Author: R.

• Lizzie
• Richard
• Serendipidy
• Tom
• Norval Joe
• Planet Z

The next topic is PICK TWO Aurora, Hard to believe, Contribution, Crew cut, Dealers, Dirty

RICHARD

Mahimba

Mahimba the storyteller struck an imposing figure in his tribal robes, and tonight – as always – he had a captive audience.

He was relating ‘The lion that ate cherries’, and other than his deep, sonorous tones, you could have heard a pin drop.

All too soon, it was over and the tourists made their way to the bar, topping up on drinks in preparation for Mahimba’s promised next story: ‘The dancing hippo’.

We made a killing at the bar on story nights, and Mahimba did extremely well from the tips.

As for his stories… Authentic African folklore? Nope. Complete fabrications? Absolutely!

SERENDIPIDY

As dictators go, he was probably one of the worst. Ruthless, heartless and despotic. Intolerant of opposition, few dared to challenge him, and those who did would come to a sticky end.

They called him ‘The Lion’.

And, he had a fondness for cherries. Expensive delicacies in this country, but money was no object, and he demanded the very best. So, the very best, he got.

Every day, he’d feast upon huge bowls of luscious, ruby red cherries, spitting out the stones as casually as he despatched his enemies.

Cherries, lovingly and carefully prepared by me.

Copiously laced with cyanide.

LIZZIE

He was furious. The Lion That Ate Cherries? What kind of a Xmas gift was that?! He was a writer. He wanted books, not worthless pseudo-art. And, on top of it all, that creepy cousin, smirking… No! And then, it hit him. The photograph. He remembered the photograph. “I’ll take it. The painting, yes.” Everyone mocked him. He smiled. Two weeks later, he arrived at a remote village in Africa. An elderly woman opened the door. “I’ve been waiting for you.” Right there, a whole library of first editions, rare books, a dream come true. “Your grandfather knew you’d understand.”

TOM

The Lion The Monk and the Mouse.

Most folk know the Koan about the Monk and the strawberry. In that same canon was: The lion that ate cherries. On a hill a Lion spied a Monk crossing a valley. He was very hungry. At his good fortune he gave out a mighty roar. Hearing said roar the Monk took off running. All day the two ran, the Lion never gaining on the Monk. Finally, the Monk spied a Cherry tree. He clambered up with the lion on his heels. The Lion dropped spent on the bottom of the tree. Now all he had to do was wait.

839

Train

Unseen in the branches was a field mouse. He noted the monk but kept his eyes trained on the Lion. While both were quite dangerous, the greater danger thought the mouse was being eaten. The Monk started throwing branches at the lion, the lion didn’t mover. The mouse began gnawing at tiny branches. A cherry dropped, the lion caught it and purred. The Monk joined, together they stripped the tree of all the cherries. The Lion slowly roses and walk back to his hill. The Monk and Mouse gave praise to the Budha. Limbed down the tree, and waked away.

NORVAL JOE

Buhmilda continued. “There are a lot of children’s songs that seem innocuous, but are actually used to encourage magical abilities. ‘Ring around the rosies’, ‘London Bridges falling down’, and ‘The Lion that ate cherries'”.
Linoliumanda’s eyes lit up. “I know them all. My daddy sang them to me for years. I should have magic then, right?”
Buhmilda gave the blond girl a sad look but Sabrina took advantage of the question. “No. It just shows you’re a dope. If you had magical abilities, you’d have learned some by now.”
Shell shocked by Sabrina’s rudeness, Linoliumanda wandered back across the meadow.

PLANET Z

It only took a generation to transform the studio from a beloved institution to a bomb factory.
Instead of giving audiences the entertainment they wanted, the studio greenlit projects that ticked the boxes woke social media activists demanded, but never actually paid for.
When management tried to steer the company back to sanity and profitability, radicals in the rank and file protested until the board, contrary to profit-seeking board behavior, replaced the management with their own handpicked radicals.
Pressure mounted at other studios to follow the radical studio’s trajectory.
Instead of surrendering to the mob, though, they fired the radicals.

CHATGPT

In the moonlit savannah, a lone lion with fur as dark as the night discovered a mysterious grove of cherry trees. Their blood-red fruits glistened, tempting the beast with an otherworldly allure. Ignoring instincts, the lion devoured the forbidden cherries. As the juices trickled down its jaws, an eerie transformation unfolded. Its eyes glowed an ominous crimson, and a malevolent hunger gripped its soul. No longer the king of the jungle, it prowled the shadows, a sinister creature haunting the dreams of those who ventured too close. The once-majestic lion, now cursed by the sinister sweetness of cherries, hungered for more than flesh.

• Lizzie
• Richard
• Lisa
• Serendipidy
• Tom
• Tura
• Norval Joe
• Planet Z

The next topic is The lion that ate cherries

RICHARD

Uncle Derek

Uncle Derek came to a rather unfortunate and grisly end: eaten by lions in the heart of Africa.

At least, that’s what we were told as kids. The reality turned out to be somewhat more prosaic.

Uncle Derek was actually in prison, doing a fifteen year stretch for drug dealing, following a raid at his local pub, ‘The Heart of Africa’.

Our parents didn’t want us to grow up with the stigma of his misdeeds, so they made up the lion story.

Which makes me wonder if Aunt Ethel really was abducted by aliens, like they always told us happened.

SERENDIPIDY

What would you rather?

To be torn apart by sharks, or eaten by lions?

It’s a serious question -enquiring minds need to know.

How about being flayed alive, or burned at the stake? What’s your preference?

Boiled in oil, or incarcerated in concrete?

I know you’re thinking none are particularly pleasant ways to die, and you’d rather not choose.

Which is just as well, really, since it’ll be me deciding anyway.

And, frankly, I’ve no time for any of that nonsense.

Too complicated and messy.

It’s a simple, single bullet to the temple for you.

You’ll be just as dead.

TOM

I’ll be carrying a copy of war and peace under my left arm

Arthur bemoaned the fact the best code phrases and mission ops had been used up. It was a lot like the lack respect you would get for Hurricane Lulu in spite of her 250 mph winds. Gone was the eagle has landed, or Operation Desert Storm. Even that meeting next to the Brandenburg gate with that wraithy thin east German lass who insisted on using: In winter the snow is deep. Eat by Lion, come on what kind of secret code is that. I was pretty much at that moment he saw the large cat. Eyes above the square smiled.

838 – Every good intention

No good deed is left unpunished is a wristed phrasing by my name’s sake Thomas Aquinas who wrote in Summa Theologica: For as punishment is to the evil act, so is reward to a good act. Now no evil deed is unpunished, by God the just judge. Therefore, no good deed is unrewarded, and so every good deed merits some good. My favorite is Jan-Michel Vincent. in August 1996, He sustained a permanent injury to his vocal cords from an emergency medical procedure after an automobile accident. It left him with a permanently raspy voice. So he sued the EMTS

LIZZIE

He grabbed the book Eaten by Lions. The book was in the secret room.
Gladiators, hungry lions. Boring. On top of it all, the blasted book weighed a ton.
One day, two days, and his hair turned gray.
Three days, four days, and he looked like a 90 year old man.
The book changed too. It looked less dusty, less moldy.
And he couldn’t remember a single word.
But why did his master want him to read that book?
When he exited the tower, he understood why.
His 90-year old master looked much younger.
Eaten, but definitely not by lions.

TURA

Eaten by Lions

———

It was a long, hot drive to my daughter’s commune, deep in the savannah. Her invitation had surprised me after our estrangement over her fanatical veganism, but I had to see her.

We walked out together, and I was reassured to see them managing the place competently, an oasis amid the scrub and acacia.

While pondering our unspoken issue, I suddenly realised she wasn’t at my side. In the distance she screamed “Die carnivore!” I made for the compound, but found the gate locked, the walls unclimbable.

Night fell. Soon, I heard the distant growl of a lion. Then, more.

NORVAL JOE

Sabrina rolled her eyes. “Of course you know that song. Everyone knows The Lion Sleeps Tonight.”
Linoiumanda shook her head, closed her eyes, and sighed, trying to maintain her patience. When she stumbled over a clump of weeds, she opened her eyes and scowled at Sabrina. “I know that song in the original Swahili language and it tells of an entire village of people eaten by lions.”
Sabrina scoffed.
As they reached the cabin, Buhmilda said, “She’s right Sabrina. Much of our magic is tied to Swahili tradition. And that song, specifically is used in testing babies for magical ability.”

LISA

The Truth is out

Pippa has understandably been living in fear of her police identity being discovered. In the little bit of fitful sleep that she manages she has a recurrent dream about being eaten by lions.

The girls huddle together for warmth. They share stories about fictional worlds. Books and Films seem safer than talking about who will be missing them at home. Some things are too emotional for a semi dark basement in December.

They hear the first door being unlocked. Unsure whether to get excited for food, or fear what might happen.

It’s Pippa he’s come for.

PLANET Z

I was an intern at the zoo for a summer, and I learned a lot about the things that happen behind the scenes.
Cleaning the cages, vet care, guests who do dumb and strange things.
One dumb guy was trying to get a selfie at the lion pit and dropped his camera in.
Instead of calling for help, he tried to go in and get it himself.
We got good video of it on the surveillance cameras.
It’s the highlight of the blooper reel they play at holiday parties at the zoo.
That, and when the slushie machine blew up.

ChatGPT

In the heart of the African savannah, a daring photographer sought the perfect shot. Ignoring warnings, he approached a pride of lions, camera in hand. As he crouched for the ideal angle, the predators stirred. Suddenly, the tranquil scene erupted into chaos. The lions, hungry and provoked, surrounded him. His lens captured the intense stare of the alpha lion before the inevitable unfolded. Nature’s power overwhelmed the audacious photographer, consumed by the wild. The sun dipped below the horizon, leaving only echoes of a foolish quest. In the circle of life, the camera remained, silently documenting the untamed fate he had met.