frames but never got around to putting pictures in them. Or they took the pictures out to put into a photo album. Her mind raced with possibilities, telling stories and stories about stories. She bought them for really cheap, went to a jewelry store, and sold them for their silver. For a good price.

The Robo corporation releases new models every year. The latest, Trixie, is a rather versatile model that can handle most tasks. Unlike their Heather or Yoko, it can handle domestic housework, babysitting, offshore oil rig maintenance, and some surgical procedures. The Eloise, which was recalled recently, was only in limited release and despite several firmware updates, never quite could get the hang of yoga or crochet. And the less said about Cynthia, the better. When I last heard, the class action lawsuit had been settled with the victims or their families. What a nasty piece of work that Cynthia was.